Broken Wings
by sonicarutha
Summary: When Ichigo returns to the Soul Society he finds that it is more savage than he recalls. Death, hate, heartbreak, and desertion become part of his life as he struggles to adjust to his life as lieutenant of the 9th Division. Sequel to Dead and Gone.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Broken Wings  
**Pairings:** Ichigo x Rukia, Renji x Rukia, Hisagi/Kira, Hisagi x Hinamori, Hitsugaya x Hinamori, slight Kyouraku/Ukitake, a mention of non con Aizen/ Byakuya, slight Ichimaru/Kira, and slight Aizen x Hinamori  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, language, some sexual content, talk of suicide, and a reference to rape  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach, **Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Rukia walked through the streets that she had once known so well, the streets that she had once called her homes. As she walked through the roads of Karakura town, she felt all of the anxiety come back to her. It had been a year since she had been here, it had been a year since she had seen Ichigo's face. In that year she had finally found happiness, in that year she finally realized what she and Renji had always had between them. As she looked around the town, watching the sun set she knew that this was a bad idea.

Days after her brother had come in and begged her to get Ichigo, she quickly left. Only a day before Renji was returning to her. Her life had completely changed. There was no way she could look that boy in the eyes. She was engaged. She had experienced a miscarriage. She was promoted to lieutenant of the 13th Division. The Kuchiki Rukia that Kurosaki Ichigo had once known was gone, she no longer existed.

She looked at all of the houses, wondering what had occurred in them while she was gone. Were they all happy? Were the people who she remembered still living in those houses, or in the year had they left? She was a stranger in a land that she didn't know. She couldn't take anymore of it.

Then she stood outside the building, the Kurosaki Clinic. It had been a year. Would he still remember her face? Would he still remember what he was destined to do? Did he still remember the Soul Society? She watched as the door open, her heart stopping as she watched someone walk out. There in the setting sunlight stood Kurosaki Ichigo. He looked exactly the same as she left him, no taller, no thinner, no fatter, he was the same Ichigo. She smiled as she looked at him, unable to speak his name. That's when those eyes looked upon her.

"Rukia?" he asked as he walked forward, his voice sounded exactly the same. "Is that you?" he walked deeper into the road. "Rukia…"

Rukia looked up at him. "It's been a while, Ichigo…"

He ran into the middle of the street, and much to her surprise, he ran up to embrace her tightly. As she was in his arms, all she could think about was Renji. Something about this felt wrong, something about this whole situation felt wrong. She closed her eyes tightly as she felt his arms tighten around her.

"Where the hell have you been? It's been a year. I didn't get a visit. It's like you forgot all about me. You didn't even leave a note…" he backed away from her, his hands still on her shoulders.

"It's a long story…" she breathed.

"Well don't stay out here… you have to come inside. We have to catch up…"

She shook her head. "I don't want to impose…"

"Come on, my father's out, my sisters are out, I'm just hanging with some friends… and you kind of owe it to me to explain why you disappear for over a year and then out of nowhere come back to my doorstep without warning…" he walked toward the door.

Rukia walked toward the house as she took a deep breath, something about all of this was wrong, she could feel it. But still she followed him into the house, knowing that she was on a mission; there was nothing she could do to defy it. It was all good politics, nothing personal.

As she walked through the door, she only saw familiar faces. There sitting at the table were the same gang that she remembered from back in the day. Inoue Orihime, Ishida Uryuu, Sado Yasutora, they all looked exactly the way that she remembered them. In the year it was like she hadn't missed anything, it was like none of them had ever been apart. As she watched their eyes fall upon her, she knew they remembered her.

"Kuchiki-san!" Orihime jumped out of her chair. "You're back…"

"Don't get too used to it; I'm going to have to leave again soon…" Rukia looked around the room. "Since when does your father leave you home alone?"

"Since when are you in such a rush to leave? Whenever you come here you spend a long time, why should this be any different?" Ichigo looked into Rukia's eyes. "Unless you're afraid that useless friend of yours is going to come after you…"

"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime shook her head. "Don't talk about Abarai-kun like that…"

Rukia shook her head. "I doubt that Renji is going to be coming here anytime soon… he's otherwise occupied…"

She couldn't tell him the truth, she couldn't tell him that Renji was a captain and that she was his lieutenant. She couldn't tell him about the war. The world that he had once known, the world that he remembered had been destroyed a year ago. He looked at Ichigo and she knew that he didn't need to know, not yet.

"So what have you come here for?" Ishida asked, always getting to the point.

"To bring Ichigo back," she breathed.

"And what does that old man want me to do for him now?" Ichigo snorted.

Rukia bowed her head. _That old man was killed by Aizen…_

"We need you to help us accomplish a task…" she took a deep breath as she looked Ichigo's eyes. "You're the only one who can help us…"

"And when do you intend on leaving?"

Rukia didn't waste a second as she was in a rush to get back to the Soul Society. "Now would be good…"

"_Now_?" Ichigo asked. "You want me just to run away from home _now_?"

"It's really serious…"

"I don't care if the whole Soul Society's on fire; you can't just pull me away from here. I have a life… I have hollows to take care of… school… family… there's way too much just to walk away from…"

"You would put that above the Soul Society…"

"I haven't seen you in a year and the first thing that you want to do is to steal me? Rukia, what's going on? I know you didn't come here to take me back with you for no apparent reason… there's a method to your madness…"

Rukia took a deep breath. "It's very hard to explain…"

"Try to…" Ichigo begged as he looked at the shinigami. "Please, you can't just pull me away every time that you need me. And it has to be pretty urgent. I'm worried now…"

"No you're not…" Rukia knew him better than that.

"Okay, so I'm not… but I have a right to know…"

Orihime shook her head, trying her hardest to absorb the whole situation. "How long will he be gone?"

Rukia shrugged. "I have no clue, until the conflict is over…" she looked up at Ichigo. "What do you say?"

Ichigo took a deep breath. "I'm going to hate myself for this… but on one condition… Chad, Inoue, and Ishida come with me…"

Rukia nodded. "Deal…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ukitake looked through the files that were sitting on his desk. "Byakuya, I think you've outdone yourself… you even found their location?"

"I have more authority in the Seireitei than you think I do, Ukitake," Kuchiki looked through the files. "They left all of the information in the 6th Division before they left; I think that they thought they could trust me."

The days of the past week had passed by really slowly, Ukitake feeling the pressure of his position start to weight him down. The papers were endless, the meetings were pointless, and the wait was nerve-wracking. But as he awoke today, he knew everything was going to go their way. Today was the day when Hisagi Shuuhei and Abarai Renji returned.

"It's been a while…" Kuchiki sighed. "Those two have been extremely missed. Never knew how good of captains they were until I had to go months without them."

"Remarkable lieutenants make remarkable captains, and remarkable captains make remarkable captain commanders…" Ukitake sighed. "I'm still trying to tell Kyouraku about you being my heir…"

"You haven't told him?" Kuchiki asked.

"Not quite…" Ukitake sighed.

Ukitake thought deeply about Kyouraku. They were on two different planets now. Ukitake had been absorbed in his work as Kyouraku continued living the same life that he had always been. He spent all day with Kuchiki Byakuya looking through papers, Kuchiki Byakuya now becoming attached at the hip with him. Everyday that passed, he would think of Kyouraku, think of him and how they used to be. He missed that feeling, missed the joy, he missed the innocence. Becoming so absorbed in memories, he forgot about the moment was he was in, the sound of Kuchiki's voice bringing him back.

"Are you alright?" Kuchiki asked. "Whenever we talk about Kyouraku, you seem to go into your own little world."

Ukitake looked at the younger captain. "Yeah… I'm fine…"

A sigh filled the room, Ukitake freezing as he heard it. "You know what… I can help you with all of this. You've been overworking…"

Ukitake's dark eyes made immediate contact with those of the 6th Division captain. "No I haven't."

"I've been with you in this office everyday, I know you've been overworking, and I'm here to help you stop," he looked out the window. "Besides, we need to know what Kyouraku is up to anyway… he worries me…"

"He's not as bad as you think," another cry was made upon deaf ears as Ukitake pleaded to Kuchiki Byakuya. "You make him out to be some sort of monster. He's not by any means…"

"I've already ordered my division to be on the watch for the 8th Division and any of their suspicious activity," Kuchiki looked deeper into Ukitake's eyes. "You may trust him, but I don't. I don't trust a man who says that he's going to rip a captain's chest apart…"

"It's his own personal justice," Ukitake breathed as he looked back down at his work, trying to block out the disgust within the younger captain. "He's doing what he feels he has to…"

"_Justice_? You think that's _justice_. That is the farthest thing from justice I have ever witnessed. How can you call murdering a captain _justice_? Hisagi Shuuhei has committed no crime, yet Kyouraku feels he needs to punish him for all that Aizen has ever committed to us. Treason, murder, rape: all of the crimes now Hisagi's burden to bear and the rest of the captains are going to sit there and let it all happen."

"And surrounding the 8th Division with men is going to give you the satisfaction that you need?" Ukitake watched as Kuchiki's defenses refused to drop.

"In case you've forgotten, one of Aizen's crimes was committed against me, one of his most brutal crimes. I just want justice for what I've lost… _nothing_ else. The man who did this to me is the one who is going to be punished, _no one_ else," Kuchiki's voice was low as it shook uncontrollably. "Don't you feel the same toward Yamamoto-soutaichou? Don't you feel the need to have justice in his name?"

"Of course I do… I want the same amount of justice as you do. He took my sensei from me… he took my lieutenant… he almost killed Kyouraku… he almost took _my_ life. He took everything that I held dear to my heart. I feel the same pain as you do…" the soutaichou looked deeper into Kuchiki's eyes. "I know you're bitter, but don't hold it against Kyouraku, he's a good man…"

Kuchiki nodded his head, a sarcastic smile across his face. "I'll agree when the reports say that there have been no illicit activities, until then… I can't trust him…"

Ukitake though deeper about the whole situation, Kuchiki Byakuya was a force to be reckoned with. Deep within his heart, he desperately hoped that Kyouraku wasn't planning anything to that degree. He desperately hoped that the innocence that he remembered was back to stay.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Rukia stood outside the house as he looked up to the sky. _I can feel you Renji, even if you aren't with me, I can feel you right next to me. _She took a deep breath as she heard footsteps come closer to her, her eyes moving over her shoulder to see who it was.

"You know, you really do have a lot of nerve doing this," Ichigo sighed as he looked to the sky, trying to see what she was looking at.

"What makes you say that?" Rukia was still absorbed in her thoughts.

"Coming here, and rushing me out of my home to go where you want me to," he looked over at her, her attention moving to look at him. "What the hell is going on there? What's the rush?"

Rukia sighed as she looked deeper into Ichigo's eyes. "Renji comes back from war tomorrow…"

"Renji's at war?" Ichigo was silent for about three seconds before speaking again. "Why didn't you call me sooner?"

Rukia sighed. "I don't know…"

Ichigo still was shocked at the word war. "Renji can't handle Aizen all by himself…"

At that moment, Rukia thought it was important to let him in on a small amount of information. "Aizen's dead, Ichigo…"

Ichigo shook his head. "What? H-how?"

"Long story…"

She thought back to everything that happened that night. The turning point for Ichimaru, the point where Aizen threw him away, discarded him as soft hearted. The turning point for Tousen, the moment where Suzumushi pierced through Hisagi's chest, the pain day the world changed forever. And most importantly, the moment where Shinsou went through Aizen's stomach, fatally wounding him, finally killing him. She wanted to explain that night, the aftermath, what happened in the 9th Division, but she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to give him the information on the three traitors, she couldn't find her voice.

"With Aizen dead what's the issue?" Ichigo shrugged his shoulders.

"We're not a hundred percent sure if he's alive or dead. It's hard to tell, but to give us hope, we assume he is," she looked over at him.

"And you sent Renji into the war zone? Alone?"

"He's not alone! And don't underestimate them! They've done everything that they can in Hueco Mundo, they're coming back to us…" she closed her eyes tightly as she looked away from him. "After months of fighting, they're coming back to us, and with you with us, we'll be unstoppable…"

"What do you need me for? Just tell me, Rukia. What's going on?"

"There have been countless tragedies, endless war, and bottomless heartache. The land that you knew, the Soul Society that you remember no longer exists. You'll find that it has become twisted, dark, vile…" she looked into his eyes, watching his body freeze. "To fully grasp this situation, I need to take you to the soutaichou…"

"There's not other way to stop this?" Ichigo's voice was somber, something alien to his personality

"We've been trying for months, no matter what, we keep falling apart…"

Ichigo sighed. "Then we have to go now. Only God knows what's going to happen if I continue to let you take care of this by yourselves. You're all useless without me," he looked forward. "I'll gather the gang, we're leaving tonight…"

Rukia looked forward as she remembered the words she and her brother had exchanged.

"_If I do this… I want you to promise me that you will never send me on a mission alone with Ichigo…"_

_I promise…"_

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi stared blankly into the night sky as he held Kyouka Suigetsu in his hand. The power was oozing out of it, the evil stench of Aizen. His fingers burned as he touched the sword, hearing the words roll through his head, his body shuddering as he could feel the breath on his neck, that man wrapping his hands around his neck.

"_You're forgetting something: that heart was once in my chest and it's also the reason why you've been able to advance this far. Face it; you're nothing without me…"_

He closed his eyes tightly as he thought of those words, remembering the look on Aizen's face as he said it. His whole body shook as he tried to hold back his emotions, trying his hardest not to throw the sword into the distance of Hueco Mundo. Those words haunted him, slowly killing him.

_. "I also hoped that you would forgive me if I gave it to you… I did some horrible things to you. I played with you, I almost killed you, I abandoned you, I lied to you, I don't deserve any sort of forgiveness, but I want it anyway. I know that I'm selfish, but I truly am sorry…"_

"What have you made me? What did you do to me?"

"_The more you use it, the more you become like me…"_

He closed his eyes as he felt the pain roll through his chest, Kyouka Suigetsu falling to the sand as he doubled over in agony, his emotions taking him over. No matter what he did, no matter what he wanted, he was always going to be a beat. He was nothing more than Aizen's puppet. He looked at the sword, remembering the day that his life ended. He could still feel Suzumushi in his chest; he could still feel the blood pouring from his body. He grasped the hilt tighter as he recalled the way that he played God that day; he was supposed to be dead.

He pulled the sword out of the sheath as he watched it glisten in the moonlight. The beauty of Kyouka Suigetsu had never struck him before, but as he looked at the metal it called to him again. His hands shook as he brought the blade closer to his body as he heard voices go through his head. They he ignored all of them as he looked at the blade, pulling his body off of the ground.

_Kyouraku wants me dead anyway… maybe this could save him the trouble… maybe this could save the world. One quick movement, one single strike of Kyouka Suigetsu and this could all be over. I don't belong here. I was never meant to live this way. I'm dead anyway… they don't see me…_

He then dropped the sword to the ground. "I can't do it… I'm too selfish… I can't… I tried…"

His eyes looked to the sky as he tried to catch his breath, his body feeling heavy under the pressure. He looked to the sky, his memories bombarding him with every passing moment. He wasn't supposed to die here. He had a purpose. He had a reason to live. He was the chosen one. As those thoughts passed his mind, he looked over at Kyouka Suigetsu again; its lust for his blood was not to be quenched.

He heard footsteps come closer to him. "Hisagi-san, are you alright?"

He looked up to see Renji standing above him. "Yeah, just needed a little fresh air…" his eyes looked deeper into the stars above him.

"You don't look alright to me…" Renji moved to sit next to him, noticing the sword on the ground. "What's going on in your head?"

Hisagi could feel the tears in his eyes as he thought back to the moment where he saw Aizen standing before him, to the moment where everything had started falling apart. With every heart beat, every breath, he felt that man still inside of him, suffocating him to no end. His hands were around his neck cutting off his oxygen supply.

"If that man was Aizen…" Hisagi's voice shook. "Then maybe Kyouraku is right…"

"No…" Renji grabbed Hisagi's shoulder. "You're not giving up on me now," he looked down at the sword, his words burning with anger. "You were trying to end it weren't you? You were trying to kill yourself?"

"You don't understand…" Hisagi's voice raised an octave as he looked over at the 13th Division captain. "The pain of living the way that I am, it only got worse when that man came back…"

"But you don't know if he is back," Renji's grip tightened on the 9th Division captain. "I swear to the Heavens, Hisagi Shuuhei, I swear that if I ever see you raise a sword against yourself again, I will kick your ass so hard… if I ever see you with this look in your eyes again… I'll break your neck!"

Hisagi shook his head. "Being here, being where it all happened, being where Tousen was so long ago. I need to get out of here as soon as possible," he moved to wipe the trace of a tear from his left eye, Renji not noticing. "Abarai, I…"

"You'll get out of here, okay… and everything's going to be fine. You'll be back in a world where everything's okay again. You'll have Kira to lean on," a smile formed on Renji's face. "You won't have to shoulder it alone…"

Hisagi looked into the starry sky as he took a deep breath. _Only a few more hours here, and then I'll return to you… Kira… and then you can save me from this…_

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira walked into the 5th Division, his eyes falling on the captain as she sat alone at her desk. "I need to talk to you," his voice was quiet, but full of a serious tone that was completely unlike him.

"What about, Kira-kun?" she looked up from her work.

"Hisagi-san…" he breathed.

She rolled her eyes at the comment. "Hisagi-san, it's always about Hisagi-san with you. Everything you do has to do with Hisagi-san, because you love Hisagi-san so much… I've heard it all before," she looked back down at the papers. "I don't have any time for you to explain to me why you should have him… you won… accept it."

Kira shook his head, his body filling with confusion. "Why did you want Hisagi-san in the first place, Hinamori-kun?"

She looked up at him with a sour giggle. "Don't tell me you're still bitter about me not wanting to be with you…" her eyes moved away from the 3rd Division captain, not wanting to look at the look of confusion on his face. "You know how I feel about you, Kira-kun; you're nothing more than an impotent, insufficient, backstabbing man…"

"This has nothing to do with me… not _just_ me anyway. It has to do with why we're hurting the same man?" Kira looked into her eyes as if begging her to answer him. "Why are we doing this?"

She didn't need any time to answer. "Because we both lost someone we love, and he has qualities that those men had. He was there for me, just like Aizen always was, and he made you feel special, needed, loved, just like Ichimaru always did…" she stood up from her chair.

"He's not a surrogate Ichimaru…" Kira spat his venomous words at her, but she didn't stop taunting him.

"_Isn't he_? Until recently you wanted nothing to do with him. Until recently you avoided him, forgot about him. You didn't even know that he was hurting. The whole time he was in pain, you did nothing to save him, you just stood there and you watched him drown…"

"Don't you think I wanted to help him? Don't you think that I wanted to be there for him? It keeps me up at night when I think of what he was doing to himself, it keeps me up when I think about how I didn't do anything until the blade…" he swallowed those words, unable to say them. "Until he…" the memories of Tousen's tears was still fresh in his mind. "Until I almost lost him forever…"

"I was there for him the whole way. I was there to hold his head up late at night when he thought noting was left. I was there when he was drowning his sorrows in alcohol. I was even there for him after he kissed you. I have always been there for him, while you find him nothing more than a convenience… you're only falling for him because he's the only obtainable man here…"

Kira's heart broke as she said those words, his voice shaking as he answered her. "Hinamori-kun, why do you want to hurt me like this?"

"Because you hurt me…" she roared. "You made me feel so useless that I have to pretend I don't have feelings for him. I have to spend my days with Hitsugaya-kun, who I love dearly, and think of a man that once made me feel whole. A man that I once thought was my _everything_…" her voice broke. "You made me run away from that…"

"I made you sleep with Hitsugaya? Real intelligent, Hinamori-kun," he scoffed, his voice toxic. "You did what you did because you wanted to. You don't give a shit about Hisagi-san. The only reason you're still hanging on to him, the only reason you didn't turn away is because you want Aizen back. That heart in his chest is the _only _reason you want him," he could feel the tears forming in his eyes. "Why don't you just give him up?"

"You sound just like Hitsugaya-kun. I finally had something of my own, and you catch him by the lips at a party. You're a whore, Kira Izuru. You are a two-timing, impotent, backstabbing whore!" her words pierced through him, his heart breaking as she continued to assault him with her cries.

Kira took a deep breath. "You don't get it, do you? Hisagi is the _only_ one who believed in me when I wanted to be a captain. He was the _only_ one who supported me while Ichimaru was gone. He has always been there for me, and for once I wanted to be something in his eyes. I wanted to be something that could match his caliber…"

"Do you think that you accomplished that? Do you really think that you're someone who is of Hisagi Shuuhei's caliber? If you do, if you think that you can love and respect him with all of your heart, then you go to him…" her voice was thick with malice, her eyes watering as the emotions overtook her. "He deserves better than me, and if you're anything like me, someone who will throw him aside when the first storm hits, you have no business with him, _Kira-taichou_."

Kira looked into the distance of the night sky, his body freezing as he thought it through. He knew that everything that she said, she fully believed. He felt the tears roll down his cheeks as he looked at the ground, his body getting chills. As the emotions took over him, he knew that one thing was true. He was never going to be good enough for Hisagi Shuuhei. He was never going to be the one to save him from drowning, no matter how he tried. At that moment he knew that it was over, all of his dreams were shattered before him.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ukitake walked to the 8th Division, his heart sinking as he remembered what Kuchiki had said. Around this building were now the men that we supposed to keep a watch on Captain Kyouraku Shunsui and Lieutenant Ise Nanao. He took a deep breath as he walked into the building, his veins filling with ice as he remembered the last few times he and Kyouraku had talked: they were brief, surface talks, not like the deep ones that he had remembered having. His heart stopped beating as he watched the lieutenant walk out of the office.

"Ukitake-soutaichou," Nanao gasped. "I didn't expect to see you here so late…"

"I thought I'd talk to your captain, if he'll have me, Ise…" Ukitake looked through the doorway.

The lieutenant took a deep breath. "I'm not sure that's such a wise idea…" she looked deep into the captain-commander's eyes, her gaze hiding something, making him feel uneasy, putting him at unease with her words. "He's been on edge lately, you understand…"

"I do…" Ukitake breathed as he looked at the lieutenant, his heart stopping as he tried to dissect her movements. "When he'll have me, tell him that he can come to the 1st Division. There are several matters I need to discuss with him…"

"I'll give him the message," the lieutenant turned to walk into the office as Ukitake turned away.

He looked around the division as he walked by seeing the 6th Division watching the front door, waiting for Kyouraku to do something wrong. He sighed as he realized that the man that he had once known, the man that he had once shared everything with was now someone who could not be trusted anymore. He closed his eyes tightly as he realized the end of one war was the dawn of another. The innocence that he had craved was once again put on hold.

* * *

This is the long awaited fourth part of the _Falling Petals _universe. This is the start of more drama than you ever thought possible, this one being the most heartwrencing out of the four parts (and _Falling Petals _was really intense!)

I highly recommend that you read _Falling Petals_,_ Kaleidoscope_, and_ Dead and Gone _first.

Like what you read, feel free to PM me a request (see profile for details.)

Also feel free to review.


	2. Chapter 2

**Pairings:** Ichigo x Rukia, Renji x Rukia, Hisagi/Kira, Hisagi x Hinamori, Hitsugaya x Hinamori, and slight Hisagi x Matsumoto  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, language, some sexual content, and talk of suicide. Not to mention any errors that I may have left.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach, **Tite Kubo does.

* * *

"So once we get there, you're telling me that everything's going to be different?" Ichigo asked as he looked over at Rukia.

Rukia looked at the humans that were standing behind her, none of them had changed, all of them standing before her in the same fashion that she had remembered them. The memories came back as she looked at the four of them, remembering the time where she was stationed here, the time when they had broken into the Soul Society, saving her from execution, the time where the three captains had betrayed them. All of the memories rushed to her as she tried to lock them away.

She was happy now. She knew she was happy. She had finally found love in a man who she had thought had given up on her. As she looked at Ichigo, she knew that there was nothing there. She didn't have feelings for him. But the deeper she looked at him, the more the memories came back to her, the memories of the former 13th Division lieutenant. She closed her eyes as she thought about Renji, thinking about how deeply he felt about her. He was everything that she needed. He was everything that she wanted.

"More or less," she answered as she looked forward.

"Is it better or worse?" Ishida asked, concerned about the state of the Soul Society. "You make it sound like it's a savage land that we won't recognize…"

"You won't…everything that you knew, everything that you held dear is now all changed," she looked over at the Quincy, watching his eyes grow wide. "Don't fret, Ishida, it's not a war zone."

"You make it sound like the Apocalypse," Chad breathed.

"It's not…" Rukia answered, her voice quiet. "It's just different…"

Orihime took a deep breath. "What about Ichimaru Gin and Tousen Kaname? Are they still at large?"

Rukia took a deep breath as she thought back to the day when the two of them helped them to defeat Aizen. The pain that was apparent in the two captain's actions. The look of betrayal that was upon Ichimaru's face as Aizen dumped him. She remembered the last sword fight that occurred between the two of them before Aizen's apparent death. She remembered the pain that rolled through Tousen as he came to the battle, Hisagi Shuuhei's blood fresh and warm on his sword. The description that Renji had given her hours later was still within her mind as he tried to imagine what the execution of Aizen was like. Both Tousen and Ichimaru had nothing to do with that man anymore.

"No," she breathed as she looked forward.

"So you got them?" Ishida asked.

"Kind of…"

She remembered the last day that the two men were there, the last moments of their existence in the Soul Society. The sorrow within them was still on her skin as she felt their loss. The two men had run off into the distance together, not to be seen for months. She looked forward as she knew that wasn't the last that she was going to see of the two of them.

"We're going?" Ichigo asked. "You said that this world was different. I want to see what you've done to that place… besides I have a bone to pick with Renji…"

Rukia looked forward as the gate opened, the five of them walking forward, everything that they knew, everything that they held dear, was about to be torn asunder as they saw the new Soul Society.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"I know you're excited to get out of here," Renji breathed as he watched Hisagi stare into the night sky. "God knows that you've become nothing but a suicidal wreck in the last week…"

Hisagi took a deep breath as he looked back at the younger captain. "Abarai, I want you to know that what happens in Hueco Mundo is going to stay in Hueco Mundo. You tell anyone about what you saw me try to do and I will massacre you…"

Renji rolled his eyes. "You had a sword pointed at your chest, Hisagi-san…"

Hisagi moved closer to him. "You will _not _tell anyone what happened. You will _not _tell them about Aizen. Understand?"

Renji stared wide-eyed. "Are you alright? Why are you so tense?"

Hisagi closed his eyes as he remembered that burning body, the eyes looking up at him as the kidou burned away at it. His heart stopped as he remembered those words. No matter what he did, he was unable to shake that man's presence off of him. He took a deep breath as he could still taste his blood on his tongue, his stomach churning as he remembered the sensation.

"Are you going to be sick?" Renji asked, staring at Hisagi's paling complexion. "You look awful…"

Hisagi looked out into the night sky. "I don't know…"

"You want to hold off going back another day?" Renji asked. "I mean, we have ten hours left, we can make it twenty-four…"

"No," Hisagi breathed, his voice thick with fear. "We're going back right now?"

"Right now? I don't think we're allowed to go back that early?" Renji asked.

"I'm the one who opens garganta. I'm the one who will decide when we go back. We need to leave now," he closed his eyes as felt another wave of pain going through his chest, the urge to vomit filling his body. "I can't be here anymore…"

Renji moved to put a hand on his shoulder. "Hisagi-san! Are you sure you're alright?"

Hisagi looked into the sand and stars, his body feeling heavy as he wondered if Aizen was still watching him, waiting for the moment to steal what was his. He swallowed hard as he could feel those eyes on him. He shuddered as could feel those hands getting closer to him, those toxic words in his ear. At that moment, Hisagi knew that Hisagi was in pain.

Renji then stood up. "We're leaving now… I'll inform everyone. You just stay here and try to get a hold on yourself."

Hisagi looked down into the sand as he closed his eyes tightly, sweat forming on his body as another wave of pain went through his body. His body tensed as he ran his hand through the sand as his muscles shook. He couldn't live here anymore; he couldn't handle the pressure that Aizen had put on him. He was very much alive, and he was out for his head, or rather, his heart.

"I have to get out of here," he breathed as he looked up at the moon, his eyes sparkling with tears of pain. "I can't live like this…" he felt another wave of pain that almost pinned him to the ground. "I have to get out of here…" he grasped the necklace around his neck as he looked deeper at the moon. "Rangiku-san…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Shuuhei's coming back today," Matsumoto breathed as she looked over at her captain. "You can at least pretend to be excited…"

Hitsugaya scoffed. "Excited? Without him here we actually get crap done…"

"You're just saying that because you don't want him to come back and sweep Hinamori off of her feet…" Matsumoto smiled as he pressed her hands to the desk. "I know you, taichou, you're jealous of Hisagi Shuuhei?"

"I'm not jealous…" he scoffed yet again, Matsumoto smiling wider.

"Oh sure, sure, I mean, who could be jealous of him, right?" she turned and walked away from the desk. "He's only taller, more muscular, older, prettier, and sweeter than you. I don't know how in God's Kingdom, you could be jealous of him…"

Hitsugaya looked up at her. "Then why don't you sleep with him if he's _so _amazing at _everything_?"

"You know I can't sleep with him, taichou. You know that," she looked out the window. "It's weird how thing have changed for him. He left when he was with Hinamori, and now when he comes back she's going to be gone away from him."

"She wasn't happy…" Hitsugaya still looked down at his work.

"And now there's Kira," she took a deep breath. "I think it's for the better this way… I think that Kira's in love with him…" she watched as he captain looked up at her. "I seriously think that he's in love with him."

"How do you know this?"

"He told me…" Matsumoto breathed as she looked at her captain. "Why?"

"Is Hisagi in love with Kira?" the captain asked.

"I don't know… maybe…" Matsumoto was confused. "Why do you ask? What are you trying to do?"

Hitsugaya stood up and looked out the window. "If Kira loves Hisagi and Hisagi were to love Kira, then Hinamori would no longer feel indebted to him. She could free herself of the chains that she has wrapped around her body. She could finally free herself from her suffering."

Matsumoto sighed as she looked at the floor. "Taichou…"

She knew that the world that both Hisagi and Renji knew was torn apart. They were going to come back to a world that was completely alien, and she knew that the change was going to destroy Hisagi. She closed her eyes as she hoped that Kira could be his saving grace. She hoped that Kira could save him from the sorrow. There was no other way to rescue him.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ichigo walked through the gate, his eyes wide as he looked around at the world that was before him. This was nothing like the world that he had once known. The agony was apparent even in the atmosphere. He looked to the left and then to the right as he could smell the bloodshed that had occurred. The sky was darker than he remembered; the scenery was quieter than he remembered. He closed his eyes as he tried to block it all out, trying his hardest to think of what used to be. Desperately he wanted to go back to then, back to the innocence.

He looked up and saw the captain that was standing before him, a familiar face. He watched as Kuchiki Byakuya stood before him with a sorrowful look on his face. Underneath his eyes were dark circles, his skin looking even paler than usual. He looked worn out, tired, broken. He looked deeper into the captain's eyes as he knew this was not the man that he had remembered.

"Byakuya?" Ichigo asked as he walked closer to the captain. "What the hell happened to you?"

Kuchiki looked up, a small smile on his face. "Kurosaki Ichigo," he breathed, his voice almost quiet.

Ichigo looked to Kuchiki's side as he saw someone he never thought he would see in his presence. There stood Ayasegawa Yumichika, the man looking at his captain with sad eyes as he heard the brokenness that was in his voice. He didn't look all that much better; he looked worn out, broken, dead. The two of them looked like they had been dragged into the pits of hell and then they were regurgitated to stand before them.

"What are you doing here, Yumichika?" Ichigo asked.

Kuchiki took a deep breath. "He's my lieutenant now, Ichigo…"

Ichigo shook his head. "But Renji… you fired Renji?"

Kuchiki looked over at Rukia. "What did you tell him I did to Renji, Rukia?"

Rukia looked at Ichigo. "Ichigo, Renji was promoted to captain of the 13th Division, Ayasegawa is now the lieutenant of the 6th Division… and I'm the lieutenant of the 13th Division…"

Ichigo shook his head. "You're a lieutenant? Renji's a captain? What the hell?" he looked over at Kuchiki. "Well at least Aizen didn't get his hands on Byakuya…"

Kuchiki flinched as those words, closing his eyes. "At least you can be thankful for that…" he looked over at Rukia. "You're mission is accomplished, you may now proceed to the captain commander now…" he turned to walk forward.

Ichigo looked over at Yumichika. "What about the 11th Division?"

"I was kicked out…" Yumichika answered as he looked into Ichigo's eyes. "When I was let go, Kuchiki-taichou was kind enough to take me in. He told me that I had something that he always wanted in the 6th Division. I guess he thought that I was comparable to Renji since we spent a lot of time together in the 11th Division."

Ichigo walked alongside the lieutenant. "And why am I here?"

"I can't spoil the surprise…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi walked through garganta as he looked around the field in the Soul Society. He took a deep breath as the pain as finally stopped within his chest. The innocence that he had once loved was filling his body again. He closed his eyes as the breeze rolled across his face, his body tensing as he felt Renji's hand on his shoulder.

"Beautiful isn't it?" he asked as he looked to the sky. "No more eternal night, finally some sun…"

Hisagi took a deep breath. "I need to get to the 3rd Division…" he looked across the blowing grass of the field. "I've waited so long, almost too long to come back here for him…"

"So Kira is the one that you choose…" Renji smirked.

"Of course he is…" Hisagi swallowed hard. "I love him…"

Renji froze in place as he heard those words. "You're what? In love?" a smile formed on his lips as he looked at the other captain. "You're in love with him," he chuckled. "Holy shit…"

"I feel like an idiot…"

"Idiot? You're in love with him, Hisagi-san…" Renji pulled his hand away from his shoulder. "There's nothing idiotic about it. If you want to know what's idiotic… try being madly in love with someone and for fifty years trying to convince yourself that they still could have feelings for you. That's idiotic, but if that can end in love, then yours can too…"

Hisagi walked through the field, the small number of men left following them. He looked down at the buildings of the Soul Society knowing that this was the moment of his rebirth. After months of thinking, after months of debating, he had finally found out the man that he wanted to be. He walked deeper into the Soul Society as he knew that everything had changed, even him.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ichigo looked around as they walked into the 1st Division; everything seemed to be calmer in this particular building. He looked around as he watched Kuchiki walk through the door into the room where the soutaichou was. Expecting to see Yamamoto, Ichigo was taken aback as he looked at who was sitting at the desk in the middle of the room. It was not Yamamoto.

"Ukitake-soutaichou…" Kuchiki announced as he walked deeper into the room to stand behind Ukitake who was sitting at the desk.

Ukitake looked different than how he had remembered him. He remembered him being pale; he remembers his dark eyes looking tired, almost lifeless. Yet as he looked at him now he saw color in his skin, his eyes looking lively, robust, this was not the man that he had remembered. Ichigo took a deep breath as the man stood up.

"Kurosaki Ichigo-kun," he smiled as he looked at the human. "I'm so glad that you've arrived…" he looked over Ichigo's shoulder. "You've even brought your friends…"

"Forgive me, Ukiake-soutaichou…" Rukia bowed in his presence. "It was the only way that he would come here with me…"

"I'm not angry…" he looked over his shoulder at Kuchiki. "Byakuya… have you told him why he's here?"

Kuchiki shook his head, Ichigo raising an eyebrow. "I have not…"

Ukitake sighed as he looked at the humans' confusion. "You probably have a lot of questions…"

"What happened to Yamamoto-soutaichou?" Orihime asked.

"Is Aizen really not dead?" Ishida asked.

"Why did you need Ichigo to come here?" Chad asked.

"And why the hell is Kuchiki listening to you like he's your freaking lapdog?" Ichigo pointed at the 6th Division captain.

Ukitake was now ready to answer questions. "Genryuusei-dono was murdered by Aizen. On that night, we suffered many loses… no… in that _time frame_ we suffered many loses. Before that night, Kuchiki here was stabbed through the lung, put into a coma for weeks. Kyouraku Shunsui was also attacked only weeks after," he took a deep breath. "But that night, Aizen was able to kill Genryuusei-dono, Sasakibe-fukutaichou, and he almost killed me as well…"

"But you survived?" Ishida asked. "If it could kill the previous captain commander, why were you saved?"

"When Yamamoto-soutaichou was poisoned, he was then brutally torn asunder by Aizen's sword," Ukitake closed his eyes as he took a deep breath, Ichigo's body freezing. "I was cured by Tousen Kaname and Ichimaru Gin…"

"They betrayed Aizen?" Ichigo asked.

"Ichimaru Gin was cast aside by Aizen," Kuchiki looked at the human, his eyes filled with sorrow. "He is the only reason that the damage that Aizen caused was so minimal…" he looked down at Ukitake. "He's the only reason that Ukitake-soutaichou is still alive now… and then there was Tousen…"

"How did you get _him_ on your side?" Orihime was curious.

"Hisagi Shuuhei…" Ukitake breathed. "He was stabbed through the chest with Tousen's sword… that moment was the moment that turned his life around. He realized that the path that he thought was the safest for his lieutenant was the complete opposite. It took him shedding blood that he had cared deeply about to turn him back to our side…"

"As for Aizen, he was stabbed by Ichimaru…" Kuchiki shook his head. "But we're not completely sure that act really finished him off, or if it was just an act. Aizen was always a step ahead of us… he might have had a plan, knowing that Ichimaru would betray him…"

"So you're not sure if he's dead?" Ishida asked, his voice thick with frustration. "This is a man who killed the captain commander, you think it's wise to just sit here and wait for another attack."

"We're not sitting and waiting, _Quincy_," Kuchiki hissed as he looked straight at Ishida. "You try fighting something that you can't see. He's been missing for months, we've been searching for any remains, but the team from Hueco Mundo hasn't returned yet, we don't expect them for another few hours."

Ichigo chuckled. "And you brought me here to solve your problem…"

Ukitake raised an eyebrow. "Where did you get that idea?"

"Why else would you bring me here?" Ichigo saw a smile roll across Kuchiki face as he tried to hold back laughter.

"You're not here to be a _savior_, Kurosaki," Kuchiki breath, his voice full of belittlement. "You're here to be a _lieutenant_…"

Ichigo froze right then and there as he heard those words, his body freezing as he looked into Kuchiki's eyes. "Lieutenant?"

"Of the 9th Division…" Ukitake announced as he looked at the shocked expression on Ichigo's face.

"Does that mean that Hisagi Shuuhei…" Ishida's words trailed off as he couldn't finish his sentence. "That night you said he was stabbed. Did Tousen…?"

Ukitake shook his head. "No, Hisagi-kun is very much alive…" he looked at the Quincy and then at Ichigo. "He's going to be your captain, Kurosaki-kun…"

Ichigo closed his eyes tightly as he thought about the whole situation. "When do I become a lieutenant…?"

"Tonight…" Ukitake breathed as he sat back down. "You are now dismissed. Hisagi-taichou will explain more once you two are together. Good work Kuchiki-fukutaichou…"

As Ichigo was about to leave, he heard a voice call out to him. "And I'm not his lapdog, Kurosaki," Kuchiki walked closer to him. "I'm the next soutaichou… if anything were to happen to Ukitake, I'm going to take his place…"

Ichigo shook his head as he walked out of the room, looking at Rukia as she walked deeper into the hallway. A smile rolled across his face as he knew that the two of them were finally together again, all of the sorrow and emptiness that he had felt was now all disappearing before him. He knew that he was finally whole again, now that he was with her.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi walked into the 9th Division office, taking a deep breath as he moved closer to the desk. All of the pain that he had been through was starting to disappear as he moved toward the desk, his breath catching in his throat. He closed his eyes tightly as he looked down at his hands, seeing the scar that was on his wrist where he had been bitten by the beasts. He closed his eyes as he moved closer to the desk, looking at the drawers.

He dug through them and found a pair of fingerless black gloves, he couldn't show any sign of being bitten by those beasts, the only one who knew was Renji, he wanted to keep it that way. He slid the gloves on his hands, the glove running half way up his forearm, covering the marks that were along his arms.

"I can't show any weak points," he closed his eyes tightly as he dropped Kyouka Suigetsu to the ground, looking at the paperwork that was on the desk. "Well… looks like it back to work now…"

He closed his eyes as he looked down at the desk, hearing footsteps coming toward the door. As the door opened he saw the face of a man that he never thought he'd see in the Soul Society ever again. He fell against the desk as their eyes met.

"Kurosaki Ichigo?" he asked as he looked at the boy. "What are you doing here?"

Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "You're not supposed to be here. You're supposed to be in Hueco Mundo…"

"Well you're supposed to be in the world of the living, so I guess we're both somewhere we're not supposed to be…" Hisagi moved to sit at the desk. "What brings you to the 9th Division?"

Ichigo took a deep breath as he looked at his captain. "I'm your new lieutenant…"

"_Lieutenant_?" he laughed as he looked down at the paperwork. "So they finally realized that I'm going out of my mind with work…" he looked up at Ichigo. "So… are you ready to be a lieutenant?"

"I heard it's tough… that's what Rukia told me…" Ichigo looked directly at the scar that was on Hisagi's chest.

"It's not that tough," Hisagi breathed as he looked down at the paperwork. "You're in the right division if you don't want someone to breathe down your neck the whole time. I've managed this division by myself ever since Tousen left; you're here for support…"

"Support?" Ichigo asked, his eyes still on the scar, Hisagi not wasting any time avoiding the subject.

"I was stabbed through the chest by my former captain, it severely damaged my heart… actually more like it was _destroyed_…" he took a deep breath as he looked up at Ichigo. "I was then given a new heart… which is why the tension is so high in the Soul Society…"

Ichigo shook his head. "How could a heart transplant cause so much hysteria…?"

"It wasn't the fact that I've been given a heart transplant…" he looked up into the lieutenant's eyes. "It's the fact that I was given Aizen Sousuke's heart…" he could feel the shock that was on Ichigo's face. "It's given me tremendous ability. Sixty percent of his power was given to me, which included control over Kyouka Suigetsu…"

"You can use Kyouka Suigetsu?"

"I am a master of Kyouka Suigetsu: shikai, bankai, I can do it all… and due to my new reiatsu, the bankai of my original zanpakutou was easy to obtain," he looked up at Ichigo. "So you see, I'm the reason why everyone thinks Aizen is still alive. I'm the reason that this hysteria is still occurring…"

Ichigo scoffed. "And that's supposed me make me hate you?"

"It worked for everyone else," Hisagi breathed as he ran his fingers along the necklace that was around his neck. "Yet you're not everyone else, are you…" a smile rolled across his face as he looked at the human. "I think that I'm going to like you…"

Ichigo nodded. "I hope you do…"

Hisagi looked out the window into the outside world as he knew that life was already turning around for him. For once in his life, he knew that Aizen was wrong. He was something without him. That was a dream that he wished would not be broken before his eyes.

* * *

This chapter was to more of a recap for Ichigo to understand what is going on in the Soul Society (i know pretty boring for you) but I didn't want one of those "BAM! Ichigo knows everything even though nobody told him what was going on!" moments. And the chapters after this will be a lot more interesting as we have the return of the dreaded Kira/Hisagi/Hinamori love triangle.

The next chapter is going to have the first appearance of the Renji/Rukia/Ichigo love triangle, as well as have Orihime meet Ichigo's captain (and it's not going to be pretty.)

Like what you read, feel free to PM me a request (see profile for details.)

Also feel free to review.


	3. Chapter 3

**Pairings:** Ichigo x Rukia, Renji x Rukia, Hisagi/Kira, reference to Hisagi x Hinamori, and some Hisagi x Orihime  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, some sexual content, and talk of suicide. Not to mention any errors that I may have left (my editor probably missed some).  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach, **Tite Kubo does.

* * *

_He's back after all this time, _Kira closed his eyes as he felt Hisagi's reiatsu return to him. He took a deep breath as he relished in the sensation of the captain coming back to him, his body being set aflame. He closed his eyes tighter as he knew what he had to do now that he was back, he had to pretend that there were no feelings for him within Kira's body; he had to pretend that he didn't care for him.

As those thoughts rolled through his mind, he could only think of the kiss that they had shared in the 9th Division, remembering the pressure of Hisagi's body up against his. He could still taste those lips on his, those hands against his flesh. The passion made his stomach churn as he wanted to go back to that moment, to taste him again. His hand tightened around the ink pen as his nerves were set on fire.

He was then broken out of his stupor as a voice came to the door. "Kira-taichou…"

"Yes?" his voice was unnaturally high as the door opened.

"Forgive me, taichou…" Sentarou walked deeper into the office. "I didn't mean to startle you…"

"You didn't startle me, I was just caught daydreaming again…" he smiled as he looked at the lieutenant.

"You've no doubt felt it, Hisagi-taichou is back," Sentarou announced.

"With reiatsu as large and flashy as his I think everyone knows…" Kira's voice trailed off as he could no longer concentrate on his work. "Why hasn't he come here yet?"

"You want him to come here so you can ruin his dreams?" Sentarou asked, Kira looking over at him in shock. "I hear everything you say; I _am_ your lieutenant…"

Kira shook his head. "I guess you're right… I shouldn't say it when we're alone…"

"You shouldn't say it at all. I know how you feel about him, taichou. You can't just let him go that easily. If this was any other man, I'd be on your side. But this is _Hisagi Shuuhei_, he's already had one suicide attempt in his history…"

"That's enough!" Kira slammed his hand to the table, spilling the ink on the floor. "Don't _ever _say that in my presence. Don't _ever _talk about Hisagi-san's suicide attempt when I'm in ear range…" his hands tightened into fists. "I was weak back then… I was too weak to stop him…"

Sentarou's voice was low. "And letting him go, that's not weak?"

"I didn't ask for your opinion…"

"You don't have to, but I'm going to give it to you anyway…" the lieutenant was showing more backbone than usual. "He's already tried to kill himself once, what makes you think that he won't do it again? Especially now, when _everyone _is rejecting him, putting him into a corner to be all by himself, drowning in misery…"

"Shut up!" Kira screamed as tears started to form in his eyes.

"No one is by his side. No one thinks he's worth the dust on his boots. The only person who ever cared about him after the incident was _you_, and now you're throwing him away…"

"Shut up!"

"You think that's strong. You think it takes strength to turn away from him and only look at him again when he has a dagger in his chest…?

Kira threw the papers off of the desk as he looked over at his lieutenant. "Shut the fuck up, Sentarou!" the tears fell violently from his eyes. "Why are you trying to hurt me? Why are you bringing that day up? Why is everyone bringing that day up?" he shook his head as his knees buckled. "I was weak… I wasn't there for him… I'm never there for him… even now I treated him like swine. I struck him. I alienated him. I screamed at him. I've done everything that I wasn't supposed to do. How can you say I'm the only one who cared for him, when I was the first one who threw him away?"

Sentarou shook his head. "You're the one who cares for him…"

"Cares for him? I don't care for him. I don't give a shit about him. That's what everyone's told me. So I don't care about him. I don't deserve him. I should have never kissed him… I'm nothing more than a hideous, two-timing, backstabbing whore!" Kira watched as his tears smudged the ink. "I don't… care…"

Sentarou stared at his captain. "So you're letting go?"

"He deserves better…" Kira closed his eyes tightly as he tried to block out the many moments that they shared.

"Your friendship, everything you've been through… you're going to throw all of that away just because of some words that people said to you? You're going to destroy this man, a man who has fought a war to get back to _you_, not Hinamori, _you_?"

Kira heard those words and he froze in place as he remembered seeing his body right after the heart transplant. He remembered seeing how weak Hisagi looked, barely breathing, his soul bordering another world. On that day he told himself that he was never going to let anything like that happen again. He told himself that he was never going to let Hisagi's emotions get out of hand ever again. Tears formed in his eyes as he remembered the feeling of Hisagi's limp hand in his, feeling the cold nature.

"What else am I supposed to do?" Kira asked. "Tell me what I'm supposed to do…"

"Do what you want to do. Not what you think you should…"

Kira closed his eyes as he heard those words; it was obvious what he had to do.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Renji ran his finger along the scar that was on his neck, still feeling the sting of the poison underneath the skin. The teeth were still applying pressure even now as he slowly felt the blood being sucked out of his body. He closed his eyes tightly as he could still feel the sensations of that moment, his whole world being torn apart in a single instant. He moved to grasp the choker that Hisagi had given him, the words that were said still infecting his mind.

"_Don't show any signs of what happened, any bites you might have, cover them. The last thing we want is them to ask questions of why they don't heal. We don't need that kind of attention. Isane has been instructed to keep her mouth shut, now so have you…"_

Renji moved to fasten it around his neck, covering the bite mark. He closed his eyes as he moved to the desk as he was finally able to put everything that had happened behind him. Although it couldn't be seen, he knew that both he and Hisagi would always know that it was there, no matter what.

"That's all dead and gone, this is a new story…" he breathed as he looked down at the papers on the desk as he sat down to take a deep breath, looking at the ceiling. "Forget about everything that happened there; be brief when anyone asks questions. I didn't forget anything that you said, Hisagi-san…"

He then heard the door open, rolling his eyes. "A lieutenant usually knocks when she knows her captain is present, _Kuchiki-fukutaichou_… I know you've sensed me."

Rukia closed the door behind her. "I know, _Abarai-taichou_…"

He smiled as she walked closer to him. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you missed me…" she moved to run a hand through his hair. "Do I feel real to you? Or am I just another illusion?"

She smiled as her hand tightened in his red hair. "You feel real…" she moved forward to kiss his lips innocently. "You feel real to me…" she kissed his lips softly again. "It's really you this time…"

He kissed her lips softly one more. "Then don't waste this moment…"

He took her lips in a passionate kiss as she moved closer to him, her hand tightening in his hair. He got lost in the intimacy, not feeling her lips in months, not feeling her body close to his. He relished in the sensations as he pulled her closer to him, hearing her purr at the movements of his lips, her body shaking as her hand tightened in his hair.

At that moment, he heard the door open, not being bothered with whoever was there. They didn't exist in his mind; they would have to come back later. Rukia didn't even look over to see who it was either, lost in the passion that was between them.

"Rukia?" Renji separated from Rukia's lips as he heard that voice.

"What the fuck?" Renji asked as he looked into the man's eyes. "Ichigo? What the fuck are you doing here?"

Rukia looked at the human. "Ichigo… go away… I'm kind busy…"

"I'm sorry to catch you making out with your captain, Rukia, but I have something to ask him…" Ichigo walked closer to the desk. "I would like to speak to him alone. It doesn't concern you."

"He's not my just my _captain_, Ichigo," she smiled as she looked into Renji's eyes, the captain smiling back. "He's my _fiancé_… so it does concern me."

"What? How?"

"I asked her to marry me and she said yes," Renji kissed Rukia's lips lightly.

"How could I say no?" Rukia smiled as she ran her hand through Renji's ponytail.

"You flatter me…"

"I know I do…" she smiled wider as she was about to go into another passionate kiss.

Ichigo shook his head. "You didn't tell me that Renji was your fiancé, Rukia. You told me he was your captain… that's it. And now you're engaged? There has to be a reason for this. Are you pregnant?"

Rukia's walked away from Renji turning away from him, the tone of her voice changing as she answered his question, becoming colder, more distant. "No… no I'm not…"

Renji shook his head. "What the hell are you getting at? Ever think that she actually loves me?"

"You're nothing more than an inarticulate, retarded pineapple, nothing more. The thought that she wants to marry you is completely disgusting," Ichigo shook his head. "What do you see in this guy?"

"Well for one, he doesn't ask me stupid questions…" Rukia looked at the other lieutenant. "And I think that you should leave now, _Kurosaki-fukutaichou_…"

Renji shook his head. "_Fukutaichou_?"

"He's become the 9th Division lieutenant…" Rukia explained as she looked at Ichigo.

"9th Division lieutenant? Well in case you haven't noticed, I'm the captain of the 13th Division. Captain is higher up than lieutenant. So now I'm going to order you to get out of my face, or I can call some of my men in to remove you by force…" Renji hissed at Ichigo.

"Marking your territory?" Ichigo asked. "You think you're so great because you sucked Kuchiki Byakuya's dick to get to be this high up. You think you're so great because you were on your knees to the next soutaichou?"

Renji felt the breath stop in his lungs as he heard those words, almost unable to answer him. "Byakuya's the next soutaichou?"

Ichigo stared wide-eyed at the captain. "You didn't know?"

"No," Renji shook his head. "I've been gone for months, you dumb fuck… how the hell am I supposed to know who gets promoted and doesn't?"

Rukia's attention was still on Ichigo. "I think you should leave, Ichigo. You've got some nerve coming in here, insulting my fiancé and my brother. Who the hell do you think you are?"

Renji looked deeper at the interaction between them, his worst fears coming to life as his voice shook. "I think you should leave, Ichigo. _Now_…"

As Ichigo left the room, Renji looked over at Rukia, his heart breaking. "What's wrong Renji?"

He couldn't look at her as the thoughts bombarded him. "Nothing," he breathed as he looked back down at the pile of work. "Nothing at all. I just don't think I should be getting worked up over him. I mean, he's so insignificant…"

"I wouldn't go that far…" she sighed.

"Why not? Do you have feelings for him?" Renji asked, not wanting to bottle his feelings up. "Is that why you brought him back? To make me jealous? We're _engaged_, Rukia, this isn't the time to be making me jealous…"

"What pleasure would I get out of making you jealous? Do you think I enjoy hurting you?" Rukia asked as she looked into her captain's eyes. "I have waited for you to come back for months, I thought you were _dead_, Renji. And you think now that I have you back I want to push you away again?"

"I don't know…" Renji breathed as he looked up at her. "I guess that boy just makes me uncomfortable."

Renji looked at Rukia as the thoughts plagued his mind. It was only a matter of time until his worst nightmares came true. It was at that moment where she knew brining Ichigo to the Soul Society was a mistake.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Where did Kurosaki-kun go?" Orihime asked as she walked through the gate of the 9th Division. "It was the 9th Division that Ukitake-san said he was in. Or was it the 7th? Or the 8th?" she kept walking through to see the many shinigami looking at her, whispering things as she passed. "Maybe I should go see the captain…" she looked around. "Can you tell me who the captain on the 9th Division is? And where I can find him?"

And just like that her question was answered. "I'm the captain of the 9th Division," she looked up to see who was talking to her. "Hisagi Shuuhei, at your service…"

She stared blankly at him. _That's a captain? He doesn't look like a captain. I always thought that captains were supposed to be older, then again Hitsugaya-kun is a captain, but I never expected that this would be Kurosaki-kun's captain…_

"You're Inoue Orihime, right?" Hisagi asked as he looked at her, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"Y-Yes, I am," she looked directly into his eyes unable to say anything else. "I just thought that captains were supposed to be…"

Hisagi smiled. "Yeah, I'm kind of new to the whole captain thing. But I know why you're here. You're here to see Ichigo, am I right?"

"Y-Yes," she answered, her eyes still connected with his.

"He left to go to the 13th Division to talk to Abarai, but you can gladly wait in my office until her comes back…" he turned around and started walking into the building. "It's not wise to be out in the open for too long around the 9th Division…"

Orihime followed him as she walked down the hallways, watching as many shinigami bowed as they greeted their captain. Her eyes looked around as she closed her eyes to sense Hisagi's reiatsu; it was most definitely strong enough to make him a captain level, the very sensation of it almost pushing her to the ground. Hisagi Shuuhei wasn't what she expected to be Ichigo's captain. She never thought that she would ever meet a captain that was so…

"Overwhelming?" he asked as they walked into the office.

"No," she breathed as she watched him sit at the desk. "No… not at all…"

Her eyes fell onto the scar that was on his chest, her mind going back to the moment where they were in the 1st Division. Ukitake told her about what had happened to the former 9th Division lieutenant, how he was stabbed through the chest with the sword of his former captain. As she looked at the scar that was on his chest, she knew that he had noticed his voice shaking as he spoke to her.

"I was a little too hasty that night…" Hisagi explained as he pulled out a bottle of liquor. "I thought that I was dead the second that the sword broke through my bones," he opened the top as he looked over at her. "But I was lucky…"

"I'm sorry…" Orihime bowed her head.

"Why?" Hisagi asked. "You weren't the one who stabbed me…"

"No, I know that… I'm sorry that you have to go through life with that scar on your chest…" she bowed her head. "Does it ever make you feel like everyone's staring at you?"

"Scars or not, everyone's always stared at me…" he smiled, freezing her in place. "But the scar is my way of saying that it's never going to happen again. And through all of this crazy bullshit, it's still me…"

"Why wouldn't you think it was still you…?"

Hisagi sighed. "Since you're going to be with Ichigo for a while, I guess I should tell you," he took a sip from the bottle. "The day when Tousen stabbed me, my heart was severely damaged, torn beyond recognition. I needed a full transplant…"

Orihime shook her head. "What does that have to do with not being you?"

"The heart that I got… was from Aizen Sousuke…" her eyes grew wide. "Currently, I am the holder of sixty percent of his power, as well as the wielder of Kyouka Suigetsu. I have practically all of the powers that Aizen had."

She shook her head. "But Aizen…"

"No one knows whether he died or not that night. After all, he is beating in my chest…" Hisagi placed a gloved hand on his chest as he watched the human stare endlessly at him. "Are you scared?"

Orihime shook her head. "N-No…" she shook her head as she looked at him, her body freezing in place. _What's happening to me? I've never felt like this before. Helpless… like I can't breathe… yet as I look at him, I feel all of those things. There's something about this man, something about Hisagi Shuuhei that makes me feel…_

"You sure?" Hisagi asked as he sighed. "God knows I am…"

"Sometimes I think it's good to be afraid of what you are…"

His eyes lit up. "I feel the same way…" he smiled at her. "It's weird. I've only met one other person that had that mentality…"

"Well now I guess you've met two…" Orihime smiled as she watched his eyes meet hers again, her body freezing as their eyes met.

As Orihime looked at Hisagi taking another sip out of the bottle of alcohol she couldn't take her eyes away from him. The deeper she looked at into his eyes watching him lick the alcohol off of his lips, putting the bottle back on the desk. Their eyes met, unable to take them away from each other as they continued to wait on the missing lieutenant. At that moment, Orihime knew that this was only the beginning of her fascination in the 9th Division.

She shook her head as she changed the subject. "So you were at war?"

He nodded. "Yeah, for the past couple months I was stationed in Hueco Mundo, looking for information on what Aizen had left behind…"

"And that's what tonight's about?" she asked.

"Exactly," he looked down at the bottle of sake. "As well as make Ichigo an official lieutenant…"

She could hear the excitement in his voice. "You sound excited…"

"I'm going to be name a war hero, that's a huge honor," he smiled softly as a small chuckle passed his lips. "And there's something else I have to take care of, something more _personal_…"

Orihime giggled as she heard that. "So captains have personal matters too…"

"Believe it or not, shinigami and humans aren't all that different. You just think we are…" Hisagi closed the bottle, putting it away. "And knowing that, you're welcome to stay in the 9th Division while your services are needed, I insist…"

Orihime stared blankly into his eyes as she heard those words. _I think I'm going to like this guy…_

* * *

I know that the Hisagi x Orihime parts were a little upsetting to all of the Hisagi/Kira fans, but I must say that pairing isn't going to be all that important. And the next chapter is where some Hisagi drama happens (it's pretty major, but this part is going to be like a roller coaster for him.)

I haven't gotten much feedback on this story, but I am posting it becuase a lot of people are reading it!

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request (see profile for details.)

Also feedback is much loved and appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Pairings:** Ichigo x Rukia, Renji x Rukia, Hisagi/Kira, Hisagi x Hinamori, Kira x Hinamori, and a reference to non-con Aizen/Byakuya  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, some sexual content, talk of suicide, violence, and a reference to rape. Not to mention any errors that I may have left (my editor probably missed some, we're working on it).  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach, **Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Ichigo looked in the mirror at how he was dressed, tonight was the night where everything mattered. This was the night where he had to look perfect. Not only was tonight the night where he was being made the lieutenant of his division, but also the night where his division was being honored with a medal of honor due to his captain's participation in the war in Hueco Mundo. He took a deep breath as he straightened out the cloth, his nerves on fire.

"Nervous?" Hisagi asked as he walked up to his lieutenant, a smile upon his face. "I learned what whenever an important day like this comes up, it's good to get a little drunk. It takes the edge off…"

Ichigo looked at the reflection of his captain in the mirror. "You don't seem nervous…"

"I already drank…" Hisagi breathed as he pulled his gloves tighter onto his hands. "This night is mostly about our division after all…"

"But no pressure…" Ichigo whispered.

"Where did you get the idea of pressure?" Hisagi asked as he straightened out his haori. "But before we go, I think I need to explain to you who our allies are, and who our enemies are…"

"We have enemies?" Ichigo shook his head.

"We have a lot of enemies. There's Zaraki Kenpachi, Kurotsuchi Mayuri, Hitsugaya Toushirou, Soifon and the worst of all of our enemies: Kyouraku Shunsui…"

Ichigo couldn't believe the names that he heard. "Kenpachi? Toushirou? They hate us? And Kyouraku?"

"They all want me dead, a lot of them are probably pissed I came back at all. They never wanted anyone to find my body," Hisagi adjusted the choker that was on his neck, as his eyes stared at him in the mirror. "They only wanted me to go so I could disappear and die… they don't think I deserve a chance anymore…"

"And you let them win?" Ichigo asked.

"You ignore them. I have supporters, and I lean on them for everything I need. Our allies are Kira Izuru, Hinamori Momo, Kuchiki Byakuya, Ukitake Juushirou, Komamura Sajin, and Abarai Renji. Those are the ones we can trust, those are the ones that I feel comforted around," his eyes then fell upon the lieutenant. "Those are the people's division you should talk to. All the rest will do nothing but tell you lies…" his eyes fell onto the sleeves on Ichigo's outfit. "Oh and lose the sleeves…"

Ichigo's mouth hung open as he felt his captain pull the sleeves off of his uniform, the only sound he heard was the sound of ripping fabric before he heard his captain throwing them to the ground. "What the…?"

"Much better," Hisagi smiled as he looked at the lieutenant's bare arms. "I like you better like this…"

Ichigo shook his head. "I feel so exposed…"

"You get used to it, 9th Division is always sleeveless…" the captain walked toward the door. "The last thing that we want is to be late to the gala…" he looked back at his lieutenant. "Come on, Ichigo… you don't want to look like a flake your first night as a lieutenant do you?"

Ichigo looked in the mirror as everything had finally sunk in. This was his life now. It was only yesterday that he was still with his family, still a regular human. After a year of being out of the world of a shinigami, he was finally thrown back into the world, watching as he only rose higher and higher. He tied the 9th Division armband around his arm as his eyes finally took in what he had become. He was no longer just Kurosaki Ichigo, he was now Lieutenant Kurosaki Ichigo, serving in the 9th Division under Captain Hisagi Shuuhei. His whole life was changing.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"_This isn't going to hurt much… just give up…"_

Byakuya opened his eyes as the memories came back to him, wrapping the scarf around his neck as he took a deep breath. His hands were shaking as he tried to block out the sensations of those man's lips up against his flesh, sweat starting to form as he tried to forget everything from that day. Everyday that passed, he could feel that man breathing down his neck, everyday as they were slowly trying to accuse Hisagi of Aizen's crimes. As he walked closer to the 1st Division, he knew that the justice he needed was further from his grasp.

"You alright, taichou?" Yumichika asked as he looked into Byakuya's eyes.

The captain froze as he looked over at his lieutenant. "Why wouldn't I be fine?" he looked at the entrance as he took a deep breath. "We've waited weeks for this. The 9th Division has come a long way since Tousen left. His lieutenant has been promoted to captain, now a decorated war-hero. And now they have a new lieutenant."

"And you think this is going to stop Kyouraku?" Yumichika asked as he walked by his captain's side.

"I don't know what other choice we have…" Kuchiki looked over his shoulder. "As a war-hero, there's no way that it will look good on the records that he would be executed. Having him killed in action was their best bet to have it all covered up. No one would have cared, captain or not, he would have just been another one of nearly a thousand who lost their lives… that hope was dashed the second he arrived back."

Yumichika took a deep breath. "So what do we do now?"

"We keep our eye on Kyouraku all night, and any other captain that we feel may be planning something… any regret spying on your former captain?"

"You're seriously asking if I care if I betray that man. I washed my hands of him the second he released me," the lieutenant walked through the door with his captain. "I no longer care of his hopes and privacy. I just want my revenge…"

As they looked around the room, they knew that life as they knew it was about to change.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira walked toward the 1st Division, his eyes falling on the 9th Division captain and lieutenant. He looked directly at Hisagi, his body becoming heavy as he looked at how different the man looked since the last meeting they say each other. His tan skin was glowing in the moonlight, his smile sending chills down Kira's spine as he shook many of the incoming shinigami's hands. Kira couldn't take his eyes off of him; he couldn't help but stare at him.

He walked closer, watching Hisagi's eyes stare endlessly at him, his body freezing as his mouth hung open, in shock to see Kira before him. Both captains stopped as they no longer knew what to do, the tension between them so thick they were drowning above water. Kira wanted to kiss him, wanted to reach out and embrace him, but he knew that could never be…

"Kira…" Hisagi smiled as he looked into the 3rd Division captain. "I didn't expect…"

"It's mandatory that we come…" Kira breathed as he looked into Hisagi's eyes, cutting the 9th Division captain off. _Don't look at me with that smile, Hisagi-san; you're only making it more difficult._

"I know I just…" Hisagi looked to the ground briefly before his eyes made contact with Kira again. "I didn't expect to run into you this early on…" his eyes looked away from him, as he took a deep breath, another smile upon his face. "It's been a while…"

"It has…" Kira whispered as he thought about everything that he had to do. "I bet Hinamori-kun wants to talk to you…"

Hisagi took a deep breath as he looked deeper into Kira's eyes, his hands visibly shaking. "Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you alone for a while," Kira could see the unease that was within Hisagi's eyes "Walk with me."

Kira nodded as he walked alongside Hisagi. He took a deep breath as he felt the man's presence next to him, the warmth of his body pulsating through the atmosphere. The happiness that he wanted to feel was fleeting with every moment. Kira didn't want to let go of this, he didn't want to sever every tie that he had ever made with this man, but as they kept walking he knew it was for the best.

"I missed you…" Hisagi breathed softly.

"Yeah…" Kira answered almost silently.

Hisagi knew there was something wrong. "Did you miss me?"

Kira bowed his head. "Of course I missed you…"

_You have to let him go, you know it's the right thing to do. You don't love him with all of your heart. You're only going to hurt him. Ever since you got into this captain mess, you hurt him… and when he needed you the most, you weren't there… _he looked at the scar that was on Hisagi's chest, tears forming in his eyes. _I won't allow myself to do this to you anymore…_

"What's wrong?" Hisagi knew something was up.

Kira closed his eyes tighter as he remembered the day when the blood ran from Tousen's blade, Hisagi's blood fresh in Komamura's fur, he remembered seeing the body after the heart was replaced. That day was never going to leave him, that moment was always going to haunt him as he closed his eyes. He knew that no matter what he did, there was nothing he could do to repay the pain that he had put him through. He closed his eyes tightly as the years started to fall.

"I think it's better if you left me alone…" Kira begged, there was no more use hiding it. "Please…"

"_Left you alone_? What the hell are you talking about? After all that we've been through…? After that promise? After the moment that we shared?" Hisagi stopped moving, the clicking of his boots halting along with Kira's heart as pain filtered through Hisagi's voice. "You don't remember do you? You made me make a choice…"

"I was selfish…"

"No, _no_!" Hisagi shook his head, his voice breaking. "There was no mistake, you were right all along. I loved Hinamori, body but not soul. I never fully wanted to be with her. After all this time, for the first time in my life, I know I'm supposed to be with _you_…"

"No, you're not…"

Hisagi shook visibly as he heard those words, a tear forming in his left eye. "You make me think about you the whole time I'm at war, you're voice being the only thing that kept me going and now you're turning your back on me…" he shook his head. "I… I don't know what I'm supposed to say here…"

Kira closed his eyes to block out Hisagi's pain. "Go find someone who deserves you, Hisagi Shuuhei…" he heard Hisagi's breathing speed up as he was taking the moment in, suffocating on Kira's words.

"I did!" his voice so shrill almost to the point where Kira couldn't understand him. "I found _you_, Kira Izuru!"

Kira closed his eyes tightly. "I don't deserve you…"

Hisagi wheezed as he was holding back sobs, his eyes staring blankly at the ground. "If you don't give a shit about me… if you think I'm better off on my own…" Hisagi's voice trembled in a way that Kira had never heard, sounding almost childlike as he tried to speak to him. "Then why the fuck are you still standing here?"

Kira shook his head. "I don't know. Hisagi-san…" he reached out to wrap his arms around him, trying to calm him down, only to feel gloved hands push him away.

"Don't touch me!" Hisagi squealed as he backed away from him. "Just go away, Kira-taichou. And if you know what's good for you, _never_ speak to me again…" his eyes were sparkling with tears as they made eye contact, the life starting to drain out of his gaze as he fell deeper into the shadows of despair, Kira once again unable to pull him out.

"Hisagi-san…"

"Get the fuck out of here, or I'll kill you with my own hands," Hisagi could barely stand as he looked at the 3rd Division captain. "Just go…"

"Hisagi-san…" Kira looked down at him as his heart broke; there was something very wrong about what he was doing, his heart not wanting to hurt Hisagi like this. "I kissed Hinamori…"

"I don't care about that…" Hisagi breathed, the tone of his voice desperate. "I don't care how many times you kissed her or why you kissed her or even if you slept with her…"he looked deeper into Kira's eyes. "I'm not going to run away from you…"

"Hisagi-san, don't make this any harder than it already is…" Kira looked away from him as heard Hisagi choke on another sob. "I'm just going to walk away, and I swear I won't speak to you again…"

As he turned around, he heard Hisagi's voice call out to him. "That's what you always do whenever I need you, you _always_ walk away! Why do you even try to get my hopes up? Everything in your life with me is a matter of convenience, it always has been. You never had feelings for me… you were just fucking with me… you fucked with me, you made me…"

Kira growled as he looked over his shoulder. "What did _I_ do? _You're_ the one who took what I said seriously, _you're_ the one who wanted to throw Hinamori-kun away, _you're_ the one who's become unnaturally attached to me…"

Hisagi's legs buckled as he fell to the ground, his head bowed as the tears fell to the ground. "Why? Why does this always happen to _me_?" he placed a hand over his heart as he shook his head violently. "Why am I the one who has to suffer? I never wanted to be like this, yet everyday they make it seem like my fault."

Kira looked at the scar on his chest as he thought back to the moment where he had lost the Hisagi that he knew. The strong, in control Hisagi had died the second that the blade pierced his flesh, leaving only a shell of his former self. Now there he knelt on the ground, his body shaking violently as the wind started to blow away the shards of Hisagi that were left. Kira closed his eyes as he saw gloved hands shake against the ground.

"Are you coming back?" Kira asked as he walked backwards away from him.

"I'll be there momentarily, I need a minute…" Hisagi wiped the tears from his eyes as he looked up at Kira, his lips trembling. "I just need to compose myself as I try to accept recognition for a war that I wanted to die during… and at least I know that if I died, it wouldn't have hurt you… at least there's that satisfaction, that light at the end of the tunnel…"

Kira turned around and started walking away, blocking out Hisagi's cries as he moved forward. He could hear the scraping of metal as if a sword was unsheathing, yet he couldn't turn around and look at it. He could feel fluctuations in Hisagi's reiatsu as he heard his breathing become more and more labored.

"_He's already tried to kill himself once, what makes you think that he won't do it again. Especially now, when everyone is rejecting him, putting him into a corner to be all by himself, drowning in misery…"_

He kept walking as he remembered the moment in the 9th Division, feeling Hisagi's lips passionately up against his as they held back the hunger in their bodies. He remembered their brief kiss underneath the stars, the relishing rapture that was coursing through his veins. He remembered all that they had shared together, fading into the pool of black blood as Hisagi's sobs grew more difficult.

"_No one is by his side. No one thinks he's worth the dust on his boots. The only person who ever cared about him after the incident was you, and now you're throwing him away…"_

Kira held back his own tears as he knew what was going to happen now. In hours, someone would walk by this area and they would see the 9th Division captain with Kyouka Suigetsu in his chest, putting an end to all of the misery. In a few hours, Kira would be made a hero for destroying the menace.

"Isai-san…" he whispered. "Forgive me…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Renji looked around the room, his body tensing as he could sense that there was something wrong. Hisagi hadn't shown up yet. His nerves were on fire as he looked around the room for him, seeing no sign of him. Walking toward the 7th Division captain, he knew this was the only way that he was going to get the answers that he wanted.

"Komamura-taichou? Have you seen Hisagi?" Renji looked around the room still searching for the missing captain.

"He was outside a few minutes ago," the 7th Division captain looked toward the door. "I don't know what's going on…"

A voice then filled their conversation. "Maybe he got the right idea and decided to kill himself…" Kurotsuchi scoffed.

Renji scowled at him. "And how would that be the right idea?"

"We all wanted him to die during the war, it's unfortunate that he had to come back alive, and a hero…" the 12th Division captain chuckled. "It looks like our little hero might have gotten the memo…"

Komamura shook his head. "Suicide? Hisagi wouldn't…"

Renji stared blankly as he remembered that sword being pointed at Hisagi's chest, the look in his eyes as they kept talking to each other. He could still hear Hisagi's cries filling the atmosphere as he heard Komamura say that word. His heart sank as Kira walked through the door, his eyes wide as tears were rolling down his cheeks. At that moment, Renji knew that everything that he had feared for the worse may have come true, and as Kira talked to him he his heart stopped.

"Abarai-kun! We have to go now! Hisagi-san! Hisagi-san…!" Kira wasn't making any sense.

"What about Hisagi-san?" Renji asked. "Kira…?"

"He's going to kill himself!" Kira shook his head, his eyes closing tightly. "You have to stop him! You have to stop him before he does anything stupid!"

Renji's heart stopped as he heard those words. "_Kill himself_? What the hell did you do, you bastard?"

Kira shook his head harder. "You have to stop him! Abarai-kun, you have to stop him!"

"What did you do to him?" Renji grasped Kira by the chest tightly as he pulled him closer, looking into his blue eyes.

"Abarai-kun…" Kira's voice was trembling dangerously. "Please… he was holding a sword when I last saw him… he's going to kill himself! I know it…! You save him right now! _Please_!"

Everything was burning before Renji's eyes as he heard those words. The man that he had once thought was unbreakable; the man that he had once envied for his coolness and calmness had finally broken down. He closed his eyes tightly as he tried to think back to the times before Aizen's heart, before the hollow attack on Ukitake, those days seemed like forever ago, and the man who he had once known from those days was now gone, dead, and buried. Renji couldn't breathe as he felt his whole body freezing.

"Iba-san!" Renji shouted as he looked at the 7th Division lieutenant. "We have to intercept Hisagi-san before he does something he's going to regret…"

Iba nodded. "We have to leave now in order to intercept him…"

Renji looked into Kira's eyes. "We'll discuss what you did later…" he ran out of the door. _Please Hisagi-san! Please don't give into it!_

"_The pain of living the way that I am, it only got worse when that man came back…"_

Renji closed his eyes tightly as he tried his hardest not to give into the pain that he was feeling, Hisagi slowly dying on him. He moved faster as he felt the pain that Hisagi was going through. He closed his eyes tightly as he stopped, seeing Hisagi staring blankly at the ground, Kyouka Suigetsu in front of him.

"Hisagi!" Iba yelled as he ran to Hisagi's side, the captain barely looking up at him. "Are you alright?"

Renji walked closer as he could hear the harsh breathing coming from Hisagi's lips. "Hisagi-san…?"

Hisagi looked up at Renji as his body shook in Iba's grasp. "Why did you come looking for me?"

Renji sighed. "Because Kira said that you were going to kill yourself…"

"Kira? He flatters himself too much in that regard, thinking I'd ever end my life because of him…" he closed his eyes tightly as his whole body went into tremors. "Like I want to give him the satisfaction of ending my life… that pussy, I don't care about him anymore…"

Renji moved closer to him. "This is the 9th Division's night, Hisagi-san…"

"Night for what? I got a new lieutenant. What do I want, congratulations? This would have been more fit being just you who got awarded, and me just fading into the shadows. Everything I wanted to come back to, everything that I ever wanted, it was all torn away from me…" he closed his eyes tightly as more tears rolled down his cheeks. "I don't want to live in this world… I don't want to be this…"

Iba tightened his grip around Hisagi. "We'll get you out of here, you need to go…"

Renji looked deep into Hisagi's watering eyes, only one question on his mind. "Kira? What did he do to you?"

"It doesn't matter, does it?" Hisagi struggled to his feet, Iba assisting him. "He fucked with me. He made me feel that he could have… and I could have…" he shook his head as he closed his eyes tightly. "I'm alone… for the first time in my life… I'm all alone…"

Renji closed his eyes as the pain in his words almost drew him to tears, his voice shaking as he tried to comfort him. "Alone? How can you think you're alone? We're here aren't we?"

Hisagi took a deep breath. "Nothing matters, no one else matters. He was the one who could have saved me… he was the only one who was there unconditionally. He was the only one that I ever thought I could have…" he swallowed hard. "I'm all alone… the only one who could save me from this darkness, he washed his hands of me, discarded me. That's what everyone does, they suck me in and then throw me to the side, make me feel important and then they walk away. Tousen, Hinamori, Kira, _everyone_… there's no one out there who can… even you will turn on me one day…"

Renji was on the verge of screaming. "Stop talking like that!"

"You're lucky, Abarai, you've always been lucky…"

"_Lucky_? How am I _lucky_? Look at you: you're alive, you're powerful, you're respected…"

"Who am I respected by? Ukitake-soutaichou thought I was going to die, all of the captains did, all but _him_. He was the only one who gave me hope…" Hisagi shook violently. "I… I… I…" he swallowed hard. "I…wish I never came back… I wish you left me to die in HuecoMundo…"

Renji closed his eyes tightly. _Is this what love does to you? Is this what is to become of everyone? Only more heartache? Kira, this man loves you, and yet…_

0o0o0o0o0o0

Rukia stood outside looking at the stars thinking about what had occurred throughout the day. It was an emotional struggle. She closed her eyes tightly as she remembered the moment where Renji ran out of the room. The pain was high, the tension was unbearable. No matter the moment, she felt herself falling away from Renji. The eruption in the office, the jealousy toward Ichigo, it all sent her over the edge as she finally tried to swallow it all.

"Rukia…" Ichigo breathed as he walked toward the other lieutenant.

"What do you want, Ichigo?" she shook her head as she looked away from him.

"I was just curious…" he took a deep breath as he walked closer. "I was just wondering about my captain…"

"Renji's taking care of it…"

Ichigo sighed as he walked closer. "You two have seemed kind of tense lately…"

"Comes with being engaged, sometimes you have stupid fights, especially when potential threats come into play…" she tried to avoid him.

"Doesn't it get in the way of your friendship with him? And the fact that he's your superior?" Ichigo made her freeze. "I mean you used to be able to tell him _everything_. Can you still do that?"

Her heart stopped as she thought back to only months ago, the moment where she had lost their child. Renji was still oblivious to the fact. There was a time where she could tell him anything, no matter what it was, there were no secrets, there were no lies. She wished that they could be like that again, to have the relationship she had with Renji before she messed things up by sleeping with him. She closed her eyes tightly as she tried to block out her pain.

"No, we can't…"

"That's because sex complicates things…" Ichigo explained.

"How would you know, have you ever had sex with anyone?"

"Have you ever had sex with anyone other than Renji?"

She scoffed. "What the hell are you getting at?"

"You had too deep of a friendship between the two of you, and then you ruined it. You should never sleep with your friends, not friends like Renji," his eyes looked into hers. "What couldn't you tell him?"

She then did something she knew she would regret. "I lost our child…"

Ichigo smiled as he shook his head. "Why? Do you think that he would think less of you? If he thinks less of you because of that, then he's an asshole, and he doesn't deserve you…" Ichigo moved closer to her. "He doesn't deserve you…"

Before she could even register what was happening, she felt his lips touch hers in a kiss, the passion overwhelming her. Everything in her mind shut off as he slipped his tongue past her lips as his arms wrapped around her tightly. She didn't think about Renji, she didn't think of the love that the two of them had shared, like an adolescent girl, all she could think about was her childish crush on Ichigo, the crush that she had thrown aside for Renji. She kissed back, a small purr passing Ichigo's lips as the two of them kissed deeper.

A voice then broke them up. "Kuchiki-fukitaichou!"

Rukia backed away to see Kira staring at her, shaking his head. "Kira-taichou…"

As Kira was about to say something else, their vision went to look over at the men who were walking toward them. There stood Renji, Iba, and Hisagi, all of them looking at contempt at the other captain.

"Hisagi-san…" Kira breathed as his vision caught the dark circles that were underneath the captain's eyes. "I'm so glad that you're…"

The sound of boots clicking up against the ground filled the atmosphere as Hisagi ran as fast as he could to Kira, his gloved fist making contact with the 3rd Division captain's face, blood falling from his nose as he collapsed on the ground.

"You dickless fuck!" Hisagi shrieked as he kicked one of his boots into Kira's stomach. "You asshole!" he kicked him again, Kira coughing once more. "How can you do this to me? How could you fuck with me like that?"

Kira's watering eyes looked up at him. "Is this how you treat someone you love?"

"_Love_?" Hisagi scoffed. "I don't _love_ you… not anymore…"

Kira's eyes were wide. "But you did…" the 3rd Division captain swallowed hard. "Hisagi-san…"

"Whether I loved you or not doesn't matter anymore. Because you're nothing to me now…" he shook his head as more tears formed. "We aren't friends. We aren't allies. To me you're trash, nothing more that Kyouraku. You're an insignificant wretch who backstabbed me…" the tears fell harder as he kicked Kira again. "You make me nauseous!"

Kira didn't fight back, his eyes watering as he looked up at the other two men. "Abarai-kun…"

"Don't say anything Kira, because if you do… I'll break your Goddamn neck!" Renji hissed.

Kira shook his head. "You're fighting someone else's battle when I caught your fiancée making out with Hisagi-san's lieutenant only moments before you came in…"

Rukia watched as Renji's eyes looked at her, the pain starting to come to life. "He's lying. Tell me he's lying, Rukia!"

"Renji…" Rukia breathed watching tears form in Renji's eyes.

"Tell me he's lying!" Renji's voice was desperate as he looked deeper into her eyes. "_Tell me_!"

Rukia shook her head. "Renji I…"

Renji stopped breathing at that moment as his hand moved to clasp over his mouth, his eyes staring endlessly into the distance as he back away from them. Rukia's heart broke as she heard Renji start breathing again looking over at Iba.

"Get me out of here…" Renji breathed as the 7th Division lieutenant nodded. "Please get me out of here…"

Rukia stepped forward. "Renji…"

Iba shook his head as he looked at her, then looking over at Hisagi. "I think that Kira has had enough, Hisagi…"

Hisagi looked down at Kira, his eyes watering. "Thank you, Kira. Thank you for helping me realize that there is no one in this world who will ever care about me. Thank you for breaking me out of that illusion…"

Rukia watched as the three men started walking back into the building, Kira's voice calling out to them. "Hisagi-san!"

She bowed her head as she felt Ichigo come closer to her, her body tensing as he wrapped his arm around her. As she watched Renji walk into the building, she knew that there was nothing that could be done. The heartache that they had tried to avoid, the pain that they knew would take them completely over after the war was upon them. As the two captains who fought in the war, dried their tears, and swallowed their sorrows, she knew that the world that she had once lived in was gone. This was the end.

* * *

This chapter is going to be part of the drama that is going to move the story along as we see our war heroes start to fall apart at the seams. The drama of the love triangles and heartache are now underway. And the next chapter is going to bring Hinamori back into the picture as Renji tries to come to grips with Rukia breaking his trust.

And please leave feedback. I love it.

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request (see profile for details.)

Hope to get to work on my stories more now that Thanksgiving break is coming up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Pairings:** Ichigo x Rukia, Renji x Rukia, Hisagi/Kira, Hisagi x Hinamori, slight Kira x Hinamori, and slight Hitsugaya x Hinamori  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, heavy sexual content (lemons), talk of suicide, and some violence. Not to mention any errors that I may have left (I've been out of it for a while).  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach, **Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Hisagi sat in the 9th Division office, his hands wrapped around the Medal of Honor that was hanging from his neck. He closed his eyes tightly as he tried to forget what had happened the previous night. The ache was still rolling through his chest as he remembered Kira's words, as he remembered him throwing him to the ground. He grasped the bottle of sake tighter as he tried to block it all out.

He took a long drink as he felt the tears rolling down his cheeks, his body shaking as he thought about all the pain that he had gone through. He was nothing to Kira, he never was. He took another long sip, swallowing painfully as the first tear rolled down his cheek. As the emotion took him over, the door opened.

"Heard of knocking?" he asked as he looked in the doorway, his eyes growing wide. "Hinamori?"

Hinamori walked closer to him. "You fell apart last night…"

Hisagi took another sip of the bottle, forcing himself to swallow more. "You came all the way here to tell me that?"

She shook her head. "I came to see if you were okay…"

He smiled faintly. "I'm okay…"

"No you're _not_, you're _not_ okay. I know you better than you think I do, Hisagi Shuuhei…" She walked closer to the desk, her eyes looking deep into his. "I still care about you…"

"I know you do, and you were right about Kira…" he fought the tears that were in his eyes. "You're always right about me…"

She shook her head. "Hisagi-san… look what Kira has done to you…" she moved to wipe one of his tears away. "I never thought I'd see you cry again… I never wanted to see you cry in my life…"

"Do you enjoy it?" Hisagi asked, his voice shaking. "Watching me cry?"

Hinamori shook her head. "I never enjoy seeing you in pain…"

She moved to press her lips up against his in a small kiss, backing away to look into his eyes, he froze as he saw the slight amount of love still for him. He moved forward to kiss her passionately, pulling her closer to his body as her hands pressed against his back.

"You taste like liquor…" she whispered on his lips with a sweet giggle.

He pulled her into another kiss as his hand moved to pull her hair down, weaving it through his fingers as he pulled her even closer. Her hand moved to press up against his chest, before pulling at the medal that was around his neck, pulling his chest closer to hers. The moans filled the room as she moved her hands to undo his uniform.

"Hinamori…" he breathed as he pulled her closer to his body, everything in his mind a complete jumble as the alcohol had taken him over. As he kissed her again, he knew that slowly he was starting to lose who he was.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Last night was a complete disaster!" Nanao scowled as she looked around the lieutenant table. "The two captains who were rewarded looked awful!"

"They just came back from war…" Yumichika rolled his eyes. "Do you expect the two of them to look beautiful…"

"Not like that, both of them looked broken…" Isane breathed, bowing her head. "And judging by the bruises that are on Kira-taichou, I'd say that he had something to do with this…"

"And it's obvious who had something to do with Abarai," Iba scoffed as he looked over at Rukia. "His two-timing fiancée…"

Rukia couldn't look at them. "I _apologized_ to him…"

"Out of all of the captains to upset, you and Kira had to upset the two alcoholics," Yumichika shook his head, looking away from Rukia. "No bottle of sake is going to be safe today, I can tell you that."

Ichigo looked around the table. "Is this all we do is just sit around and gossip?"

"Well that's what the captains have been doing," Yumichika sighed. "All my captain has talked about is Abarai…"

"What has he said?" Rukia sat up in her chair.

Yumichika took a deep breath as he shook his head. "Don't be surprised if Renji calls off your engagement, Rukia," the 6th Division lieutenant took a deep breath. "He's really hurting…"

Iba looked at Yumichika, "Hisagi is in worse shape. We had to take him to the 7th Division last night and make sure he didn't hurt himself. I had to stay up all night and watch as he drank himself to unconsciousness."

"My captain has gone to comfort him…" Kiyone announced as she looked around the room. "She left right before I went to this meeting…"

Matsumoto rolled her eyes. "That's exactly what he needs. Another person to break his heart…"

"I think what you mean is a good fuck," Ikkaku smiled as he laughed. "That's why she's gone to him; she's going to fuck his brains out…"

"Not like there's much brain left with all that he's been drinking…" Yumichika added. "Hisagi Shuuhei is in rare form since last night. He's not all there… he's become a completely different man. First he beats Kira Izuru to a pulp, and now he's going to go back with Hinamori…"

"They were together before the war…" Sentarou added. "After my captain severed ties, he probably thought that this was the best thing he could do…"

Matsumoto shook her head. "I don't get it, why did this have to happen. He already wanted to kill himself, did they think this was going to make it any better. And you…" she looked at Ichigo and then Rukia. "You two are equally to blame for this heartache. You're the ones who made Renji turn into this creature; you have to help him, even if it means leaving him, Rukia…"

"I'm not leaving him…"

"You have to!" Matsumoto wasn't backing down, Ichigo freezing in place as he heard those words. "Renji gave you everything. Renji risked everything to be close to you! And how do you repay him? You kiss a boy that isn't even half the man Renji is…"

Ichigo looked over at the 10th Division lieutenant. "I'm still in the room…"

"Leave him, Rukia…" Matsumoto begged. "He's no longer yours…"

"He's always going to be mine. I love him!"

"Really?" Iba asked as he looked over at the 13th Division lieutenant. "Love? What is love anyway? These last few months we've learned that love will only hurt you in the end. There is no such thing as love in this world, someone always gets hurt…"

Rukia bowed her head. "Renji's not going to get hurt, not anymore…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hinamori rested her head against Hisagi's shoulder as she sat on his lap. "I almost forgot what that felt like…" she moved to kiss gently at his jaw line. "Making love to you is something that never gets boring."

He smiled as he looked at the desk. "I'm glad someone appreciates me… even if it is just for sex…"

Hinamori took a deep breath, her arm wrapped tightly around his body. "I'm sorry about Kira…"

Hisagi shook his head. "I'm over him…"

"I know you are," she kissed at his cheek again. "I just wonder why he let you down like that…"

Hisagi closed his eyes tightly. "I don't want to talk about Kira anymore…"

"I get it," she smiled as she arose from his lap. "You're in love with him…"

Hisagi closed his eyes as he felt the tears form. "Hinamori…"

Her heart sank as she looked at the tears that were falling from his eyes, moving to wipe more away, her body shaking as she felt him shudder. "Don't cry, Hisagi…" he moved to wrap her arms around him. "Don't cry… it's all going to be alright…"

She wrapped her arms around him tighter as his cries filled the office, her hands tightening on his haori. All this time when she was dueling with Kira, all this time that she was trying to convince Kira that he was only going to hurt him again, she had lost sight on what was important. They never stopped to think about Hisagi's feelings, never stopped to understand what was going through his head.

"I'm not leaving…" she whispered as he trembled in her arms. "I'm not leaving you…"

"Hinamori…"

"I'm not leaving you…" she felt tears form in her eyes. "I'm not leaving you alone when you're like this…"

She moved to kiss him deeply again, her body shaking up against his as his hands tightened against her. Everything that Kira had done to him was flowing into her. The pain that he had left within Hisagi was something that she never thought would disappear, yet as she looked into his eyes, she knew that there was something deep within him that was starting to destroy the Hisagi Shuuhei that they had once known, leaving only a husk of his former glory.

"I'm not leaving you…" she kissed him again as she heard his breath catch in his throat. "That's a promise…"

He moved to pull her onto the desk, his lips connecting with hers as he moved to be in between her legs, moans passing his lips as his fingers moved to undo her uniform. She closed her eyes tightly as she undid his feeling his body closer to hers as they hurriedly moved to once again connect. As she felt the sensation of him entering her, she threw her head back.

"Hisagi-san…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Are you alright?" Kuchiki asked as he looked over at Renji. "You haven't spoken for minutes…"

Renji looked up at the captain. "Yeah, I'm fine…"

Kuchiki sighed. "You don't look fine…"

"Don't look fine?" he asked as he looked over at the captain. "Byakuya…"

"I know you're in pain," Kuchiki didn't waste any time getting to the point of the conversation. "I know that you're hurting since you heard that Rukia's feelings for you are fleeting…"

Renji shook his head, his heart breaking at those words. "I guess I always knew something like this would happen… she has been distant for a while now, and now she and Ichigo…" he swallowed hard. "I can't do this anymore…"

Kuchiki sighed. "You're going to break it off?"

"I know I shouldn't, I know how much you were rooting for me, but I can't go on like this, Byakuya," he shook his head as he felt his voice start to break. "How can I be with someone who I can't even trust?"

Kuchiki sighed. "It's going to be hard…"

"Hard, this isn't hard. This is unbelievable."

Kuchiki took a deep breath. "Engagement is a really hard stage…"

"How would you know, you were happily married for years," Renji looked away from that captain, not wanting to hear anything that Kuchiki Byakuya had to say to him. "You don't know what this feels like…"

"Yes I do. Hisana wasn't the first person I was ever engaged to," he looked out the window into the distance. "My first betrothal was far more difficult. In most betrothal, you hate the person, and I hated her so fiercely. But as time went on I grew to love her… and when she left…" he closed his eyes tightly. "It was a difficult situation to take in, but eventually it becomes easier…"

Renji shook his head. "It gets easier…"

"Yeah… sooner or later you start thinking of them less and less to the point where you don't think about them at all. Rukia is now just a lieutenant to you, not a lover, not a fiancée, just your subordinate," he looked at the 13th Division captain. "You never have to look at her with loving eyes for as long as you shall live…"

Renji took a deep breath as he looked out the window, his heart breaking as he felt his body shake, begging for the comfort of the alcohol, his alcoholism screaming at him to feed it. He closed his eyes even tighter as he gulped down the urges, his body trembling as he tried to fight it. Everything was falling apart.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira walked to the 5th Division, intercepting Kiyone as she walked back to the gate. "Kiyone-kun?" he asked, the bruises on his diaphragm making it painful to speak. "Did she go see him?"

She nodded as she looked over at him. "She did…"

"What did she say?"

"Nothing about you," she answered softly. "And it's for the better. He's bruised your diaphragm and he's broken your nose… I think it's for the best if you steer clear of him before you get even more hurt…"

Kira bowed his head. "You really think that?"

She nodded. "You're only going to hurt each other"

"And you think I care?" he asked, curious.

"I think you _should_…" she watched as his eyes widened. "I think that if you were that quick to throw him away, you shouldn't care if he drowns before you. If this is too bold, I wish you would forgive me, and wait for my captain to come back with news. But Kira-taichou, the news you hear will not be to your liking… you know that she still has feelings for him, and he still has feelings for her."

Kira shook his head. "He's happy?"

"I don't know. He could be…"

"That's all I want for him. I want to see that he's happy for once in his life since the transplant. I want to know that he can live his life with his head up. I didn't want to be selfish and hold him back…"

"Hold him back? He was in love with you Kira-taichou, everyone knew that," Kiyone shook her head. "He made his choice before he went off to the war. It was obvious that you were the one he wanted to be with…"

Kira shook his head. "No, don't say that…"

"You were, you were the one who used to make him smile when he was thrown into complete darkness. You were the only one that he cared about. It was all about _you_…" the lieutenant moved to walk through the gate. "But it's too late now… no doubt he is rekindling the spark with Hinamori-taichou."

Kira bowed his head as he heard those words. The moments that he had spent with Hisagi since the beginning were now nothing more than useless memories. Their friendship, their feelings for each other, everything that they were was all fading away before his vision. The tears welled up in his eyes as he felt the pain roll through his diaphragm, still feeling Hisagi's boot against his stomach. The pain that was in his former friend's voice still breaking his heart as his mind wandered back to that day. He looked at the sun that was still high in the sky as he took a deep breath.

"Hisagi-san…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

"They aren't ready to tell us about what happened there…" Ukitake shook his head as he looked at his lieutenant. "Neither Abarai-kun or Hisagi-kun are in any shape to tell us even a single detail about what happened there… I haven't seen Hisagi-kun all day, but I saw Abarai-kun walk out of the 6th Division, his body nearly in convulsions."

Ikkaku sighed. "He's falling back into that shit again… his alcoholism is going to get the better of him… he can't control himself when he gets like this," he looked at Ukitake, the captain's eyes looking to the ground. "They are the only two who have real information…"

Ukitake shook his head. "We're doomed if neither of them speak."

"They'll talk, after we give Renji some time I'll go talk to him, he'll listen to me," Ikkaku smiled as he watched Ukitake smirk. "We're going to get through this… I promise that, soutaichou…"

Ukitake bowed his head as he looked at the files. "I hope you're right, because whatever those two are doing, I hope they're slowly healing…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hinamori sat on the bed which Hisagi was laying in, stroking his shoulder lightly as his breathing became sorrowful and labored. _Kira, what have you done to him? Are you that blind that you can't see how he feels for you?_

She stroked his flesh softly as he buried his face, not wanting her to see him like this. Her eyes started to water as she heard those cries, as she felt his body tremble under her touch. She tried her hardest to think about the times they were together when he was almost happy, the times where he used to smile. That was all before this world had broken him, cast him aside. He didn't mean anything to them. Yet as she touched him, felt his sadness, she knew that he meant everything to her.

"You don't have to stay with me…" Hisagi breathed.

"I told you, I'm not leaving…" Hinamori whispered, her hand still moving against his skin. "Not until you're okay…"

Hisagi turned to look at her, his eyes swollen with tears. "I'm fine…"

She shook her head. "No, you're not…" she moved to kiss his cheek. "I know you don't have anything left for me… that you've moved on. But I want you to know one thing: I still love you Hisagi Shuuhei… and no matter what, I'll never hurt you the way that he did…"

Hisagi closed his eyes as more tears rolled down his cheeks. "Who said I didn't still have feelings for you? We fought all the time, but you never did this to me… you never hurt me to the point where I feel lost, useless…"

"This means you love him…"

Hisagi felt more tears rolling down his cheeks. "It doesn't matter, he doesn't love _me_, Hinamori… and I know that you've moved on as well. But for one more day, I want you to pretend that we can still be together, until the sun rises tomorrow morning, I want you to be the one by my side. I want to hold you…"

Hinamori moved to lie next to Hisagi, resting up against his chest as his arms wrapped around her. She closed her eyes as she felt the comfort of his arms again, the joy that she once obtained while she was within his embrace. She closed her eyes as the tears rolled down her cheeks, burying her face deeper into his chest, feeling the beating of his heart.

"This is where we first made love…" Hinamori whispered.

"You still remember that…" Hisagi tried his hardest to smile, a small empty grin upon his face.

"I'll never forget it," she kissed gently at his chest. "I'll never forget any of the love that we shared. In this life or the next I will always remember you…"

He closed his eyes tightly as a single sob emerged from his body. "Why did I ever give you up?"

"You fell in love with Kira…"

"I was a fool… you gave me everything, I was ungrateful…"

"I never thought you were ungrateful…"

At that moment, she felt her lips being captured in a passionate kiss, her body frozen as the ardor built up within her body. She never thought that in one day she would have so many doses of him. She wrapped her arms around him as she felt his lips move to kiss up against her neck. Never did she get her hopes up, she knew it was the alcohol, she knew it was the depression. But in the heat of the moment, she didn't know how to tell him to stop. She didn't want him to.

"Hisagi-san!" she moved in to kiss his lips again, feeling his body shake up against hers, the passion filling them.

He kissed her deeper as the tears ceased to fall down his cheeks, her tongue slipping past his lips as she was finally able to take control of him, pulling his body closer to hers as her legs tightened around his body, the moans bubbling from his throat sending chills down her spine. She kissed him deeper as her body craved him, begging him to fill the void within her, to repeat the sin that had once been caused in this room. She closed her eyes tightly as she kissed up against his neck.

"Hisagi-san…" she breathed, her body shaking up against his, the moans emerging from him sending electricity through her body. "I want you to make love to me…"

He looked into her eyes, his breath thick with lust, a smile upon his face. "Again? You know this would be the third time today…"

"I know…" she whispered on his lips. "But think of this as a goodbye, seeing as for the rest of the day you want me to be the one by your side."

He kissed her lips forcefully, a moans filling the room as Hinamori's legs tightened around him, her uniform becoming uncomfortably moist as she became more and more aroused. His tongue moved against her lips as he undid her uniform, pulling it off, his eyes never leaving hers as moans escaped his throat. She closed her eyes tightly, the passion taking her over as he was so hard up against her. Before today, she had missed the feeling of him inside of her, now she knew that she would never forget, it as imprinted in her deepest memories.

Her eyes closed tightly as he entered her, her hands pressed against his back as their lips met in a passionate, sloppy kiss, saliva rolling down her cheek. The feelings, the sensation that was rolling through her spine made a loud moan escape her, being muffled by his lips against hers in a forceful kiss.

"Hisagi-san!" she breathed as she tightened her hand that was in his hair. "I love you…"

She nearly cried out as the first movement was driven into her, swallowing her moan as she took his lips again, her muscles tightening around his arousal, both of them shaking at the pleasure. The moans that were passing his lips were unlike the moans of every previous time that she had made love to him, they were quieter, more childlike as squeaks and soft coos passed his lips. The sweetness of the noises made her heart race; this was a completely different Hisagi than she had remembered.

With ever passing moment, every sensation that rolled through her body, every synchronized breath, she got lost in his glory, in his power over her. She moved into him, hearing his moans fill her ears, feeling his soft breaths on her lips, the beating of her heart up against her chest. She closed her eyes as a tear rolled down her cheek. This is what she was giving up. This is what she was slowly walking away from. She took his lips again, feeling the affection that was in his kiss.

"Hisagi-san…" she breathed as she choked on a moan. "Harder…"

The raw sexuality that was once synonymous with Hisagi Shuuhei then came forth, a shuddering moan passing her lips as he moved harder into her, going deeper than she ever thought he would, her legs shaking as her inner walls tightened around his length. Both of them moaned as her muscles moved harsher, stronger, the pleasure rolling through her like a tsunami. She let go as her walls tightened almost painfully, her hands pressing harshly against his back as a loud moan passed her lips.

"Fuck!" she closed her eyes tightly as she came, hearing him moan at the sensation. "Hisagi-san!

As he kissed him again, the movements of his body against hers changed dramatically. The movements were slow, meaningful, the electricity of their lovemaking at more of a steady pace, the pulsations that drove her over the edge quickly before, synchronized with the beating of his heart. Every thrust made her breathing hitch as her hands moved to grab the one who was in front of him, moving so lovingly into her, the one who made her feel as though this was the love that she was leaving behind.

"Hisagi-san…" she breathed as she kissed against his jaw line, feeling a soft coo pass his lips. "I love you…"

He took a deep breath before swallowing hard. "I love you too…" he swallowed again, this time painfully. "H-Hinamori…"

Every movement, made the warmth within her swirl harder, the look in his eyes as he continued on brought back the clutching of her walls. Her heart starting to race as erratic moans passed through her lips as he moved deeper within her, the throbbing flesh within her encouraging her body to give in. Her vision was clouded as she moaned loudly, a strangled cry passing her lips as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Hisagi-san!" she cried out, her body shaking, her eyes shooting open. "Oh God, Hisagi-san!" she tightened her walls around him, hearing a whimper from him, his muscles tightening. "_Shuuhei_…"

Their lips clashed against each other again, as their muscles tightened against one another, his body shaking as his climax came closer and closer. Her body tightening against his as she felt pleasure increasing in her once more, her eyes meeting his as their lips separated.

"Don't cum, Hisagi-san… stay with me for a little longer…" she whispered. "_Please_…"

He moaned softly, every cry of pleasure becoming higher pitched as he tried to hold back his orgasm. He swallowed hard as he continued to move into her, hearing her cries still passing her lips, his name being repeated over and over again. She could see the haze start to form in his eyes as they continued to meet each other's movement, the muscles in his neck tighten as he gulped, trying to hold back the pleasure, holding back the moment of his own release. Sweat was forming on his forehead as he gave into her request.

"Hinamori…" he breathed, his eyes closed tightly. "I…"

She moaned as his movements became erratic, the pulsations of his hard flesh sending waves of pleasure down her spine, her hands pressed against his back as his shoulders tensed. A quiet howl passed his lips as he fell deeper into his passion, but she couldn't let him go. With every passing moment, she didn't want this to end, didn't want to forget the sensation of him between her legs. She closed her eyes tightly as she was put closer to the edge, feeling him thrust even deeper inside of her.

"Hisagi-san…" she whispered, her eyes meeting his, seeing the water in his eyes. "I want you to cum with me…" she kissed his lips lightly. "You can let go now…"

She closed her eyes tightly as she felt him push into as deep as he possibly could, both of them moaning in tandem as their muscles tightened, the climax taking over them. She could hear Hisagi's breathing slow down as the pleasure started to unwind, his body feeling heavy on top of hers.

"Damn…" she breathed as she kissed his cheek softly, feeling his breath on her flesh, his body shaking up against hers. "You're trembling…"

He backed away from her as she let out a moan, feeling him pull out of her body. "Holy shit…" he panted a smile on his face. "I'm going to miss that…"

"Tell me about it…" Hinamori breathed as she moved closer to him, her hands running along his back. "Feel better?"

He nodded as he closed his eyes. "I do…" he smiled as he looked into her eyes. "Thank you for staying with me… Momo…"

She looked at him as her heart sank. She moved to rub against his back as she looked in the glitter that was in his eyes, the soft glow of sweat that was upon his skin, the breathlessness of his composure. She looked deeper at what Hisagi Shuuhei had become next to her and she knew she never wanted to give it up.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Renji held onto the bottle of sake as he brought it to his lips, his fingers shaking up against it as he took the first sip. He didn't remove the bottle from his lips, gulping as much of it as he could, the sound of his swallowing filling his ears as he fell deeper into the pit that his alcoholism wanted him to be within. He pulled the empty bottle away from his lips as he felt his body shudder, tears rolling from his eyes as he fell into the corner of the office. He looked at the ceiling as his eyes watered even more, his vision being clouded with the onset of the alcohol.

He then heard footsteps outside the door. "Rukia…" he breathed as he looked up at her.

Her eyes were wide as she looked down at her fiancé. "Renji…"

"Don't call me that…" he closed his eyes as more water fell from his tear ducts. "Please don't call me that…"

She shook her head as she walked closer. "Renji…"

"Don't call me that!" he yelled as he threw the bottle in her direction hearing the crash of the broken porcelain fill the room, his chest feeling heavy as he tried to breathe. "I'm your captain… I demand that respect, _Kuchiki-fukutaichou_!"

He could feel her heart breaking. "_Abarai-taichou_."

He shook his head as his voice was breaking. "I can't do this anymore, Rukia. I can't be the man that you want me to be. You want me to be someone strong, someone who you can lean on all the time. I can't be that man…"

"Abarai-taichou…"

"I can't do this anymore…" he took hold of her left hand, tears in his eyes. "I release you of your debt to me…" he pulled the ring off of her hand, closing his eyes tightly as he tried to hide the pain her was in. "You're free…"

"Free?" she asked as she shook her head, her voice on the verge of tears. "Abarai-taichou!"

"You kissed him. Rukia, you think that I can handle that. You knew who I felt about that boy and you knew that it would break my heart if you were to act on your feelings for him…" he closed his eyes tighter still, swallowing hard. "I can't be that boy, and I can't sit here and be an afterthought. So I'm cutting you loose, you're free…" he let out a single sob. "Now leave, before I change my mind…"

"It was only a kiss…"

"_Now _it was only a kiss! What about tomorrow? Am I supposed to forgive you and forgive you until I find you in bed with him?" his voice shook violently. "I can't be with someone who doesn't want to be with me, and when you kissed him you broke my _heart_… my _trust_… my _everything_. I can't marry you Kuchiki-fukutaichou, but I'll let you keep your position…"

She moved forward to come closer to him. "Abarai…"

"Don't…" Renji shook his head as he moved deeper into the corner, holding his hands out. "Don't come near me…" he swallowed hard as he shook violently, his eyes closing tightly. "Don't even look at me… please, just walk away from me right now, and don't look back. Don't _ever_ look back…"

"You're the one I love; you're the one I want to be with…"

He closed his eyes tightly as he swallowed hard. "Please… leave me…"

She walked toward the door as the tears fell from Renji's eyes, his hands shaking as he craved another bottle of sake. "Don't ever look back, Rukia…"

* * *

I know it's been a while since I updated this, but I've had this chapter done for a REALLY long time (I actually have up to chapter 11 done.) But now I think I'm slowly coming back to reality and have decided to keep writing.

I know that this chapter had the second coming of Hisagi and Hinamori, but I don't know if anything will really come of it for now, but it may come back later. As for the Renji and Rukia break-up it's going to fuel some huge drama down the road.

The next chapter Hisagi is going deeper down the road of destruction as distrust flares throughout the Soul Society.

And please leave feedback. I love it.

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request (see profile for details.)


	6. Chapter 6

**Pairings:** Renji x Rukia, Hisagi/Kira, Hisagi x Hinamori, Hitsugaya x Hinamori, Hisagi x Matsumoto, slight Kira x Hinamori, and slight Ichigo x Rukia  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, some sexual content, talk of suicide, and some violence. Not to mention any errors that I may have left (but you already know about that).  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach, **Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Hisagi awoke to see the sun rising, he had slept most of the previous day away. He closed his eyes as the light burned his eyes, his head throbbing in pain as he tried to rise from the pillow. He fell deeper into the bed, the sound of Hinamori's breathing on his chest, his arm wrapped gently around her. He closed his eyes, a smile upon his face as she felt out a soft coo, snuggling deeper into his chest, the warmth of his body drawing her closer.

_She stayed_. He moved to stroke her arm gently as she let out a small moan, coming to. She looked up into his eyes as she still rested on his chest, kissing gently up against his chest. Hisagi didn't want to let her go. Everything that they had, everything that once kept him happy was all coming back to him. He looked into her eyes as a smile was upon his face.

"It's been a while since I've seen you smile and mean it," she looked deep into his eyes as she whispered softly.

"It's been a while since I had anything to smile over…" Hisagi breathed as he felt her rest on his chest. "You're free to go…"

"No…" she breathed, snuggling deeper into his chest. "A few more minutes."

He closed his eyes as he felt her moved up to take his lips in a small kiss, the sheets rustling around them. "You're greedy…"

"Only when it comes to you," she whispered on his lips, a smile once again gracing his face. "You were incredible…"

Hisagi closed his eyes and sighed. "Thank you…"

He took in the moment of holding Hinamori, thinking to all of the pain that the two of them had gone through, all of the happiness, everything that they were. As he looked into her eyes he felt for the first time since Kira had let him go he was finally happy. He closed his eyes as he stroked her hair, hearing her giggle at the sensation. This was where he belonged. This was his home. This was the only person who would ever love him. As he held onto her, he didn't want to let her go. He didn't want to be alone because of a single mistake that he made. He fought the tears that wanted to take him over, his nerves on fire as he craved the comfort of the bottle.

"I don't want to let go…" she breathed as she kissed against his cheek, closing her eyes. "I don't want to let you go, Hisagi Shuuhei…"

"No one ever wants to let go, but we all do…" he whispered.

"It took me forever just to find you, and now we're oceans apart…"

"Maybe it's for the better."

"For the better?" her voice was low. "That's the mentality that broke us apart. You're always running away from people that you are about. You're _always_ running. I don't know what Tousen did to you, but why can't you trust people?"

He pushed her away softly. "Why does it always go there for you? Why do you always talk about Tousen? Why do you always ask me why I'm running away from you? Maybe it's because I'm tired of being let down. Maybe it's because for once in my life I want something that's real, but I know that if I really want something I never get it. Whenever I trust someone, whenever I care for someone, they're always there to stab me in the back."

He turned away from her, closing his eyes as she said the next words. "So you give up? So you start drinking. I've never seen you fall this hard before. I have watched you for decades and you never seemed to give up on anything. Yet now, it's like you don't want to live anymore…"

Hisagi closed his eyes tighter as he processed those words. "There are days when I don't…" he took a deep breath. "But there are days where I know that I can't give them the satisfaction. Like today…" he looked over his shoulder at her. "Because somehow, you make me want to live…"

She closed her eyes as she shook her head. "That's why you're pushing me away?"

"Kira made me want to live and when he left me, I was devastated. But that night I wasn't trying to…" he swallowed those words as he looked away from her. "_Kill myself_, but," he lifted one of his wrists to the light, Hinamori gasping as she saw the scars. "I've had my lows…"

He closed her eyes as she looked at the scar, her hands tight up against his arm. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"The world wants me dead anyway… and what I saw in Hueco Mundo…" he closed his eyes tighter as he thought about what he had just said.

"_The more you use it, the more you become like me…"_

"The more I use his powers, the more I'll become like him, but there's no way I can live without using his power. Sixty percent: that's how much of him is in me. There's no way I can avoid that."

Hinamori held his arm looking at the scars. "Why? Why are you acting like this? Why are you breaking down like this?"

"Because no one understands what is going on inside of me," he placed a hand over his chest. "The pain, the unbearable pain…"

"It's okay," she soothed, wrapping her arms around him, his breath starting to calm down. "He's dead; he's not going to come back for you."

He closed his eyes as he knew that Hinamori was wrong. But he wanted to believe her. He wanted for just moment to go back to a time where he felt that was true. Yet as he shuddered in her arms, holding back the tears, hearing her whisper consolations in his ear, he knew that they day was going to come. There was going to be a day when he was no longer himself, the day that Kyouraku had talked about. He closed his eyes tighter until the tears started falling down his cheeks, his hand moving to grasp one of her arms as he wished she was right.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Renji sat in the office with another bottle of liquor his hands shaking as he took another long sip, his whole body shaking as he swallowed the liquid. He couldn't even taste it anymore, he couldn't enjoy it the way that he once had, yet as he took it in he knew that it was the only thing that was keeping him functioning, the only thing that could take his pain away.

That's when he heard the door opening. "What do you want, Rukia?"

Rukia burst into the office, slamming the door behind her. "You're an asshole!" Renji looked up at her, but then took another sip from the bottle as he looked back out the window. "How can you just throw me to the side like that?"

Renji scoffed as he shook his head. "_I_ threw _you_ to the side? Who's the one who was kissing another person? Since our engagement, I haven't touched _anyone_. That lifestyle that you knew me for, it's all over…"

"I know your type Renji… you take every girl to your bed and then leave them the next morning. _I_ was going to be one of those, wasn't I?"

"You thought that night in the 6th Division was supposed to be…?" he narrowed his eyes as his voice filled with anger not being able to finish that sentence as he put the bottle down. "You thought that I was never going to speak to you again?"

"How many people have you fucked?" Rukia asked, her eyes narrowing.

"What does that have to do with anything? I didn't dump you because of my lifestyle. You think I want to go back to being a slut? I was only like that because I wanted to be with you, Kuchiki Rukia, but I fucked that up decades ago…" he closed his eyes and shook his head, his hand almost reaching to the bottle to take the edge off, but he couldn't grasp it. "And here I am, in the same situation. The only difference is that this time you made me look like an asshole."

Rukia walked closer as tears formed in her eyes. "I was scared… I was scared that you were growing bored with me…"

"_Bored_? I jumped through fire to get you, Rukia. I've loved you for decades; I would never give that up for anything that didn't hurt me deeply," he stood up as he looked into her eyes. "You thought that I was growing bored? Why didn't you talk to me? Why did you have to take it to that level?"

Rukia shook her head. "We're distant…" she moved closer to him.

"You made us distant…" Renji scowled, he couldn't look her in the eyes.

"We fight all the time…" Rukia's voice was shaking.

"We've always fought; you're the only woman in the world who can scream louder than I can…" he looked into her eyes seeing the sorrow.

"I didn't want to fight with you. I've never wanted to fight with you."

"If you don't fight then what's the point of being together. We could agree on everything and you'd only wonder what was going on in my head, wondering if I ever wanted to revert back to my old ways. But it doesn't matter because you gave up on us."

"You gave up. You were the one who pushed me away."

"You gave me no damn choice. How was I supposed to react to hearing from Kira that you kissed Ichigo? Do you know how many times I've thought about that? How many times I've thought about you and that boy…?" he choked on his words. "I was a practice run… you were rehearsing for him. That's why you fucked me…"

"I hate you so much right now…"

"I hate myself for thinking for a second that anything we had was real. This was just a game to you. I was just your toy. Did you have fun?" he looked down at the bottle. "Do you enjoy what you've made me: a worthless alcoholic?" he looked into her eyes seeing the tears forming. "Take a good look because this is what you wanted."

She let out a small sob. "Renji I love you. I'm so sorry."

"And you think that's going to make me take you back? A half-assed apology?" Renji scoffed. "You're going to have to do better than that…"

Rukia bowed her head. "Renji, I've thought about it since yesterday. Last night was the first night that you were in my reach but you weren't by my side, and it was the worst hell I've ever been through. You're everything that I need in my life, without you… I'm nothing."

"Then get used to being nothing, Rukia. I'm not coming back."

At that moment Renji knew this was all over.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hinamori walked into the 10th Division seeing Hitsugaya sitting at the desk, his attention falling on her as she closed the door behind her. She could feel the words that Hisagi said cutting through her like a knife. As she closed her eyes she could still see the scars that were on his wrist, still hearing the tears in his voice. Yet as she looked up at the captain she tried to hide all of her emotions.

"So?" he asked as she looked into her eyes.

She nodded as she walked closer to the desk.

"How many times?" he asked.

"Three…" she answered quietly

He sighed as he looked down at the papers. "Three? And you got him out of your system?"

She nodded. "I think so…"

"So you don't want to have sex with him again?" Hitsugaya asked, his eyes looking deep into Hinamori's eyes, but he knew something was wrong. "Are you alright?"

Hinamori couldn't focus, only one question on her mind. "Can you keep a secret?"

He nodded, his eyes full of concern. "What is it?"

She looked into his eyes as she remembered what he had said, remembered the look in his eyes as he said that he couldn't go any further than he already had. She remembered feeling him break down in her arms as she examined the scars that were on his wrists. She remembered feeling his body become limp as he fell into a state of deep slumber.

"_Because no one understands what is going on inside of me. The pain, the unbearable pain…"_

"Hisagi-san…" she swallowed on the words. "He…"

The door then opened as a voice interrupted them. "Hinamori-kun! There you are. I've been waiting for you to come back to the 5th Division…"

"Kira-kun?" she asked as she looked over her shoulder. "What the hell do you want?"

"I want to talk to you about Hisagi-san…"

"_Kira made me want to live and when he left me, I was devastated. But that night I wasn't trying to… kill myself, but I've had my lows…"_

She narrowed her eyes, her voice in a roar as she looked into the 3rd Division captain's eyes. "You have no right to know what's going on in his mind. You shouldn't even look at him, you worthless dog!"

Kira raised an eyebrow, his voice suspicious. "What the hell did you do?"

"_Me_?" she shook her head. "I have nothing to do with the scars on his wrists. I have nothing to do with how he cried in my arms for an hour this morning. I have nothing to do with how he's bathed himself in sake every moment since you left him. You're the one who hurt him. You're the one who's made him a suicidal wreck!"

Kira's eyes were wide as he looked into Hinamori's eyes, his breathing stopping. "_Suicide_? When? When did he try to do this?"

"None of your concern…" Hitsugaya interrupted. "We all know that you don't care about him…"

"I was there for him, when he needed _you_…" Hinamori growled, watching Kira freeze in place. "But you turned your back on him because you're scared. You're scared because you know that you're going to lose him. But your ignoring him is killing him even faster…"

Kira shook his head, fighting the tears that were in his eyes. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you need to know," Hitsugaya answered.

"_You _want him dead anyway!" Kira's voice broke as he looked at the 10th Division captain. "This is your doing, not mine. You, Kyouraku, Soi Fong, Zaraki, Kurotsuchi, all of you want him dead anyway, so what does it matter to any of you?"

Hinamori shook her head. "I know what he's been through, Kira-kun; I know that you hurt him because I can still taste his tears…"

Kira narrowed his eyes. "So you… and him?"

"What does it matter to you? You're _not_ his boyfriend, so why the hell do you care what or whom he does? That night when he took that walk with you _that_ was your chance to admit your feelings. You revoked any claim on him the moment you walked away," Hinamori shook her head.

Kira shook his head. "You said that if I was only going to hurt him I should let him go. All I do is hurt the people I care about, Hinamori-kun. I was trying to spare him from the pain…"

"If that's what you wanted to do, how do you think you did?"

Kira shook his head again, hate filling his voice. "You bitch…"

"I can't forgive you for what you did to him. The scars, the tears, the drinking, you've destroyed him, Kira…"

Kira choked on his words. "Stop saying that. He's fine…"

"Then why don't you go find him?"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi walked through the halls of the 10th Division, seeing Matsumoto carrying a pile of papers. He ran his fingers along the necklace that as around his neck, his eyes meeting hers as she froze. The sound of papers hitting the ground filled the air as the papers scattered, Matsumoto's body moving to embrace Hisagi's. He lingered in her embrace, his arms wrapping around her body as he could feel her start to tremble.

"I thought you were never going to leave the 9th Division," she whispered.

"Well I had to give something back to you…" he moved his hands to undo the clasp of Matsumoto's necklace, moving it from his neck. "As promised…"

She moved to grasp the necklace, a smile on her face. "I was waiting for this moment…"

"I know you were," he took a deep breath. "I guess this means I'm alive…"

"Some of us needed reassurance about that."

He shook his head. "I don't know what Kira's told you…"

"He hasn't told me anything. I don't speak to Kira anymore…" her voice trailed off. "All I know is that he lied to me. He really screwed with us…"

"Tell me about it…" Hisagi's eyes avoided hers. "What did he tell you?"

Her eyes were sparkling with the onset of tears, her eyes sparkling as he spoke, her voice low. "He said that he loved you…"

Hisagi felt as though the world was about to stop. Everything froze. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. His heart had stopped. The words echoed in his ears as he thought back to their first kiss, to their moment in the 9th Division. Every smile, every laugh, everything that they had ever shared in front of his eyes as he heard those words all ending with Kira walking away from him, his heart breaking as he was back in the moment. He felt the first breath escape his lips, looking up to see Matsumoto holding back tears.

"I thought he was going to…"

Hisagi took another deep breath. "Rangiku-san…"

"Never in a thousand years…"

"It's okay," he moved to wipe one of her tears away. "You don't have to worry about me…" his finger stopped as he looked deeper into her eyes. "I'll be alright…"

She closed her eyes. "Shuuhei… promise me that you'll be alright…"

"_Promise me that you will come back to me safely, Isai-san…"_

He looked deep into her eyes. "I promise…"

At that moment, he lost control of his senses moving closer to her until he possessively took her lips. Everything stopped as he kissed at her, the moment completely clouding his judgment. He pushed her into the wall, their feet brushing up against the papers as his hands pinned her to the wall, her arms wrapping around his body. He closed his eyes tightly as he kissed her, his mind going back to the moment outside underneath the stars, her lips starting to taste like Kira's, the sweet taste of innocence taking his mouth over.

"Hisagi-san?" a voice called out.

Hisagi backed away from Matsumoto's lips to see who was speaking to him, his heart racing as he saw the man who had ruined his life, the man who had broken him. There before him was the 3rd Division captain, his eyes wide with disbelief as he looked back and forth between Hisagi and Matsumoto. His heart was breaking as he looked at what was happening, but in the first time in his life Hisagi no longer cared about Kira's feelings.

Kira's voice was almost silent. "I see you're feeling better."

"I'm feeling _much_ better," Hisagi breathed, narrowing his eyes at Kira.

Kira shook his head all of the anger in his body exploding on the 9th Division captain. "Have you lost your mind?"

"No, I haven't lost my mind…" Hisagi looked deep into Kira's eyes. "Why? Are you upset about this? Are you upset about all of the fun I've been having without you?"

Kira's voice was thick with acid. "Cutting your wrists doesn't sound like fun to me…" Hisagi froze in place. "Why didn't you tell me that you've been hurting yourself?"

"Maybe because you didn't give me enough time to tell you…" Hisagi hissed, his eyes avoiding Kira's. "And that was told to Hinamori in confidence…"

"Just shows you how much you should trust Hinamori…"

"And I should trust _you_?" Hisagi asked turning away from him. "_You_ who purposely hurt me? _You_ who has never taken me seriously? _You_ who has never once in his life thought about _my_ feelings and what _I_ want?"

"Someone like me who didn't sleep with someone else while you were gone…"

Hisagi shook his head as he walked away from Kira. "I don't believe you…" he turned around acknowledging the 10th Division lieutenant. "I'll see you around Rangiku…"

Kira followed him, his voice filled with annoyance. "Hinamori slept with Hitsugaya twice while you were gone…"

Hisagi shook his head as he stopped, turning to look into Kira's eyes. "That's how you're going to get back at me? Tell me shit I already know? Why are you trying to hurt me? Why?" he watched as Kira's face filled with horror. "Do you enjoy this? And why? Because I stole Hinamori from you? You messed up my life because I stole a girl from you?" Hisagi scoffed. "That's sick…"

"Messed up _your_ life?"

"Yeah, messed up _my_ life. You were the one who kissed me. I'd never done _anything_ like that before. I've never even _looked_ at a man like that before. But then you come waltzing into the picture and you turn everything upside down. It was all a joke to you…"

"A joke? You think I wanted you to look at me like that? Never in my life did I ever think this was going to happen. You were always a thousand steps ahead of me. We were on different planets. When I kissed you… it was wrong."

"So I'm wrong?" Hisagi turned to walk away. "You really know what to say to make me walk away from you…"

At that moment, Hisagi was grabbed by his wrist, pushed forcefully into the wall of the 10th Division, Kira's lips violently colliding with his. Hisagi closed his eyes tightly as he felt Kira's tongue pass his lips. Hisagi's wrists were pinned to the wall, as the kiss increased in passion, Hisagi's body trembling as their lips separated.

"I'm sorry…"

Hisagi shook his head as he fought out of Kira's grip. "You thought that kissing me was going to make everything better? You threw me away when I needed you the most. All I wanted was something here that wanted me to live. Something to make me feel the way I did before I…" he pressed his hand up against his chest. "But there's nothing left of me, is there? Only this body, only my face, but the ones around me… they don't see me the same way. And to you I'm just… I'm _nothing_…"

He walked down the corridors of the 10th Division. "Hisagi-san…"

"Don't follow me," Hisagi kept walking forward. "We're done here…"

As he walked away from Kira he could feel everything inside of him start to burn, his body involuntarily shuddering as he fell deeper into the pain. He could forgive Tousen for stabbing him; it was his own fault anyway. He could forgive the 4th Division for giving him Aizen's heart; they were trying to save his life. Yet when it came to Kira, he was all out of forgiveness. There was no more to give.

He walked out of the building, a pain rolling through his chest, his hand moving to press against the pain, numbing it just a little. He then started walking toward the 9th Division. His world was starting to fall apart.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Nanao walked into the 8th Division, looking around sensing something wasn't right. Ever since the night where Ukitake came to talk to Kyouraku about what had been occurring within these walls, nothing seemed the same. She walked closer to the office as she could sense the reiatsu of someone familiar.

"Ayasegawa-fukutaichou?" she asked looking around. "I know you're here…"

Yumichika walked out of a corner. "You're observant. Not even your captain noticed me…"

Nanao shook her head. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm keeping watch on your division, making sure you don't do anything drastic…"

Nanao hated those words. She knew what this was all about; she had heard talk all over the Soul Society. No one trusted the 8th Division, how could they trust something that was lead by a man who wanted to rip a fellow captain's heart out of his chest, a decorated war hero at that. Every word only talked poorly about her captain, and the whole Gotei 13 had turned their back on them, even the few captains who agreed with Hisagi Shuuhei stepping down. As she looked at Kuchiki Byakuya's lieutenant she knew what was going on.

"What gave Kuchiki-taichou the right to spy on us?"

"Don't take it up with Kuchiki-taichou, Ukitake-soutaichou has given us permission."

"Ukitake-soutaichou? You must be mistaken…"

"The last time he was here, he said something didn't seem right and we're going to get to the bottom of this. If you don't like it, take it up with Ukitake-soutaichou or Kuchiki-taichou…"

She knew that Kuchiki Byakuya and Ukitake Juushirou had gotten closer over the past months, Kuchiki being involved with most of the huge decisions in the Gotei 13. There was a huge power struggle occurring and everyone was too blinded by the hysteria of Aizen's return to realize that Kuchiki was controlling the Soul Society with Ukitake as the face. This was the 8th Division's chance to redeem themselves. By restoring order they would show that they weren't the sleazy, backhanded men that they all thought they were. They were worth something.

"We will…" she breathed. "I can assure you, we will…"

* * *

The drama between Hisagi and Kira is going to ignite for the rest of this story, so I hope no one has a problem with that. As for Hinamori, her feelings for Hisagi are still going to make cameos every now and then (you didn't think I would destroy the main love traingle that easily did you?)

The drama between Renji and Rukia is going to last a while as well.

The next chapter the Soul Society finally gains more information about what occurred in Hueco Mundo and some of it may change thier lives forever. And Hisagi is going to find his life on the line. Also Kyouraku and Kuchiki have a blow up and reveals information that can change their bond forever.

And please leave feedback. I love it.

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request (see profile for details.)


	7. Chapter 7

**Pairings:** , Hisagi/Kira, slight: Ichigo x Rukia, Kyouraku/Ukitake, and Renji x Rukia, and references to non-con Aizen/Byakuya  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, some sexual content, talk of suicide, and some violence. Not to mention any errors that I may have left (this one is probably going to be terrible in that category).  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach, **Tite Kubo does.

* * *

"It's about time that we were able to sit down, just the three of us," Ukitake announced as he looked at the two captains. "Time to talk about the war that you just came back from…"

He looked at the captains seeing what the past week had done to them. First he looked at Hisagi Shuuhei, seeing a faint smile on his face, the smell of sake exuding off of him as he had obviously been drinking. He looked at the marks that were along his neck, they were obviously love bites. He had been taking his sorrow out on sexual thirst as well as being only slightly intoxicated to block out the sorrowful thoughts. His eyes looked straight at Ukitake as the captain commander talked. Abarai Renji was a different story.

As Ukitake looked at Renji he saw dark circles under his eyes, the stench of alcohol had become his aura. His eyes looked away as breathing seemed to have become difficult, his hands shaking as the need rolled through his body. Renji was dying right before Ukitake's eyes. Whereas Hisagi had kept himself occupied with destructive activities, Renji had wallowed in the sorrow.

"What did you two face?" Ukitake asked.

Renji spoke, his voice scratchy, smaller than usual. "We don't know…"

"You don't know?"

Hisagi took a deep breath, his voice trailing off as he pulled out the file. "Isane has many samples of blood, tissue, other bodily fluids," he looked into Ukitake's eyes, his own bloodshot due to lack of sleep. "You should find some answers in that…"

"And you two have no lasting effects?"

Renji shrugged. "Can't really tell…"

"We haven't really been able to feel anything since a week ago…" Hisagi explained. "You know why…"

Ukitake shook his head. "And the arrancar in Las Noches?"

"Killed," Renji wheezed. "Not a single one was left. The arrancar that Ichimaru Gin spoke of were most like murdered by him and Tousen Kaname before we got there. Nothing stood in our way except these creatures…"

"And this is what took you out?" Ukitake asked.

"He was bitten," Hisagi breathed heavily. "But there were no lasting effects. Abarai seems fine…"

"And have to been bitten?" Ukitake looked into Hisagi's eyes, watching the captain look away.

"Every one of the men who went got bit… I was no different…" Hisagi took a deep breath as he looked deeper into the captain commander's eyes. "My bite was different than Abarai's. His was crippling, life threatening, mine was not the case. He needed a blood transfusion, I didn't."

"You lost blood?" Ukitake watched as Renji looked at the ground.

"No, the blood was so badly damaged they drained most of my blood out and they replaced it…"

"With Hisagi's?"

"No!" Hisagi nearly stood up as if Ukitake had just said something unbelievable. "Not my blood…"

Ukitake looked at the two captains as Renji looked away from Hisagi, as the 9th Division captain glared directly into the captain commander's eyes. The two of thme had fallen apart, to the point where Ukitake knew that it was a mistake to send them into that world. They weren't the same captains that he had once known. They were zombies, something completely alien to what they used to be. Hisagi was once a calm, reserved individual, the rival of many of the shinigami for decades. Renji was once someone to be idolized, his courage was unrivaled. Yet both of them stared blankly into the distance as he spoke to him, both of them were broken beyond repair.

"Well I'm going to need some samples. Blood samples, skin samples, spinal fluid, anything that can show us the lasting effects."

Renji nodded. "You want us to go now?"

"Whenever you feel ready," Ukitake smiled. "And if you don't mind."

"I already have a request from Unohana-taichou to report to her immediately," Hisagi explained.

Renji looked over his shoulder. "More heart trouble?"

"I hope not," Hisagi didn't look over at him.

Ukitake then nodded at the two captains. "You both may go," he handed them two folders. "Give these to your lieutenants to explain to the others…"

Renji nodded coldly. "Will do…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Are you going to ignore me the rest of my time here?" Ichigo asked as he looked over at Rukia who was staring in the opposite direction of him.

She bowed her head as she took a deep breath, her eyes moving to look at him, the scorn almost stopping his heart. "I should have killed you after he let me…" she shook her head. "You've ruined everything…"

"_I_ ruined everything? You have to think of what's going through that ass clown's head if he's casting you aside…" Ichigo looked at the door. "He never wanted to be with you anyway…"

"Take that back," she shook her head. "You're just pissed because I loved him. I loved that man in there and you couldn't handle it…"

"I couldn't handle it?" he scoffed. "He was a matter of convenience, he always was…"

"He was everything to me!" Rukia argued, her voice breaking. "And after decades I was tired of running from him…" she closed his eyes tightly as tears started to form. "He was everything and I threw it away for you…"

Ichigo shook his head as he looked deeper into her eyes. "Don't tell me you don't feel anything for me…"

As she was about to speak the door opened, the two captains walking out. "Kuchiki!" Renji announced as he looked at Rukia. "I've this file for you…"

Ichigo shook his head as he noticed the way that Renji was treating Rukia, barely looking into her eyes as he handed her the file. Their hands almost touched as Renji finally looked into her eyes, the pain still within them. Ichigo could tell that Renji still loved her, he was always going to love her. But as he withdrew his hand, Renji's eyes no longer looked into his former fiancée's eyes, looking over at Ichigo.

"There's one for you too, _Casanova_…" Renji scowled at Ichigo before looking over at Hisagi. "Give it to him…"

Hisagi moved to hand him a file. "Address only what is in this file… it's all of the information that I collected when we were in Hueco Mundo…"

Rukia opened her file and saw the words that were written across it. "Blood transfusion?!" she looked up at her captain, her eyes wide. "What the fuck is this?"

Renji rolled his eyes. "You don't need to concern yourself with that…" he turned the page. "This is what you need to worry about. Eyewitness reports, death tolls, autopsies, that's what you're to be concerned with, not what happened to me…"

Rukia shook her head. "I didn't hear about any transfusions…"

"Well you didn't hear anything because we didn't have any conversation. As I recall the night when I was going to explain to you, this asshole," Ichigo froze as Renji pointed to him, "was too busy shoving his tongue down his throat to care about anything that we were going to discuss!"

The 13th Division lieutenant bowed her head as she heard her captain sigh in sorrow. "Just the facts, Abarai-taichou?"

Renji nodded. "Just the facts, Kuchiki-fukutaichou…"

Hisagi looked into Ichigo's eyes. "I know this is a lot to swallow your first couple of days, but you'll do fine. You've got all of the facts in front of you, all you have to do is read the facts off of the paper, the other lieutenants will lead the discussion," he smiled as he looked backed away. "Don't sweat it…"

"You seem pretty calm today, Hisagi-san…" Ichigo whispered.

Renji looked over at Ichigo as he rolled his eyes walking toward the door. "Come Rukia, I'll walk you to your meeting…"

As Rukia and Renji left, Hisagi looked over at Ichigo. "You should stop while you're ahead, Ichigo. Those two, they belong together, they'll forgive each other anytime now…"

Ichigo sighed as he looked into the distance, watching the 13th Division walk away. "You know that for sure?"

"They've been through a lot. I know that if anyone can make it through this, they can…" Hisagi looked away as the lieutenant tried to catch his glance. "They'll survive…"

Ichigo bowed his head as he watched his captain walk away. "At least someone's going to survive…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kyouraku walked into the 6th Division office as he looked straight into the captain's eyes. "What gives you the right to monitor my movements?"

Kuchiki looked up at the 8th Division captain, rolling his eyes. "I don't have time for this, Kyouraku…"

"Who do you think you are, Byakuya?" he walked deeper into the office as she closed the door behind him. "Nanao noticed some of your men watching us. I thought it was a coincidence until I saw men from your division all over the place. You really have sunk low."

Kuchiki scoffed. "I've sunk low, do you have any idea why I've ordered my men to patrol that area. Because now that Hisagi Shuuhei is back from war, alive without a scratch, I know that you want to tear him limb from limb. I know you want his heart…"

Kyouraku shook his head. "I would never…"

"How am I supposed to know that? Remember, you were the one who started the pandemonium that allowed Ichimaru, Tousen, and Aizen penetrate our walls before. You were the one who arrested four lieutenants and a captain; none of them are going to forget that. I won't forget that," Kuchiki shook his head. "Because of you I have this…" he placed his hand over the scar that Aizen had left him with. "Your antics caused more than you think."

"You can't blame me for what happened…"

"So you're saying that I asked for it?" Kuchiki asked. Kyouraku knew that they were talking about different things. "You're saying that I wanted him to do that to me?"

Kyouraku took a second to connect the dots. Everything was coming back to his memory: the photos, the markings on Byakuya's body, the aftermath of the attack. Before now he thought that Renji was crazy for even suggesting that, thinking it was too far of a stretch, but now as he looked into Kuchiki Byakuya's eyes, he knew everything that he had feared was all real.

"So it's true. The rumors…"

Kuchiki closed his eyes tightly. "What are you trying to get at?"

"He…" Kyouraku's voice fell away from his reach. "Aizen… he raped you…"

Kuchiki scoffed, shaking his head. "You're so…"

"Byakuya… I'm so sorry…"

The 6th Division captain shook his head. "Why? You didn't do it…"

Kyouraku took a deep breath. "Whatever pain you're in, I know I will never understand it, but I want you to know that you can't take it out on me…"

Kuchiki shook his head. "Your arrogance is huge, Kyouraku…"

The older captain still couldn't find his voice as he looked deeper into Kuchiki's eyes. "Byakuya, what am I to you? Why do you hate me so?"

"Because you're going to punish the wrong man for these crimes," Kuchiki didn't waste moment to explain what he was feeling. "You think that's going to make everything better? You think that's going to erase the damage? That boy didn't do anything except get stabbed in the chest. And you want to execute him as if he was the one who started the invasion."

Kyouraku shook his head as he tried to avoid the anger that was going through him. "You don't know about that power in his chest…"

"Neither do _you_!" Kuchiki's voice pierced through Kyouraku's heart. "That boy isn't Aizen. He never was. He never will be. He's worked so hard to try to prove to people like you that he's different. He's fought for us, almost died for us, and yet you still treat him like Aizen…"

"And like you wouldn't do the same thing if he didn't damage you as much as he did…" Kyouraku's voice filled with an anger her never thought her had within him. "You don't know what it's like living in fear that one man can take everything for you. Yamamoto is _dead_, a man that was like a father to me is _dead_! It's only a matter of time before he steals Ukitake from me…"

"And you don't think I care about Ukitake? He's been there for me since the beginning, he's never turned his back on me," Kuchiki shook his head. "And he's not going to turn his back on Hisagi Shuuhei. He knows that boy has nothing to do with any of this. It's not his fault that any of this happened. We gave him that transplant so he could have a second chance at life. Now as I see it he was better of dead that day. He was better of dying in Iba Tetsuzaemon's arms…"

Kyouraku shook his head. "Don't say that…"

"Why not? You have no dominion over me, Shunsui. Never have, never will. I will not live in a world where you are above me. And now I don't have to. You're not the next soutaichou. You can't lead these people," Kuchiki looked deeply into Kyouraku's eyes. "I know this because I'm the next soutaichou, and I'll be damned if you ever rise to that power. I'm over a thousand years younger than you but so far ahead of you…"

Kyouraku shook his head. "You're making a mistake doing this to me…"

"Are you threatening me?" Kuchiki's eyes narrowed as he looked at the 8th Division captain. "Because that could very bad for any future you ever thought you had."

Kyouraku looked deep into Kuchiki Byakuya's eyes. The war had begun.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ichigo sat down at the lieutenant meeting looking around to see the other lieutenants looking straight at him. His body froze as he held the file in his hand. _Just the facts, that's what Hisagi-san told you. The facts. _He looked down at the file, being snapped out of his mental process by Ise Nanao.

"What do the reports say?" she asked. "Anything of substance?"

"Everything of substance," Rukia announced as she dropped the file to the table. "From the moment they arrived to the moment they left, every injury, every fight, it's all in here…"

"I never thought Abarai would do well at documenting…" Ikkaku chuckled.

"Well Hisagi-taichou was the one who did most of that," Rukia answered as she looked over at the 1st Division lieutenant. "But Abarai-taichou's testimony is extremely important."

"Abarai-taichou?" Ikkaku shook his head as confusion filled his eyes. "You call your fiancé Abarai-taichou?"

Rukia shook her head as her eyes avoided him. "We've broken up…"

Ichigo slammed his file to the table as he looked around the room seeing the look of shock in their eyes as they looked upon Rukia. "We didn't come here to discuss Rukia's lack of relationship with Renji. We've come here to talk about this war," he opened the file. "The war where approximately a thousand people lost their lives. Both Hisagi-taichou and Abarai-taichou were wounded in the battle…"

Matsumoto spoke out. "Any lasting effects?"

"They seem fine," Rukia answered.

"The 4th Division along with the 12th Division are running through the samples that were taken from Abarai-taichou's body as well as taking many samples from both Abarai-taichou and Hisagi-taichou to see any lasting effects of the bites," Isane explained.

"Bites?" Matsumoto asked.

"Abarai-taichou received a severe bite to the neck and Hisagi-taichou received minor bites to the wrist and neck," the 4th Division lieutenant.

Matsumoto shook her head as she heard those words. "And where are they now?"

"Hisagi-taichou is with my captain. Apparently, he's been complaining of chest pain…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Unohana pressed her hand against his chest, hearing the captain wince. "Hurts?"

He nodded as he took a deep breath. "A little…"

The 4th Division captain pressed his hand harsher at his chest as he continued to react. "It seems as though your heart has swollen," she looked into the 9th Division captain's eyes as she removed her hand. "Have you been taking your meds?"

"Of course, you explained them clearly to me. Those are the only things that are keeping my body and Aizen's spiritual power working as one. I stop taking those and I'll lose the heart," Hisagi's voice trailed off as he looked away from the older captain. "It's just in pain…"

She looked at the vials of blood that she had pulled from him and then looked at him staring at her. The moment where he was brought into her care came back to her, the moment where he was nothing more than a bloody mess outside of the 4th Division. At that moment Unohana looked down at the files and took a deep breath.

"On a scale from one to ten, ten being the most pain you've ever been in and one being the least, what would you rate the waves of pain?"

Hisagi closed his eyes as he sighed. "Seven."

"Seven?"

"Is my heart really swollen?" his voice was full of worry.

"To about twice its size…" she answered watching his eyes look straight at the ground. "But we'll make it go down. I'm going to need to run some tests and if worst comes to worst I'm going to have to take some tissue from your heart."

"More surgery?" he asked, his voice quiet.

"If it comes to that…" she repeated as she pulled out an IV. "Right now I'm going to need you to stay here so I can run some tests while you're asleep."

Hisagi's face was blank as he looked into the distance. "Okay…"

At that moment she knew everything that was going through his mind. Fear, confusion, hopelessness, everything that he had once held dear was slowly falling from his grasp. As she pushed the IV needle into him, he didn't even flinch, his eyes looking forward, staring blankly. He moved to lie on the bed, his eyes looking up at the ceiling as a single tear formed in his eye, falling down his cheek.

"I'll leave you to yourself," she moved to grasp his hand. "Get some rest…"

As she walked out of the room, she saw a familiar face, his voice calling out to her. "How is he?"

She shook her head. "He's not doing so well, Komamura-taichou," she looked down at the files. "His heart has swollen to twice its original size."

"Will he live?" the 7th Division captain asked, his voice quiet.

"It's hard to tell at this point. But with the way that he's been describing the pain it's obvious that this is a serious problem."

"And it's not the medication?"

"No, the bond between Aizen and Hisagi is absolute, there's no problem there. The level of Aizen's power is exactly the same and is under control. I have no clue what it could be that caused this to occur."

As Komamura was about to answer, Unohana was shocked to see another captain running toward them. "Unohana-taichou…"

"Kira-taichou, you know better than to just come running…"

The 3rd Division captain's eyes fell onto the file. "What's happening to him?"

"I don't think it's any of your concern…" Komamura interrupted. "For all we know it could have been you who put him in there. With all the stress that you've put him under it's no wonder he' sick."

"Hisagi-san's sick?" Kira's voice shook. "How?"

Unohana couldn't hide from Kira, much to Komamura's annoyance. "His heart has swollen…"

"Have you tried draining some of the fluid out of the tissues?" Kira asked as he looked into her eyes. "That could relieve the strain. But first thing first, how would you describe the rhythm?"

"It's borderline tachycardia, and when he does have an episode, the heart stops completely."

"So he's trying to reject it?"

Komamura joined the conversation. "Or is Aizen trying to make him reject it?"

"Aizen's dead," Kira stated bluntly. "To even think that he's still alive is completely absurd. We were all there when he was killed. We carved his heart out of his chest. We burned the body. The only thing that remains of that man is beating in Hisagi's chest. Don't tell me you actually believe what Kyouraku has been saying. The man's a psycho," he looked through the doorway to see Hisagi drifting off into slumber. "How close together are the pains?"

"Unpredictable…" Unohana answered. "He says in Hueco Mundo they were the worst he's ever had."

Kira looked at the file. "So how are we going to correct this?"

"The only option we have is to collect a direct sample…" Unohana answered.

"You're going to open him up again?" Kira shook his head. "Do you know the risk you could put on him. If you do something wrong you could cause the heart to be rejected. You could make the problem worse. You could kill him. Do you think we can take that risk?"

"He could die if you do nothing," Komamura added. "Without testing the swollen tissue, we're not going to know just how serious this is."

Kira shook his head. "No! The 4th Division has caused him enough pain! You aren't going to touch him!"

"Who put you in charge of Hisagi?" Komamura asked. "As I recall you washed your hands of him a week ago. Since then you have renounced your claim on him. He doesn't belong to you. He never did… and it's not like you even care about him."

"How dare you! I care about him. I let him go because I do care about him. He's falling apart and I don't want to cause him any more pain. But you can't keep him from me. If he is dying, I don't want the last moment that we shared to be so heartbreaking…" Kira's eyes were watering. "I'm begging you, Unohana-taichou. Try to find another way to run tests on him. Don't take him away from me again."

Komamura shook his head as a voice came from the room they were standing in front of. "I can't relax with all of that yelling out there. So if you could do me a favor and remove Kira from the premises I would be greatly obliged."

Kira looked into the room, his eyes falling on the half conscious man. "Hisagi-san."

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked, his eyes looking at Kira. "Come to watch me die?"

"Hisagi-san…"

"Please get him out of here," Hisagi turned away, not wanting to look at Kira, his eyes closing tightly.

Komamura grasped Kira's shoulder. "Come on…"

Kira shook his head. "I'm sorry, Hisagi-san! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. How many times do I have to say it for you to forgive me?"

Hisagi shook his head. "Say it all you want. I can't hear you…"

Unohana watched as Kira was carried out of the division, her eyes falling onto Hisagi. "Are you sure you want to get rid of him?"

"I'm positive. After all I'm better off alone…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

"So the bites are what could be causing their problems?" Matsumoto asked. "It could be behind the pain that Hisagi's going through?"

Isane nodded as she looked at the 10th Division lieutenant. "Yes and no. The pains started before he was bitten, when they were first infiltrating the palace. Our main diagnosis has to due with his collapsed ribcage."

Iba sat up as he heard those words. "And you think that could cause the pain?"

"You don't think he's having a heart attack?" Sentarou asked.

"A three month long heart attack?" Nanao raised an eyebrow. "He'd be dead by now. You're sure it has nothing to do with the poison?"

"Hisagi was clean, no poison was in his blood," Isane breathed.

"And you're sure this has nothing to do with Aizen?" Ichigo asked.

All of the lieutenants turned to him, looking at him in confusion. The room went silent as he felt awkward. Did he say something that wasn't allowed? He remembered that they said Aizen wasn't necessarily dead. As he looked around the table, he was broken out of his fear as Rukia spoke.

"That' the dumbest shit I've ever heard!" she scowled. "Aizen? Aizen is _dead_!"

"And you said he had sixty percent of his power, maybe it's causing damage to his heart," Ichigo continued. "Hisagi-san has always been strong, but his body isn't able to hold that much power. Aizen was ridiculously powerful, that amount of power would cause anyone's heart to fail."

Isane looked deep into Ichigo's eyes. "The stabilizers aren't strong enough…"

"So it's starting to break the bond," Iba added.

"Which is causing the pain…" Matsumoto smiled as she finally understood.

Yumichika shook his head, still confused. "But what triggered it?"

"Remnants of Aizen's power," Nemu finally spoke, eberyone's attention turning to her in a huge wave of movement. "The remnants of Aizen's power were enough to break the bond of Aizen's power to Hisagi-taichou's body. Tousen Kaname said that if Hisagi-taichou ever came into contact with Aizen's power he would feel a degree of pain."

"But for the pain to be this intense he would have to have come into contact with at least forty percent of Aizen's strength. That's the rest of it, the amount that died with him," Isane explained, her eyes wide as she processed her words.

"And when you die you go to…" Matsumoto stared blankly as it dawned on her.

Rukia nearly choked as she said the words. "Hueco Mundo…"

"Ukitake-soutaichou sent him right into the center of disaster…" Iba shook his head as he slammed his hands to the table. "Damn it…"

Ichigo then connected the dots. "So Aizen could be in his chest right now…"

The lieutenants became silent as they thought about those words. After everything that they had heard, everything that they had argued over, their worst nightmares were coming true. At that moment they knew that something terrible had just come to light. Aizen Sousuke was still alive.

* * *

This chapter is showing how Hueco Mundo is going to change how they all run forever. The affects of the bites is going to become more and more clear as time goes by and what happened to Renji and Hisagi in Hueco Mundo as well as what is going on with Aizen.

The next chapter is going to go deeper into Hisagi's condition and his relationship with Kira while Kyouraku and Ukitake have a blowup that keeps them against each other and Ichigo is at wit's end with Renji.

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request (see profile for details.)

Also feel free to review.


	8. Chapter 8

**Pairings:** Hisagi/Kira, slight: Ichigo x Rukia and Ichigo/Orihime, Kyouraku/Ukitake, and Renji x Rukia, and references to Kaien/Ukitake and non-con Aizen/Byakuya  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, some sexual content, talk of suicide, and some violence. Not to mention any errors that I may have left (this one is probably going to be terrible in that category, and I've been away from this for a while).  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach, **Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Kira walked back into the 4th Division standing the doorway of Hisagi's room, looking at him as he slept on the bed in the center of the room. He moved closer hearing the soothing sound of Hisagi's breathing, his chest moving softly with every respiration. As Kira finally stood by his side, a smile came to his face. Hisagi looked so peaceful, something that Kira thought he would never see again. He moved to touch Hisagi's hand, sliding his fingers between his as he held it in his grasp. Kira closed his eyes tightly as he fell to his knees at his former friend's side.

"I didn't want us to part like this…" Kira shook his head. "I never wanted you to die when I was so far away. I've always thought… I always wished we would die hand in hand, that we'd die together…" he chuckled at his words, understanding the naïveté. "It's funny how every time… you're always leaving me, and I have to stand here and watch… I don't want to watch anymore."

He held onto the hand tighter, Hisagi taking a deep breath as if he were about to awaken. But he remained in his peaceful slumber. Kira closed his eyes as he took in the situation, looking at the scar that was on his chest, and then remembering all of the words that were said about Hisagi's situation. His heart was swollen. Somehow something had gone wrong; something had destroyed all of the progress he had made. Kira felt a tear form in his eye as he heard those words in his mind.

"Hisagi-san… had I known…" he felt his body tremble. "Had a known that you were going to come home and die… I would have never done this… I would never have left you," he choked on his words. "I love you…" he swallowed hard. "I love you, Hisagi Shuuhei… and I never wanted to do this to you…"

He couldn't hold back his cries anymore as he knew that everything that he had done was so childish. He had run away because he wanted Hisagi to be all that he could be, but in the process all he saw was a man the he loved fall into decay, his old self dead and buried. As Kira held his hand he could feel Hisagi tighten his grip on him, taking a deep breath.

"I know you're there Kira…" Hisagi breathed.

Kira took a deep breath. "I know you do…" he looked into Hisagi's eyes. "Please don't kick me out."

"How many times have I kicked you out of here already?"

Kira smiled as more tears rolled down his cheeks. "Four times… but I have to see you…" he held onto his hand tighter. "How are you feeling?"

Hisagi looked away from him. "Better physically. _Emotionally_…?"

"I know… I really fucked with you…" Kira shook his head. "I know I was wrong. I'll admit that. And I'm sorry…"

"You can't come waltzing in here and think that you can just cast this all aside with a single sorry," Hisagi scoffed, unable to look Kira in the eye. "You have no idea what I've been through since then. You have no idea how much you've hurt me… you _and_ Hinamori…"

"I know… I know you're mad at me kissing her…"

"I can forgive you for that… what I can't forgive you for is throwing me away… after all that we've been through… I thought…"

"Hisagi-san…" he shook his head as he looked at the 9th Division captain. "I know you'll never forgive me. But I'm so sorry for everything that I've _ever_ done to you. I'm sorry for all of the pain that I've put you through. I'm sorry for hurting you. I know that I'm never going to earn your forgiveness, but yet as I look at you I really want it. I know it's horrible of me. But I want you to forgive me…"

Hisagi took a deep breath as he shook his head. "I can't forgive you, Kira… how can I forgive you?"

Kira finally said what he should have said a long time ago. "Because I love you…"

Hisagi looked into Kira's eyes, his body freezing. "What did you just say?"

Kira repeated himself. "I love you, Hisagi Shuuhei…"

Hisagi hand tightened against Kira's as he took a deep breath, coughing as water started to roll down his cheeks. Kira watched as Hisagi's breathing became ragged. All Kira could remember after that as Him leaving the room as many members of the 4th Division entered the room. Hisagi's condition was only going to get worse than what they thought it was.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Iba walked into the 7th Division office as he looked at his captain who was looking out the window. "Did you hear the news?"

Komamura didn't even look over his shoulder to look at his lieutenant. "Yes, Hisagi has suffered a severe heart attack, right?"

Iba nodded. "That's true… I've just hear from Unohana-taichou that this is only going to get worse. Do you think that all hope is lost?"

Komamura remembered what he had said to Tousen. He told him that he was going to take care of him. He told him that Hisagi was going to be safe. Yet now as he heard everything that had been going on with Hisagi, he knew that all of the promises meant nothing. All of the moments that passed made his mind go back to the day when his hands were pressed up against Hisagi's chest, feeling the life slip from underneath his fingers.

"Hope isn't lost…" Komamura looked over his shoulder briefly at his lieutenant. "We just need to know what's going on…"

Iba sighed. "We lieutenants have come up with a theory. The stabilizers that he's taking are not enough…"

"Unohana-taichou swears that those were to be enough. Something has to be weakening his bond with Aizen's power, and outside source," he then knew what it was, it dawned on him. "Those beasts… he was bitten by one while he was in Hueco Mundo, am I correct…"

"Yes," Iba nodded. "Why? Is that relevant?"

Komamura took a deep breath. "_Extremely_."

Iba then spoke up. "Maybe we should just let him go. Hisagi's in pain. Maybe if we were to let him…"

"No, we're not going to give up on him. We're not going to let him die, Tetsuzaemon…"

"I know the pain you're going through. I felt the man die in my arms, taichou. I know that this has been really hard for the both of us. We've had to watch someone that we tried desperately to save, someone that we sacrificed everything for die," Iba walked closer to his captain. "I know what it feels like to watch something and not know what to do. We're together on this, taichou…"

"Tetsuzaemon," Komamura looked out the window. "There's a war going on out there… a war that none of us are prepared for. A war where we're going to have to shed our own blood to get what we want…"

Komamura took a deep breath. The second civil war had started, but this time the smell of death was in the air.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Ukitake!" Kyouraku shouted as he walked into the 1st Division.

He looked to see Ukitake sitting down with Kuchiki Byakuya standing by his side. Kyouraku looked deep into the 6th Division captain's eyes, remembering the torture that he had put his division through. He had spied on them, their trust being broken. He looked over to see Ukitake looking straight at him confusion within his vision.

"What is it, Kyouraku?" Ukitake asked, a small smile on his face.

Kyouraku looked over at Byakuya, his anger boiling over. "Ask _him_…"

Ukitake raised an eyebrow, his body tensing. "I'm sorry?"

"He has his men stationed outside of my division…" Kyouraku looked into Kuchiki Byakuya's eyes, the 6th Division captain not even flinching at the anger that was being hurled at him.

Kuchiki shook his head, a sarcastic laugh passing his lips. "Is that all you care about these days? You think with how much you've screwed up, you'd be more focused on getting yourself out of that hole…"

"You'd like me to do that wouldn't you?" Kyouraku shook his head. "Is Kurotsuchi right, are you two having sex?"

"What?" Ukitake asked, his eyes lighting up. "Kyouraku Shunsui!"

"Are you?" Kyouraku awaited his answer.

Ukitake shook his head, his body visibly shaking in anger. "What the hell kind of question is that?"

Kyouraku narrowed his eyes at Kuchiki. "I'm not going to go easy on you because Aizen almost raped you… I'm not going to let you go from being Aizen's whore to Ukitake's…"

"Whore?" Ukitake almost rose from his chair. "What the hell has gotten into you?"

"What the hell has gotten into you?" Kyouraku looked into Ukitake's dark eyes seeing no fear within them as he looked over his shoulder at Kuchiki as Kyouraku pointed at him. "You let _him_ spy on me?"

Ukitake's body was still as he sighed. "It's for your own good…"

"For my own good?" Kyouraku slammed his hands against Ukitake's desk. "Is it for my good or _your_ good? You already won the war of Yama-jii's affections; you don't have to act cute anymore."

"Act cute?" Ukitake stood up to look into Kyouraku's eyes. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You wanted to become soutaichou after all that we've been through so you can have everything your way. And then this man comes in and does only God knows what to make you think that everything he says is law," Kyouraku looked at Kuchiki. "Are you fighting for Ukitake's pride or _your_ pride when you spy on me?"

"Are you fighting for your pride or Hisagi's pride when you threatened to kill him? Because you're certainly not fighting for _mine_. I was there. I heard what you said. You want to pull that heart out of his chest. You want him dead more than anyone else," Ukitake took a deep breath. "So don't come running in here and expect me to say yes to all of your requests."

"What if I sleep with you? Does that make you respond better?" Kyouraku could feel Ukitake's muscles tensing as he said those words.

"What are you talking about?" Ukitake knew what was going on here. He knew what Kyouraku was going to say.

"I know what you did with Shiba Kaien…" Kyouraku looked deep into Ukitake's eyes.

Ukitake's eyes narrowed as his voice was filled with toxin, burnig through Kyouraku's veins. "Don't go there, Shunsui…"

Kuchiki shook his head. "What about Shiba Kaien?"

"That's enough, Kyouraku!" Ukitake's eyes burned as he looked into Kyouraku's eyes.

Kyouraku paid him no head. "Ukitake slept with Kaien… and now you're trying to do the same thing to get Byakuya on your side…"

Ukitake fell back in his chair as he closed his eyes tightly, burying his face in his hands as Kuchiki stared blankly into the distance. It was only then when Kyouraku knew what he had done. He looked down at his friend, hearing his breathing start to become heavy, Kuchiki's hand to run along his back. At that moment everything had finally sunk in, he finally took in what he had said.

"Byakuya… you may continue your surveillance on the 8th Division," he looked up into Kyouraku's eyes, both of them freezing as he heard the next words. "As for you… you're lucky I haven't taken your title. But I feel generous. As your friend… the final token of our friendship… I will let you leave with your position and your head. But one more slip up, and one of them will be pulled from you with my own hands."

Kyouraku shook his head. "Ukitake…"

"You may be one of the oldest and strongest captains in the Gotei 13, but if I wanted… I could rip your heart out of your chest and crush it in my hand, just like you want to do to Hisagi-kun. _Understood_?" Ukitake hissed.

Kyouraku shook his head again. "Ukitake…"

"You come in here, insult Byakuya, and then you insult me and you expect me to call it off. Kuchiki isn't the only one who has a problem. Komamura wanted me to relieve you a long time ago… Hinamori thinks that you're a psychopath… and Kira… you don't even want to know what Kira has to say about you…. you already know Abarai's…"

Kyouraku shook his head. "Then why don't you make me step down? If you hate me…"

"I don't hate you…" Ukitake interrupted. "I think you can get out of this… I think that you can save yourself from this mess you've made…"

"He's the only one…" Kuchiki scoffed.

"You're not in charge yet, Byakuya…"

Kuchiki snorted. "I'm higher up then you are…"

"Easy Byakuya…" Ukitake breathed heavily. "Can you please escort Kyouraku-taichou out of my office and make sure that he stays in the 8th Division until sunset."

Kyouraku looked into Ukitake's eyes. The last person to support him had just turned his back on him. He was walking down a road all by himself. There was no salvation for him.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira sat outside of the room where Hisagi was laying, the sounds of yelling finally falling into silence. He closed his eyes tightly as he could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks as he knew what was going on. Hisagi was dying, there was no denying that, and the last moments that they shared were filled with hate, filled with horrible disgust for one another.

_I shouldn't have said any of that to him. I'm an idiot. After all the hate… I'm losing him. _He closed his eyes tighter as he remembered hearing the sound of blood passing Hisagi's lips, the lips that had kissed so passionately on many occasions. He closed his eyes as he knew that the man who meant the world to him, the man that he loved was slowly leaving him.

He had sat through the spikes of his reiatsu, unable to even fathom what as going on within those walls. He sighed as he ran his hands through his hair, his whole body shaking. _Please be okay. Survive… survive!_

His hand tightened in his hair as he heard the door open, Isane walking out. She looked tired as blood stained her clothes. Her body was shaking as she moved closer to Kira. It was at that moment where she smiled.

"He's going to be fine…" she answered as she moved closer to Kira. "He's stayed with us…"

Kira shook his head. "For now…"

She sighed as she sat next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "The swelling has started to go down…" his attention moved to her almost instantly. "I don't know why, I don't know how, but he seems to be doing alright…"

"But his heart…"

"The rhythm is doing fine…" Isane's hand kept rubbing Kira's back. "You can go talk to him, Kira-taichou, he'd like that…"

"I don't think I should…" Kira breathed. "He hates me…"

"He needs someone to talk to… we almost lost him just now…"

Kira heard those words, his heart breaking as only one thought was on his mind. "Was it a heart attack?"

"No, it was much more serious than that. His heart almost burst… what you saw was way worse than anything we ever predicted…" she looked into Kira's eyes. "He's going to be coughing up blood for a little while, his chest cavity is full of it, but he _can_ speak…"

"He's conscious?" Kira's voice raised an octave as he choked on those words.

"Yeah…" Isane nodded. "His willpower is incredible. Anyone else would have died in that last episode. But he's survived. He's survived something that should have instantly killed him."

Kira then asked a question he knew wasn't allowed. "Do you think Aizen Sousuke had anything to do with this?"

Isane shook her head. "It's hard to tell… but I doubt Aizen would risk his own heart like that. We think that he could have absorbed some more of Aizen's power which caused the stabilizers to weaken. We've put him on stronger ones to try to get the powers to bond more…"

Kira looked through the door. "Is he okay to talk to?"

"Yeah… and even if you don't talk, he'll be glad that you're there…" Isane took a deep breath. "You know you mean the world to him, right?"

Kira closed his eyes as he nodded. "He means the world to me too…"

"Then tell him…"

"What difference is it going to make, he hates me…" Kira bowed his head.

"Kira-taichou, talk to him, it'll make him feel better…"

Kira walked into the room, looking at Hisagi who was breathing harshly on the bed, his arms shaking as he opened his eyes. Blood rolled from his lips, his eyes sparkling in the lighting of the room. Kira's heart broke as Hisagi tried to call out to him, a bubbling sound passing his lips.

"I'm here, Hisagi-san…" Kira smiled as he moved closer to Hisagi's side, watching his shaking hand reach for him. "I'm here now… and I'm not going to leave you… I'm not going to leave you…"

Hisagi opened his mouth, more blood rolling past his lips. "K-Kira…"

Kira moved to grab a cloth, rubbing the blood from Hisagi's lips and chin, his eyes watering as he heard Hisagi breath, the sounds breaking Kira's heart. He moved the cloth away as he looked deeper into Hisagi's watering, glassy, grey eyes. Everything stopped outside the room; he couldn't even sense Isane standing in the doorway with a smile on her face.

"I want you to know one thing, Hisagi-san…" Hisagi's eyes moved to look into Kira's. "I never wanted this to happen to you, and I'm going to do everything in my power to find out what's wrong with you. And when I do, I'm going to save you…"

Hisagi swallowed a mouthful of blood, gagging on the taste. "Kira… I-I'm glad to see you…"

Kira shook his head and chuckled. "You're not kicking me out? How much blood did you lose?" he ran his hand along Hisagi's face, his fingers running along his scars before Hisagi turned his head to kiss at Kira's hand. "I'm going to stay here as long as it takes… _Isai-san_…"

Hisagi smiled weakly at him. "Kira… I…"

"I know…" Kira smiled, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Don't overexert yourself. I know…"

He held onto Hisagi's hand tighter as he fought more tears, hearing Hisagi chuckle at the sight. "Are you crying over me? I'm flattered…"

Kira took a deep breath. "Don't ever scare me like this again…" his grip tightened on Hisagi's hand. "Promise me that you won't scare me again…"

"I can't promise anything… I was never very good at keeping my promises to you. If I were… we wouldn't be in this mess…" Hisagi's voice was weak. "Besides, maybe this is for the better…" he coughed softly, Kira whimpering at the sound. "We… you and me… both of us… we're no good for each other… you said so yourself…"

Kira closed his eyes as he choked on a sob. "That doesn't matter anymore… this isn't about romance. This is about me as your friend…"

Hisagi coughed, blood splattering on Kira's face, the 3rd Division captain not moving to wipe it away as it mixed with his tears. Kira brought Hisagi's hand to his lips kissing gently at his knuckles, as he cried harder, his body shaking as he tightened his grip. He felt the warmth of Hisagi's hand against his as he looked down into Hisagi's eyes.

"I-I knew I'd get you to notice me…" the smile on Hisagi's face overtook Kira's emotions, his whole body shaking. "I-I knew you would be here for me…"

Kira nodded as he moved to bury his face in Hisagi's chest, hearing the beating of his heart as Hisagi moved his arm to stroke Kira's blond hair. Kira finally broke down, sobbing violently into his chest in his best friend's embrace. He knew this was where he belonged. This was his home.

_You're never going to leave me again. This I know for certain._

0o0o0o0o0o0

Orihime walked into the office, seeing Ichigo staring blankly into the distance. "Kurosaki-kun?" she asked as she walked closer to him. "Are you alright?"

Ichigo shook his head. "Hisagi-taichou is in rough shape…" he looked down at the papers on the desk. "They have no clue what's wrong with him…"

She smiled as she tried to comfort him. "It'll be alright…"

"No it won't. My captain's dying, Rukia won't speak to me, and the other lieutenants think I'm nothing but a home wrecker. Every time I go by the 13th Division I see that pathetic captain of theirs, barely able to stand up, barely able to do anything. He's given up on Rukia…"

"Kuchiki-san will get Abarai-kun back… I know she will…"

"But why? Why would she want him back? He's thrown her way. She said she can't even talk to him anymore. Everything that we thought they had is dead now," Ichigo shook his head. "After all we've been through… those two are completely different…"

Orihime bowed her head. "Kurosaki-kun… what are you going to do? What are you going to do to Abarai-kun?"

Ichigo looked out the window. "I'm going to fight him…"

"Kurosaki-kun…" she shook her head. "Fight Abarai-kun? You don't know how much he's improved…"

"He's a drunken asshole, there's no way he'll even put up a fight," Ichigo looked down at the desk. "And Hisagi isn't around to tell me no…"

"Hisagi-san's in the hospital! You're going to use a tragedy to your advantage? That's not like you Kurosaki-kun," her voice was quiet. "Use your head, and think about this…"

Ichigo shook his head. "The 13th Division isn't going to push me around… I'm not going to let Renji do what he's doing anymore. I can't let everything end like this…"

"Kurosaki-kun, please. You don't know what you're doing! What if you kill him?"

Ichigo shook his head. "I'll take that risk…"

"Even if everyone thinks you're trying to take his position?" she closed her eyes. "This seems like attempted murder…"

"It's how Kenpachi became captain."

"That doesn't mean you should do it. Do you want to be a captain or do you want to protect Rukia, because by the sounds of it you're going to kill him in cold blood. You're not the type to do that… you'd never kill anyone…"

He shook his head. "Inoue, you have no clue what I'm capable of."

"If you do this… I don't know… but it won't make you feel any better…" Orihime's voice was low as she watched Ichigo stand up. "It'll just make you feel even worse than you do now. Kurosaki-kun… don't…"

Ichigo shook his head. "You think I want to do this? I have no other choice. Ukitake isn't going to do anything about this. Renji isn't fit to be a captain."

"This isn't about Abarai-kun being a captain," Orihime's voice was filled with more malice than she thought she had in her body. "This is a cock fight, this is you being unable to swallow your pride and see Kuchiki-san with someone else: someone she was happy with before you came along."

"What do you know anyway?"

"I know there are other ways. You don't have to challenge him. If he has gotten stronger in the past year… then we don't know if you'll even survive the fight…" Orihime was on the verge of begging. "Who are you trying to impress? What are you trying to prove?"

Ichigo looked out the window taking a deep breath. "That I can stand on my own two feet, and to finally prove to Rukia I can make decisions for myself."

Orihime looked at the ground, closing her eyes as she knew that the world that she was currently in was about to explode. As she watched Ichigo stare into the distance, she felt herself being pulled further away from him. For the first time in her life, she felt like she was invisible, her heart breaking in her chest. There was nothing she could do.

* * *

This chapter was my first time back for a while and I'm sorry for that. But I think that it was up to standards. This chapter shows deeper how everyone is fallnig apart, something that will continue through the duration of this story.

The next chapter (which will hopefully be posted sooner) will have Ichigo and Renji will have thier showdown and we'll learn something about Renji that we never thought would happen.

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request.

And as always feel free to review.


	9. Chapter 9

**Pairings:** Hisagi/Kira, Ichigo x Rukia, Renji x Rukia, and and slight Ichigo/Orihime**  
Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, some sexual content, talk of suicide, and graphic violence. Not to mention any errors that I may have left (I'm so bad at grammar).  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach, **Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Rukia sat in the office looking at Renji at the desk. The memories came flooding back of every moment that they had shared in their short lived romance. Her eyes fell on him as he buries his hands in his face, taking a series of deep breaths as his body shook. Ever since they had broken up, he lived for only one thing: alcohol. Alcohol was the only reason he hadn't jumped off of the roof. Alcohol was the only reason he hadn't lost his mind. That thought, that truth made her heart break as she looked at him, fighting the urge for another drop.

Everything between them had turned into a battlefield, both of them always on the defensive whenever the other one talked, whenever the other looked at them. Today was no different, but the warfare today was the silent treatment. Rukia would sit in the corner going through papers while he was fighting his own demons. Neither of them talked to each other, they only glanced at each other now and them. But every passing moment, it became harder for her to ignore him.

"Abarai-taichou…" she breathed looking over at him. "Are you alright?"

He lowered his hands, his eyes bloodshot. "What do you think?"

Rukia's heart broke as she heard the small sound that was his voice. "Renji…"

"Don't call me that…" he demanded, his body shaking. "Please don't call me that…"

She shook her head, dropping the papers. "I can't take this anymore…" the papers scattered haphazardly as she stood up. "I can't take this distance between us. You went to war and you almost died, and then only an instant later we're at each others throats."

Renji shook his head. "Rukia…" he took a deep breath. "I can't pretend to be…"

"You never had to pretend… I don't want this Renji. This is the Renji that I've been trying to kill. I don't want to see you shaking for your next drink. I don't want to hear you vomiting in the middle of the night. I don't want to watch you fall apart. I want to help you…" she looked into his eyes. "Please… please Renji! Let me help you!"

"Help me? How can you help me when this is the only way I know how to live without you?" he shook his head. "I don't know what else to do… I don't know what you want me to do… I don't know what you want me to be…" Renji stood up. "I have to get out of here?"

"Yeah, that's what you always do whenever I try to talk to you: you run away," Rukia watched as he walked out of the room. "When should I expect you back? When do you think you're going to be done drowning yourself in alcohol and face me like a man?" her voice was shaking as she talked to him. "Renji… you know I still love you… but when you get like this…"

He shook his head. "This is me…"

"No… this isn't you!" she walked closer. "This isn't the Renji that I know. This isn't the Renji I wanted to see. I never wanted to watch you die and know there's nothing I can do to stop you…" she moved to look into his eyes as he turned to look at her. "Renji, please… stay with me… please…"

Renji shook his head. "Rukia…"

"I don't want to wake up alone anymore. I don't want to wake up when you're worlds away from me…" she moved closer to him. "I want to be with you… you're the one I'm supposed to be with you. I was always supposed to be with you…"

"Rukia…" Renji shook his head. "What do you want from me? What do you want me to do? Take you back? You have to be out of your mind if you think for a second I'm going to even look at you the same way. I know what you did… I know why you wanted to be with me… you used me…"

"Used you?" her voice was low. "What do you…?"

"I was just convenient, he was the one you wanted all along, wasn't he? You played with my emotions and you've completely fucked me up," he turned to the door. "All I have is myself, that's what I've always had. Everyone was right, you and I… we have no future…"

Rukia shook her head. "I don't care what they say…"

"Rukia…" he closed his eyes, his hands shaking. "I'm falling apart… you need to understand that this isn't the man that you want. The man you want… he died that so many years ago," he walked through the door. "Don't follow me…"

She slammed her hands against the door as it closed, water forming in her eyes as she heard him walk away. After everything, after she almost lost him, he had alienated himself from the world. Day after day she longed for his touch. Day after day, she longed to be the way they were before. But she knew it could never be. They were too far apart.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira walked in to see Hisagi still in bed. He looked better than he had the previous day, color returning to his skin, his eyes looking alive and vibrant. It looked like he had made a full recovery. As Kira moved closer, he expected Hisagi to kick him out of the room thinking that everything between them had returned to normal, but as Hisagi Shuuhei's eyes fell upon him, he knew that this wasn't the case.

"Kira…" he smiled as he looked over at him. "You're back!"

He was too happy to see him. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine…" he pulled the tube of one of his IVs as if showing Kira what was going on. "I can't feel anything anymore…"

_They drugged him. He's completely high. _Kira smiled as he moved closer to Hisagi's side, the 9th Division captain's eyes staring directly into his. "So… what kind of drugs are you on?"

"I don't know…" Hisagi answered. "But if it could make the pain that I was going through yesterday go away then I'm not complaining…" he took a deep breath as he looked into Kira's eyes. "I scared you, didn't I?"

Kira nodded. "When I heard your heart almost exploded, I thought…"

Hisagi sighed. "Listen, Kira. I don't want to scare you like that…"

Kira looked deep into Hisagi's eyes as a sensation rolled through his body. He wanted to kiss him, but he knew he couldn't. _That's taking advantage of him. He's the highest I've ever seen anyone, and I used to be part of this division. Yet I…_

"You want to kiss me don't you, Kira?" Hisagi asked.

Kira blushed at those words. "You're mad at me…"

"No… _you're_ mad at _me_… _you_ started this…" Hisagi whispered gently. "If you want to kiss me this may be you're only chance. Kiss me while I'm too pain free to remember what I'm mad at you for…"

_He just asked me to…_ Kira moved closer to gently kiss Hisagi's lips. "Your lips are still soft…"

Before he could register anything else, he felt Hisagi pull him into another kiss, his hand tightly woven into golden hair as he kissed him forcefully. Kira's heart raced as he could taste the passion that he had craved, the same amount of admiration they had for each other before the war. They kissed each other deeper as they took in the moment, Kira treating this as his only chance to taste all of the wonders of Hisagi's world, tasting the metallic tinge of blood in his mouth.

He didn't want to pull away from him, his body dissolving into Hisagi's as he moved to grasp the arm that was woven into his hair, hearing Hisagi wince at the sensation. Kira's whole body shuddered as he moved closer to Hisagi's warmth, almost being pulled onto the hospital bed.

He moved to kiss along Hisagi's neck, his tongue rolling across a scar. He paid the scar no attention; he knew that he had been bitten while he was Hueco Mundo. He was too captivated by Hisagi's breaths to think that anything was wrong. He kissed harder at Hisagi's neck hearing him breathlessly say his name, his hands tightening on Kira's back.

"Kira… I knew you'd come around…" Hisagi breath was thick. "I always knew you'd come back for me…"

Kira kissed Hisagi's lips gently, hearing the drugged captain giggle. _He's not going to remember any of this… maybe it's for the better. _He kissed him again. _But when did his body get so soft? When did he get so damn beautiful? It doesn't matter, because for this moment, he's all mine…_

As Kira felt someone coming closer to the door, he backed away from Hisagi, his eyes moving toward the door as he sat upright, wiping the glitter of saliva off of his lips as he ran his hand along his hair. "Yes?"

Unohana walked in, her eyes falling onto the 3rd Division captain. "You're still here, Kira? I thought you would have left by now…"

"I can't leave him when he's like this…" Kira looked down at the intoxicated Hisagi, looking into his eyes as they caught each other's gaze, Hisagi's eyes lingering with the passion of their kiss. "How much of that stuff do you have him on?"

"If you heard his howling last night, you'd want him on that too…" she moved to look into Hisagi's eyes. "Scale of one to ten…"

Hisagi closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. "One…"

"One?" Unohana asked as she pulled his arm closer to look at the IV needle, wrapping her fingers around the needle. "Do you think we should take a break from the drugs? I don't want to overcook you…"

"Won't he be in pain again?" Kira asked as he watched as Unohana pulled the needle out of his arm, Hisagi not even flinching as the blood started to roll out of his arm. "Unohana-taichou…"

"No, the pain is over," she reached for a container that was on the table next to the bed. "We've only got one thing to do…" she opened the container, her eyes moving to Hisagi, whose eyes were closed as he caught sight of his own blood, cringing at it. "Can you swallow?"

Hisagi took a deep breath as feeling started to come back to him. "I think so…"

Kira looked at the capsule that was in Unohana's hand. "Are those the new stabilizers…?"

Unohana nodded. "Stronger than before…" she handed it to Hisagi. "We believe that it has something to do with Aizen's power within Hisagi's body. The heart has adapted to Hisagi's power level, but while he was in Hueco Mundo, that power was tampered with…"

"And he'll live?" Kira asked.

"He should live…" Unohana smiled as she looked at Hisagi.

"When should he be released?" Kira asked as he looked over at Hisagi who was now sitting on the edge of the bed. _He can move already? But it hasn't even been twenty-four hours since the incident…_

Unohana looked over at Hisagi. "Can you walk?"

Hisagi nodded, stretching his back finally being free from his laying down position. "I think so…"

Kira had one last question. "And when do the drugs wear off?"

Unohana knew exactly why he was asking that question. "You have at most twenty-four hours before he hates you again. Use the time wisely, Kira-sama. So can you escort him back to the 9th Division to make sure he gets there in one piece?"

Kira nodded as he looked over at Hisagi seeing a smile on his face. "Come with me, Hisagi-san," he moved to take his hand. "I'll help you get dressed…"

Hisagi smiled wider. "You're going to help me with that too? I'm so glad I have you. I'd be so lost without you, Kira…"

Kira took a deep breath. "I'd be lost without you too, Hisagi-san."

_I wish that this is how we could be forever… I don't want you to hate me anymore…_

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ichigo walked down the street looking left and right. There was no sign of Renji anywhere. He kept walking down the path that he had chosen. He knew that he was going to have to do. Everything that Orihime told him no longer mattered, this was the only way. He continued going down the road as he watched multiple lieutenants and seated officers walking throughout the streets. No sign of any captains.

"Ichigo?" he heard a voice call out. "What are you doing here?"

Ichigo looked to see both Ikkaku and Yumichika standing before, the two of them glancing around as they tried their hardest to figure out where he was off to. Ichigo searched for a sign of Renji, his body freezing as he felt his reiatsu coming closer. He walked past Ikkaku and Yumichika as he walked deeper.

"Ichigo?" Ikkaku asked as he followed Ichigo. "Where the hell are you going?"

"I have to find Renji…" Ichigo breathed as he walked faster, his adrenaline rushing as he walked into the distance.

"Leave it be… if our captains saw you…" Yumichika tried his hardest to convince Ichigo not to do anything rash. "If _your_ captain saw what you were doing, he'd drag you back to the 9th Division…"

"You can't kill him…" Ikkaku called out. "Abarai's stronger than you think he is. He's been different for a while now. One wrong move and you're as good as dead, so why don't you turn around and go back to your friends?"

Ichigo took a deep breath. "What I'm doing is not illegal. Kenpachi…"

"Kenpachi is a psycho who puts power before anything else, Ichigo!" Yumichika yelled, his voice drawing attention. "And you aren't going to kill him for his position… you're going to kill him for nothing… for your pride…"

"Being in the 6th Division, I thought you'd know all there is to know about pride," Ichigo scoffed.

"Ichigo… you don't know what you're getting into," Ikkaku shook his head as Ichigo walked further down the street with this many people…"

Ichigo stopped listening to Ikkaku the second that he saw Renji walking down the street, their eyes meeting automatically as the lieutenant moved closer to the captain. Ichigo felt the anger flaring up within him as he moved closer to Renji, his hand moving to the hilt of Zangetsu as he looked deeper into the captain's eyes.

"Yo," Ichigo breathed as he glared at Renji, his voice low.

"What the fuck do you want?" Renji walked by him looking past Ichigo. "I'm not in the mood to speak to you…"

"Are you ever in the mood to speak to anyone?" Ichigo watched Renji stopped walking. "You're nothing but an island. You were born alone, you live alone, and you're going to die alone. There's no hope for you… there's nothing left for you… it's over…"

"What are you trying to say?" Renji asked.

Ichigo lost control of his vision, because the next thing that he saw was his sword through Renji's shoulder, a squeal passing Yumichika's lips as blood fell to the ground. People started to crowd around the area, watching as the captain fell to his knees and his whole body shaking. Ichigo looked into the crowd and saw several lieutenants watching the display, no signs of any other captains. His vision then returned to Renji as the captain moved to his feet.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I will cut you down…"

Renji took a deep breath. "Why?"

"Why do you think?"

Renji shook his head. "You want to be the captain of the 13th Division. You want all of my assets. More importantly, you want Rukia. But tell me, boy, how are you going to explain to Rukia that you cut down her former fiancé because you love her?"

Ichigo smiled. "There's no need for explanation."

"You think you have what it takes to be a captain?" Renji's eyes narrowed. "Then bring it on…"

Ichigo lost sight of Renji for a split second before he felt Zabimaru run through his shoulder. _When did he get this fast? Usually when he fights, he's sloppy. That movement was clean, almost Byakuya clean._

"Still think you have a chance."

Ichigo blocked Renji's blade before he could make more contact with him, the sounds of metal grinding against each other filling the air. Swing after swing, it was a series of blocks and failed attempts to cut one another down. Every movement, it all sent Ichigo over the edge. This was not how he remembered Renji fighting, and it was at that moment where he knew if he made one false move he would most likely lose the battle which he had started.

"Should we tell someone what's going on?" Yumichika asked as he looked at Ikkaku.

"No, this is a fight I've wanted to see for a long time…" Ikkaku looked into the fight watching as Renji's sword finally cut along Ichigo's other shoulder. "It's a good time to see how war changed Abarai Renji…"

Ichigo clutched his shoulder as he looked into Renji's eyes. "Is that all you've got? Some sword moves?"

Renji shook his head. "Not at all…" he then held his sword tighter. "Bankai…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Rukia sat at the desk as she looked through the files, her body tensing as she felt a familiar sensation in her body. "Renji? Ichigo?" she stood up as she walked toward the window, hearing the explosions of reiatsu and kidou, the sky outside lighting up. She looked deeper into the mess as she heard the door open.

"Kuchiki-san…" she turned around to see Orihime.

"Inoue? What are you…?"

"You have to come quickly!" Orihime's voice was shaking. "We don't have a moment to spare."

"What are you…?"

"Kurosaki-kun is going to kill Abarai-kun!"

Rukia froze in place as she heard those words. "What did you just say?"

"Kurosaku-kun wants to kill Abarai-kun. He thinks that he's doing it for you…" Orihime's words faded as Rukia tried her hardest to grasp the situation. "If we don't go and stop them… Abarai-kun will die…"

Rukia shook her head. "No! I almost lost Renji once… I'm not going to lose him again. I promised myself that after that moment I would never feel him die ever again. I promised myself that I would never let him slip through my fingers," she closed her eyes as she felt Renji's reiatsu. "I don't want this, Inoue. I never wanted this! This isn't why I agreed to bring him here!"

Orihime nodded. "I know… but without Hisagi-san to stop him, Kurosaki-kun will keep going until Abarai-kun dies…"

"Then we have to stop them," she walked toward the door. "Let's go Inoue…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Renji looked down on Ichigo: the lieutenant was on his knees, blood dripping from his lips as he walked closer to him. The fight was practically over as the audience of over five hundred people watched them. As the captain moved closer to Ichigo, he put his sword back its sheath.

"You've been in this battle for less than twenty minutes and already you're on the ground?" Renji scoffed. "And you thought you could kill me… pathetic…"

Ichigo took a deep breath. "Where did you learn to fight like that?"

"You've been gone for a year, Ichigo. Things change and people get stronger," Renji stood right in front of the lieutenant as he took a deep breath. "I won't have you soiling Hisagi-san's good name. He's a good man and he doesn't deserve to be stuck with such an unruly lieutenant…"

Ichigo smiled as he looked into Renji's eyes. "And you think you have a better lieutenant?"

"What are you getting at?" Renji asked as his body tensed.

"You think your bond is so strong that there are no secrets between you and her. Maybe you've never kept a secret…" Ichigo struggled to his feet. "Maybe you think she hasn't… but she has kept a huge secret from you…"

Renji's heart stopped in his chest. "What? What is it?"

"She was pregnant Renji… she miscarried… she didn't want to tell you, but…" Ichigo moved to grasp his sword. "She told _me_!"

Renji stopped breathing as he felt Zangetsu being thrust through his stomach, a splash of blood falling from his lips. The pain started to fade away as he digested Ichigo's words: everything that he and Rukia had, everything that he wanted them to have, none of it meant anything anymore. As the blade was situated through his body, the crowd whispering amongst themselves he closed his eyes trying to block the tears that were rolling from his eyes.

He then felt something deep within him whisper to him, goading him to the point of breakage. _You can kill him… maybe not with your blade… but with your own hands._ Renji swallowed hard on a mouthful of blood, the taste of Hisagi's on his lips. The euphoria, the bliss came back to him as he felt the warm liquid pour down his throat, his body shaking up against Zangetsu. _You can use my power…_

Renji then heard a scream in the crowd. "Renji!"

His vision went over to look at the voice, seeing Rukia walking to the front of the crowd. He couldn't look at her. He closed his eyes as he looked away from her, breathing hitching in his throat as his lung started to collapse in his chest. His left side started to burn as he thought his lung was going to burst, blood rolling from his nose as he struggled for air.

"Renji!" she tried to move closer, Ikkaku stopping her, holding her back with all of his strength. "Oh my God! Renji! No!"

Renji swallowed another mouthful of blood as the sword was retracted from his body, feeling the blood rain from him, his weight driving him to his knees. He coughed as the pain in his chest continued to roll through his body, his eyes falling onto Rukia, who was now sobbing violently as she screamed his name, both Yumichika and Ikkaku holding her back.

"D-Don't look at me… R-Rukia…" Renji looked at Ichigo as his body shook. "I let you get that move in…" he held out his finger. "H-Hadou 4: B-Byakurai!" A shot of light went right through Ichigo's lung, a splash of blood passing his lips.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime yelled as Renji got back to his feet.

"H-Hadou 4: Byakurai…" he shot him in the other lung.

"Renji!" Ichigo sputtered as he struggled to his feet. "When did you get this…?"

Renji closed his eyes as the power swirled through his head, his blood running cold as he looked into Ichigo's eyes. "When I knew that I had to kill you in order to prove my self worth…"

Rukia shook her head. "Renji?"

"And now Kurosaki Ichigo, I will perform the last kidou spell you will ever see…" Renji held his hands out in front of him, his muscles shaking violently as he struggled for air.

"Renji, you can't do kidou!" Rukia was begging him to stop. "You're going to kill yourself!"

"Shut up, Rukia… and just watch…" Renji looked toward the lieutenant who was on the ground. "Take one last look at him, Rukia… because I'm about to destroy him…"

"Renji!" Rukia was still being held back. "Renji! Stop it!"

Renji took a deep breath. "Hadou 88…"

"Eighty-eight?" Ikkaku's eyes widened.

"Fuck!" Yumichika's voice shook in disbelief.

Renji took a deep breath. "Hiryugekizokushintenraihou!"

Light filled the area, along with Rukia's scream. Renji couldn't feel anything; he had lost himself within this moment, his eyes looking through the blue light. He saw nothing, his soul falling into a dark void as he heard a voice call out to him.

_You're mine, Abarai-kun. Can't you feel me inside of you?_

Renji froze in place as he heard that voice inside of him, he knew who that was. _Aizen?_ He closed his eyes, everything was over. Everything that he once knew was at an end. He was no longer in control.

"Bakudo 81: Danku!"

An explosion filled the area, Renji falling to his knees as he felt his body finally give way. Everything around him burned with a golden hue, his eyes watering as he knew what had happened. He could taste Hisagi's blood on his lips as he looked at his hands, his stomach churning. That day he didn't ingest the poison that was in Hisagi's veins, he had ingested Aizen's power. The urge to vomit filled him, his whole body shaking as he couldn't breathe, the blood in his punctured lung bubbling ferociously. As the smoke and light cleared he saw a face that he didn't want to see at the moment in front of Ichigo.

"Hisagi-taichou?" Ichigo murmured, blood rolling past his lips.

Hisagi looked around before looking down at Renji. "Are you alright, Abarai?"

"H-Hisagi-san…" Renji breathed. "I…"

Hisagi looked at the audience of people. "Show's over… all of you should get back to work…"

"Hisagi-taichou…" Ichigo breathed again.

The 9th Division captain ignored his lieutenant. "Kira…"

"Yes?" Kira walked through the crowd.

"Heal Ichigo and then bring him to my office," Hisagi barely looked at the 3rd Division captain. "I'll deal with _him_ later…"

Renji took a deep breath as he looked at Hisagi, seeing the blood dripping from his left arm. "Hisa…"

"I was late blocking your attack…" Hisagi sighed as he looked into the 13th Division captain's eyes. "It managed to do some damage to me… but my body is practically numb. I can't feel the pain," he moved to Renji's side, falling to his knees, moving closer to whisper into his ear. "How did you do that spell Abarai?"

Renji took a deep breath, his lung starting to give way. "Hisagi-san… when I drank your blood… Aizen's power… I…"

Hisagi's breath stopped as he heard those words. "Impossible…"

"I'm so sorry…" Renji coughed.

"No… no… it's not your fault…" Hisagi shook his head. "It's not your fault. I'm not mad at you…" Hisagi took a deep breath. "I'm not mad at you… do you understand that? You're _not_ responsible for this."

"He told me… I could hear him telling me to do it… and it felt good… it felt _so_ good…" Renji could feel his lung on the verge of exploding. "Hisagi-san… I couldn't… I tried… but I couldn't stop him…"

"It's over…" Hisagi whispered. "He holds no dominion over you… he doesn't decide what you do…" Hisagi moved to grasp Renji's shoulders, lifting him off of the ground. "I'm not going to let him take you… you're not his puppet."

Renji took a deep breath. "I can't… I can still hear him right now… I can feel the power within me… it's attracted to you… it wants more…"

"Enough talk," it was evident that Hisagi was terrified. "Just stay with me, Abarai…" Hisagi closed his eyes as he held onto him tighter. "Inoue!"

As Inoue Orihime approached him to heal him all Renji could think of was the voice that was in his head. The power was still within his fingertips, the pleasure the power gave him rolling through his blood. As he tightened his fist he knew that slowly he was falling into the dark world that Hisagi was drowning within. At least now he wouldn't have to drown alone.

* * *

This chapter was like hell to write. There were so many details that were involved in the writing of this chapter. But it showed some more insight into what happened in _Dead and Gone_ when Renji drank Hisagi's blood. It made the plot a lot thicker and again, I took a risk with this chapter (something I haven't really done since _Falling Petals_.)

The next chapter is going to have some serious aftermath of what happened between Renji and Ichigo and a blow-up between Renji and Rukia as they finally let each other go (or do they?)

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a requst. See profile for details.

Also feel free to review. And vote in my poll, the story with the most votes will be my top priority.


	10. Chapter 10

**Pairings:** Hisagi/Kira, Ichigo x Rukia, Renji x Rukia, Hisagi x Orihime, some Hisagi x Hinamori, and slight Ichigo/Orihime**  
Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, talk of sexual content, talk of suicide, and some violence. Not to mention any errors that I may have left (I guess my hiatus hasn't been good to me).  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach, **Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Orihime sat outside of her barrier as she heard the harsh breaths rolling from Renji's lungs, her eyes closed tightly. _I can't believe that Kurosaki-kun would do this. Abarai-kun's lung has completely exploded. _She closed her eyes as she tried to block out the tears that were in her eyes, feeling Hisagi Shuuhei's eyes on her.

"I appreciate you doing this for me, Inoue…" Hisagi took a deep breath as he pressed his hand up against the wound that was on his arm.

"Are you okay?" she asked as she looked at the captain.

"I'm fine… focus on Abarai…" Hisagi took a deep breath. "I still have some painkillers in my blood so this doesn't hurt so much."

She watched as the blood rolled down his arm. "You're losing a lot of blood…"

"I've lost more than this, trust me…" Hisagi took a deep breath as he pressed deeper into his arm. "I never thought that this would happen. I never thought that I would live to see the day when Abarai was able to fire that kidou spell."

"Can you use it?" Orihime could still hear Renji choking on his own blood.

"I can use a lot of kidou now," he shook his head. "And it pains me to know that if it weren't for Aizen, I wouldn't have been able to stop him…"

"Hey, it was _you_ who stopped him…"

"But if I didn't have Aizen's power none of this would have happened… there's something going on… something that I haven't told anyone…" Hisagi took a deep breath. "Aizen's power was the reason why I could stop it… and Aizen's power was the reason he could fire it off in the first place…"

Orihime shook her head. "What do you…?"

"When we were in Hueco Mundo… Abarai swallowed some of my blood. My reiatsu was being pulled out by a beast, I still have no clue what the monster was, but because of the bite, Abarai managed to get a mouthful of Aizen's power… Aizen's power is inside of him…"

Orihime took a deep breath. "That's not your fault…"

"Isn't it? If I didn't get bitten… if I didn't get stabbed… if I wasn't so useless… if I…" he closed his eyes as he tried to avoid her glance. "But then again, that's what I do… I'm the one who makes everyone's lives worse… haven't you heard? I'm Aizen Sousuke part two…"

"Hisagi-san…" she closed her eyes as she fought the urge to embrace him, fought the urge of being close to him.

"You're a saint for staying so close to me… people who are this close usually wind up in trouble…" Hisagi opened his eyes to look at Renji. "You're probably starting to fear me… you're scared right?"

"No…" she shook her head. "I'm not scared…"

"You don't understand the situation…" Hisagi watched as Renji stopped coughing. "Well thank you for helping me with Abarai…" he smiled at Orihime. "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here. His punctured lung would have…"

As soon as her hands were free, she wrapped her arms around Hisagi, pulling him into a deep embrace as he arms were tight around him. She felt his breathing start to calm down as her arms wrapped around him tighter. She looked into his eyes as he moved some of her red hair out of her face.

"See, now you're about to get yourself in trouble…" Hisagi breathed his hand on her cheek, his other arm moving to wrap around her.

"How?" she asked, her body stiffening in his embrace, feeling his hand move against he cheek, he eyes meeting her glance.

"Because I'm about to kiss you…" his eyes looking deep into hers.

She closed her eyes as his lips fell onto hers, her body stiffening in his grip, her heart racing in her chest. She moved her lips up against his as his hand tightened in her hair, a small purr passing her lips. She closed her eyes tightly as she wrapped her arms around his shoulder tighter, his tongue passing her lips as she let out a small cry, her eyes watering. As he backed away, she felt his tongue run along her lips once more.

They didn't say a word as they looked into each other's eyes, Renji breathing softly as the healing process was complete. Orihime closed her eyes as she rested up against Hisagi's shoulder, only one sensation going through her mind.

_It felt so good, and I wanted him to. But then why did it feel like I was betraying someone?_ She buried herself in Hisagi's shoulder as she thought of the kiss. _Why do I feel like I'm hurting someone else?_

0o0o0o0o0o0

"What the hell were you thinking?" Rukia yelled as she walked into the 9th Division. "You could have killed him!"

Ichigo didn't pay attention to her as he stood in the corner of the office. "I don't have to answer to you, you aren't my captain…"

"But you attacked mine!" Rukia's voice didn't lower in volume, her eyes burning. "What the hell did you tell him? What the hell did you tell him to make him fire that spell at you? If Hisagi-taichou wasn't there to block it, you would have instantly died. Hiryugekizokushintenraihou could have instantly destroyed you. It's too powerful for you and the way that he used it…"

Ichigo bowed his head. "I know that you're upset, but think of it this way. Your captain attacked me, which means that what you did was just as wrong…"

"What the hell did you tell him?"

Ichigo didn't waste any time being cryptic. "I told him you miscarried…"

Rukia froze in place as she stopped breathing, her eyes starting to water as the only movement she could muster was a step away from Ichigo. "N-no…" she shook her head as she took a deep breath. "No! You weren't supposed to…"

"When were you going to tell him?" Ichigo snorted. "I saved you and him a fight, and I saved you from him firing that kidou spell at you," he took a step toward her. "You told me information you didn't tell him. That settles it…"

"Kurosaki Ichigo… I want you to know one thing, and one thing alone: I loved that man. I loved Abarai Renji with all of my heart. I always have. And now…" she shook her head. "Now you've ruined everything."

"Blame it all on me! It's not like you were hiding information from him. It's not like you couldn't talk to him. It's not like you were slowly falling out of love with him," Ichigo watched her eyes light up with the blaze of anger.

"Shut up, Ichigo…" she shook her head.

"It's not like you thought you were better off as friends. You told me all of that. You told me that you didn't see him in the same eyes you did months ago," Ichigo didn't back down. "You know you didn't want to be with him anymore. He was just a captain to you…"

"I said shut up!" her voice made him freeze in place. "You don't know how I feel about him! You don't know how he felt about me. You weren't here…"

"Sounds like a destructive relationship to me…"

"I don't want to be friends anymore…" her voice was low. "I wanted for the first time in my life to be happy. I've had so many disappointments… and you're the biggest Ichigo…"

He shook his head. "Rukia…"

"Don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Don't even think of me," her voice was quiet. "I have to go see if I can make things right with Renji… that is if he'll even look at me…"

Ichigo stood in the corner as she walked out of the office, waiting for the moment where Hisagi would come in and berate him.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira stood in the 9th Division courtyard, his eyes closed tightly as he thought about what had happened throughout the day. It had been the most hectic day of his life, his whole being shaking as he remembered the moment in the 4th Division, feeling Hisagi's lips on his as they shared a passionate kiss. He took a deep breath as he ran his hands through his blond hair as the thoughts came back to him. The tone of Hisagi's voice, the softness of his lips, the smooth texture of his arms, it all made Kira crave more. It all made him want another taste.

He looked around the courtyard as he saw Hinamori running toward him. "Kira-kun! Is Hisagi-san back yet?"

Kira shook his head. "No… he's in the 13th Division with Inoue-kun healing Abarai-kun's wounds," he looked toward the building. "He'll be here soon enough to berate Ichigo…"

Hinamori took a deep breath. "And how was he earlier…"

"His heart's fine now. They thought it burst, but it didn't. He'll live," he looked into her eyes. "He's recovered like nothing even happened to him."

"And you're sure he'll…"

"He'll live, Hinamori-kun, I told you that once already. Don't make me keep talking about it. The thought that we were going to lose him, the concept, it bothers me. I feel helpless, like nothing I can do can save him from the doom he's falling into," he shook his head. "It's like now that I let him go… he's dying… and I'm not even able to get close to him before he does."

"Kira-kun…" she took a deep breath. "You were the one who ran away from him. What he needs right now is to prove to himself that he has the ability to mean something. He's had so many disappointments already…"

"You're trying to say I'm the biggest?"

"No… I think he still loves you…"

Kira sighed as he closed his eyes. "I still love him…"

"Then go to him…" Hinamori walked toward him. "I know that I haven't been the best friend to you, but I know that those marks on his arm, you can save him… you can put an end to all of it."

"How can I when I haven't seen the darkness he's been immersed in. He's lived in a world of darkness that no one will understand, especially not me. When he was suffering, I turned on him. And yet I can still see that blade…" he fought the tears within his eyes. "How can I be there for him when I don't understand what it feels like to have everyone turn on you, to feel like you're walking all by yourself. How can I turn to him again and say that I believe in him when I threw him away so easily before? Tell me, Hinamori. Tell me how I can do that…"

Hinamori was silent for a moment as she looked at the 3rd Division captain. "Be there for him. Support him. Even when you know he's wrong. The same way that he does to you…"

"But how can I? I'm not as strong as he is…"

"So you're going to let him die?"

"No!" Kira's voice shot a wave of adrenaline through his body. "I would rather burn the Soul Society to the ground than let anyone lay one Goddamned finger on him. I would kill Kyouraku Shunsui before the execution. I would tear this world apart!"

Hinamori took a deep breath. "Even if you become a monster yourself?"

"There are no monsters here. Kyouraku, Kurotsuchi, Zaraki, they're the monsters. Me, I'm nothing more than coward looking for atonement for that I did to a man who I once thought of as my world, a man I once thought I deserved…" Kira closed his eyes. "That's all I am… that's all I want to do."

Hinamori shook her head. "No… you're not supposed to give up on him… you're supposed to keep trying… that's how you operate…"

"No, I'm not that tenacious, I never have been. I'm a broken man; I'm not worth anything…" Kira closed his eyes tightly. "The pain that I caused, I can't take it back… I can never take it back…"

"You don't have to. Hisagi has been forged from the fires. His whole life has been a struggle for survival. He's been clinging onto his life… you don't have to take back the pain… it forged your love for him…" Hinamori took a deep breath. "I know that you want him. That's why you tried to go after me… you didn't want to see him with anyone else…"

"But…" Kira's voice was low. "You and Hisagi-san…"

"He has no feelings for me… and nor do I have feelings for him…"

He knew she was lying, he could tell by the look on her face. The attraction between them was still there. He knew it was always going to be there. It didn't matter anymore. That moment, that single screen cap in his mind made him realize that he had a chance. The look in Hisagi's eyes, the feeling of his hands, the sounds of his breathing, it all showed that there was something left. Kira wanted to hold onto that moment, to a moment where Hisagi felt no pain, a moment that reminded him of Hisagi before he got stabbed.

Kira closed his eyes as he knew there was a storm coming. Not a storm with rain or lightning, or a storm that he could actually see. But at that moment, Kira knew that everything that he knew was at an end.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"_Can't you feel it? Can't you feel the blood on your lips, slipping between your fingers? Can't you taste the agony as he begs you to stop? Can't you feel that warmth on your fingertips as you push deeper into him? It feels like complete domination, doesn't it? And you like the way it tastes, you like the way it feels. You enjoy feeling his pride break in front of you. You love it, Abarai-kun. So give into your desires. Give in…"_

Renji opened his eyes as he looked around the room; he was in the 13th Division. His whole body was shaking as he struggled for air, sweat forming on his body as he tried to block out the voices that were in his head. He swallowed hard as he lay back against the bed running his hand along his forehead as he panted, his heart racing in his chest.

He took bigger gulps of air as he finally was able to catch his breath, the cool layer of sweat starting to die down. The taste of Hisagi's blood was on his lips again as he remembered that day when he drank from his veins, the sensation coming back to his mouth as he fought the urge to vomit.

"Renji?" a voice called from the corner. He looked to see who the voice was.

It was Rukia. For once in his life, he didn't feel the joy that he usually felt when he looked into her eyes. He couldn't look at her, the blood running cold. He closed his eyes as she walked closer to him, suffocating on everything that he had felt during the battle, his anger coming back to possess him.

"How are you feeling?" she asked as she tried to stroke his face, his hand moving to smack hers away.

"Don't fucking touch me…" he looked in the other direction as he closed his eyes tightly.

"Ren…"

"What the hell do you want?" his voice was low as he took a deep breath, his body shaking. "Shouldn't you be comforting your boyfriend?"

"Renji…" her voice was trembling. "I know what he told you…"

"It's not my fault you can't talk to me, it's not my fault that you can't look at me, and it's not my fault that you can't stay pregnant!" he shook his head as his voice shook. "But you blame me for shit that I can't prevent. You keep pushing and pushing, and I never ask anything from you. I never keep anything for you…"

"Renji…" she shook her head. "What are you saying?"

"I can't do this…" his whole body shook. "I can't… I tried… I bent over backwards but this is the extent. I'm done. I can't be the one you want me to be…"

"You are everything that I ever wanted. You're my best friend…" she looked deeper into his eyes. "You've always been my best friend…"

Renji took a deep breath as he turned away from her, not wanting to look at her, to feel what she was. His heart broke as he felt her touch on his shoulders, her hand tightening as he tried to move away, hearing her whisper in his ear.

"We can get around this…"

"You keep saying that this doesn't change anything. But how can I believe you anymore, when you are closer to him than me…" Renji took a deep breath. "No… I can't do this anymore… I can't have you want me and then throw me away. This cycle is killing me, Rukia. I'm not your toy…"

"Renji…" Rukia begged. "I don't want it to end like this…"

Renji shook his head. "I love you, Rukia… but I can't do this anymore…"

"Please… please don't leave me, Renji…"

Renji took a deep breath almost choking on it. "I think that is the smartest thing we can do now. Go our separate ways… go back to the way we were when we were mad at each other for all of those decades. You can be all by yourself and I can go back to being nothing more than a whore…" he closed his eyes tightly as he was being strangled by his words. "You were better off that way… you've always been better off without me…"

"Renji…"

"Please leave Rukia…" he begged, his voice low. "I'll see you when I feel well enough to do work, but right now I don't feel…" his stomach churned as he tasted more blood on his lips, the voices in his head screaming at him.

"_Please stop! Please!"_

"_This isn't going to hurt much… just give up…"_

"_Please! Please don't do this!"_

"_You scream so well… Kuchiki Byakuya…"_

"_Renji!"_

Renji swallowed a mouthful of vomit, his whole body shaking as he took in the words that were going on in his head, his eyes looking straight at Rukia as he heard the words that were in his head, all of them rolling through his mind as he tried his hardest to block them out. He fell deeper into the bed as he took a deep breath, his eyes closed tightly.

"Do I need to get the 4th Division?" Rukia asked.

"When you get a chance, ask Hisagi-san to come here…" he closed his eyes as he heard Kuchiki Byakuya's screams.

There was no denying it, he now knew what had happened to his former captain. All of the theories, all of the thoughts turned into a nightmare as he realized that it was the truth. He was too deeply immersed in his thoughts to feel Rukia's hand up against his, his heart racing as it all was revealed to be true: Kuchiki Byakuya was raped.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Yumichika stood in front of the 8th Division, watching people filtered in and out. The spying had not stopped, nor would it ever. Yumichika had heard the rumors that happened in the 1st Division, he heard that Kyouraku had come in and attacked both Kuchiki and Ukitake resulting in the watch being more and more overbearing. He watched as people filtered out, asking them where they were going and then sending them with a member of the 6th Division to escort them there. The nights were usually boring, but he never expected to see who he was about to see out this late.

"So it's true?" a voice asked. "The 6th Division is spying on the 8th Division…"

Yumichika didn't even look at the man who was speaking. "Zaraki-taichou, what do you want? Are you here to speak to Kyouraku-taichou? He's under high security supervision so if you must see him I can escort you there…"

"I'm not here to see Kyouraku…" Zaraki walked closer to Yumichika. "I came to talk to you…"

"I thought you washed your hands of me…" Yumichika shook his head. "Are you here to kill me?"

"No… it would be too easy to tear you in two…"

"Then what do you want?"

Zaraki made his point clear. "I want you to stop your captain from extending his security onto the 11th and 12th Divisions…"

"We will watch whatever we see fit, and if that includes your division…"

He felt his body being pushed into a wall as he his eyes met his former captains. "I could crush you like a flower right now, no one would hear you scream, no one would care… you're nothing but Kuchiki Byakuya's lap dog, doing all of his dirty work, but forgetting what the real problem is… Aizen Sousuke…"

Yumichika closed his eyes as he felt Zaraki's hands painfully push up against his ribs. "What do you mean?"

"Hisagi Shuuhei… he's the Seed of the Devil, you saw that kidou spell today…" Zaraki shook his head. "And then there's Abarai…"

"Abarai was one of your own…"

"So were you… and here I am crushing the life out of you…" Zaraki hissed. "Remember that I can kill you at any moment…"

"Are you threatening me?" Yumichika took a deep breath.

Zaraki backed away from him, Yumichika falling to the ground as he tried to catch his breath. "Consider this a warning…"

As Zaraki walked away, Yumichika fell against the wall breathing heavily. He closed his eyes tightly as he felt the bruises form on his ribs, his body becoming rigid as he buried his face in his hands. The world was spinning in the opposite direction as he took a deep breath. The Gates of Hell had opened, and slowly they were all being pulled into the inferno. There was no more fighting it.

* * *

I'm back after months of trying to sort a whole bunch of shit out. I'm sorry for the hold up when it comes to this story, its just hard for me to come up with inspiration these days. I know there are some moments in this story where people are gonna be yelling and ranting, but I always like to take risks with my writing and explore new pairings.

Hopefully the next chapter will be up a little sooner.

Don't forget to review.


	11. Chapter 11

**Pairings:** Hisagi/Kira, Ikkaku/Yumichika, and slight Renji x Rukia  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, talk of sexual content, talk of suicide, and some violence. Not to mention any errors that I may have left (I don't even have an excuse to make this time).  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach, **Tite Kubo does.

* * *

The door to the 9th Division office swung open as Hisagi entered the room looking straight at his lieutenant. "Ichigo!" he closed the door behind him. "Do you have any idea what you just did?"

Ichigo shook his head. "You weren't supposed to see that."

"You almost killed a captain! Do you have any idea how that looks? It looked like you wanted to take his spot as captain of the 13th Division, a division that is one of our allies!" Hisagi's voice almost broke as he kept yelling. "Then again you have no idea what we've been through…"

Ichigo snorted as he ignored his captain's overbearing presence. "It's not all about you…"

Hisagi took a deep breath as his heart raced, his muscles tightening as he tried to ignore the words that had been said to him. Every single person who turned on his, every single cold whisper about him, it all came back to him like a tsunami of pain. He closed his eyes tightly as he moved to Ichigo, his breathing becoming ragged as he tried to block everything out.

"Nothing is ever about me… I learned that a long time ago… I learned that no matter what no one is going to give a shit about me. And the one person who did… the only one who doesn't look at me differently since the accident… you tried to kill him," Hisagi's voice shook violently. "I'm worthless, I know that and now… you… you came in and made everything worse…"

"I made everything worse? Maybe _you_ did…"

Hisagi's heart stopped. "Take that back…"

"After all you were the one who ran into the war zone, you were the one who got stabbed, you're the one who isolated yourself from the world."

Hisagi backed away as he tried to catch his breath. "I'm going to give you a chance to take that back."

"I'm not taking anything back… you need to stop blaming other people. We're all to blame for this."

Hisagi didn't know what happened next, but all that he knew was the next moment, he had pushed Ichigo to the ground, pinning him by his neck. Rage took him over, a beast that he couldn't control as he strangled Ichigo, his adrenaline rushing as he pushed Ichigo deeper into the ground.

"You think you got it all figured out. You may be captain level, but if I wanted I could silence you forever right now. Don't talk to me like that… don't even think about me like that. Understood?"

"Hisagi…"

Hisagi pushed him deeper into the ground. "All my fault, you little shit. You think this is all my fault?" Hisagi'a hand tightened until Ichigo was struggling for breath. "Maybe this is all my fault… maybe it's my fault Kira won't look at me because I'm just some crazy, homosexual, suicidal, alcoholic slut!"

"C-calm down," Ichigo choked.

Hisagi took a deep breath. "Maybe I m better off dead!"

The door then opened again, a familiar voice coming to Hisagi's side. "Hisagi-san, let go!"

Hisagi turned to catch blue eyes in his vision, his hands loosening as he saw the one man that he didn't want to see. He released Ichigo, hearing the lieutenant choke as he tried to catch his breath. All Hisagi could look at were the eyes that he had once gazed into with so much passion, his body feeling heavy as hands moved to grasp his shoulders.

He closed his eyes tightly as he moved to embrace Kira as his whole body shook, burying his face in the other captain's chest. Hisagi felt hands up against his back, feeling Kira slowly pulling him back to reality as he was slowly losing grip on himself. In his arms, he felt as though everything was slowly receding, the pain, the agony, it was all gone. He moved to look into Kira's eyes.

"It's okay… calm down…" Kira breathed softly, a soft coo passing his lips. "It's okay…"

Ichigo rose to sit up and look at the two captains. "What the hell are you doing here, Kira?"

Kira looked into Ichigo's eyes. "Saving your life…"

Hisagi took a deep breath. "Kira…"

"Shhh," Kira rubbed his back gently. "Look at me…" he moved to look into Hisagi's eyes. "You have to calm down…"

Hisagi closed his eyes tightly as he felt Kira's hand move to stroke his face. His heart slowed as he felt Kira's breath on his flesh, his arms wrapped around his body. The sensation made him fall deeper into Kira's body, running a hand through Kira's hair as he tried to catch his breath.

"Feeling better?" Kira asked as he looked into Hisagi's eyes again.

"What are you doing here?"

"You were choking your lieutenant…"

Hisagi scoffed. "And you're going to come in here and tell me more about me. I've already heard your thoughts. I'm a crazy man who's better off dead. And now you're coming in here and acting like nothing's happened between us. And it's my business and my choice in how I punish my lieutenant."

"I should leave…" Ichigo breathed as he stood up.

"No, you don't have to…" Kira looked over at the lieutenant, feeling the awkwardness he was feeling. "What are you getting at, Hisagi-san?"

Hisagi stood up as he saw the bottle that was on his desk. "Like you don't know… you know what you've been doing to me. You pick me and you put me down, you pick me up and you put me down over and over again! You give me hope just so I can fall again…"

"That's not what I'm doing…" Kira's eyes looked straight into Hisagi's. "I…"

"It's my fault you left me like that, isn't it? You're going to blame it all on me when you know that night when you came in here we had a moment. Right here on this desk!" he slammed his hand against the desk. "And you think I'll forget that. I will never forget that. I was happy. I was finally content with my life before that day. I never ever thought I would turn out like _this_…"

"You're life isn't as bad as you're making it out to be…"

"Easy for you to say, you never had to wake up and wonder what you're life is going to be like. You're life never changed. I have spent over a century knowing exactly what my life is, knowing exactly who I am, and then in the course of one night under the stars it all changed!"

Ichigo moved to grasp some paperwork off of the desk. "I think it's better if you leave, Kira…"

Hisagi looked into Kira's eyes. "Is that what you want to do? Love me and then turn on me. Love me and then rip my heart out of my chest with Kyouraku?"

"No…" Kira looked into Hisagi's eyes. "I would never hurt you like that…"

"You've hurt me so much before…"

"Never like _that_…" Kira sounded almost insulted by the accusations. "You think I want to do that to you? You think I enjoy making you upset? I know why you're acting out like this…"

"You think you have it all figured out, don't you?"

"I do… you're acting out because you want to prove to yourself that you don't need me… you want to prove that you can be happy with other people, but it hasn't worked, because when you look at me you know what you want…"

Hisagi shook his head. "Cocky little shit…"

Kira stood up and walked closer to Hisagi. "Hisagi-san…"

Hisagi closed his eyes as his fingers tightened on the desk. "Kira…"

Just as they were finally close enough to touch each other, the door opened yet again. "Hisagi-taichou…" it was Rukia. "It's Renji… he's asking for you…" it was that moment she noticed their position. "Oh… I'm sorry… am I interrupting something? I can come back later…"

Hisagi looked into Kira's eyes as he took a deep breath. "No, Kira was just leaving."

Kira shook his head. "This isn't over…"

Hisagi looked at Rukia and nodded. "Of course I can go… after all, what's more important than Abarai?"

As he walked out of the room, he didn't spare a glance at Kira. It was like he no longer existed, but in his heart, he was always going to be there.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Yumichika walked toward the 1st Division barracks his breathing had become labored as he felt the bruises starting to push against his ribs. He tried his hardest to compose himself as he went closer to Ikkaku's room. He couldn't tell him what happened. Ikkaku would never believe it. As he reached the door he took one final breath.

"Yumichika?" Ikkaku opened the door. "Aren't you supposed to be watching the 8th Division?"

"The 3rd Seat took over for me…" Yumichika walked into the room. "And I wanted to see you…"

Ikkaku grinned as he closed the door. "That stressed?"

"I've been watching for a really long time…" Yumichika moved to sit on his bed. "I needed a break…"

Ikkaku moved to sit next to him. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah…" Yumichika breathed. "I'm fine…"

Ikkaku moved to touch Yumichika's hand softly. "When the Soul Society is falling apart, at least nothing has happened to us…" he looked into the 6th Division lieutenant's eyes. "We still have each other to lean on…"

"Yeah…" Yumichika breathed as he felt Ikkaku's hand tighten on his, the 1st Division lieutenant's lips moving to touch his neck softly. "Ikkaku…"

Their lips touched in a soft kiss as the two of them embraced tightly, Yumichika's mind finally at ease, forgetting the threats from earlier. He moved to kiss deeper against Ikkaku's lips, slowly making love to his mouth as his hands tightened on his back. The heat consumed him to the point where he didn't even notice he was being pushed back.

"Ah…" Yumichika winced as Ikkaku's weight was on his chest. "I-Ikkaku…"

Ikkaku backed away from him as he looked at the tears that were forming in Yumichika's eyes. "What's wrong? Did you get hurt?"

Yumichika swallowed hard. "It's nothing…" Ikkaku pressed his hand against Yumichika's chest, the pain bubbling through his chest again. "A-Ah…"

Ikkaku shook his head as the pain was obvious on Yumichika's face. "That's not nothing. Your ribs are broken…"

Yumichika's body trembled as he tried to cover up what had happened to him, not wanting Ikkaku to turn on him. "My ribs are broken?"

"What did you do to get yourself in that much trouble?" Ikkaku backed away from him; the anger rolling through him, his voice became low as he was trying to get to the bottom of this. "Who did this to you? Was it Kuchiki-taichou?"

Yumichika shook his head. "N-No! Kuchiki-taichou would never do this to me."

"Then who?" he wasn't going to give up. "Who the hell did this to you? I know that you didn't do this to yourself…" his voice only filled with more venomous hatred. "Was it Kyouraku? Did he do this to you? Did he?"

Yumichika swallowed hard as he revealed the name of his assailant, closing his eyes as he didn't want to see Ikkaku's reaction. "Zaraki…"

It was completely different than he ever thought the reaction would be. Ikkaku's eyes closed as he took a deep breath, his hands curling in fists as he backed away from Yumichika. It was that moment where Yumichika knew that Ikkaku was no longer on Zaraki's side. The anger was swirling, becoming overwhelming as Yumichika struggled to breathe, feeling the tension strangling him.

Ikkaku shook his head as he looked in the direction of the door. "Zaraki's a dead man…"

"No, please don't go after him. I don't want him to know that I told anyone about this. That's what he wants…" Yumichika took a deep breath as he ran his hand slowly along Ikkaku's shoulder. "I want to be with you right now to prove that there's someone who doesn't think I've lost who I am…"

Ikkaku moved to kiss Yumichika again. "I don't think you've lost yourself. The man is a monster, even I know that now. Did you think I was going to defend him? I stopped defending him the moment where I realized that you're much more important to me… Zaraki Kenpachi died a long time ago to me… but you… you're still alive to me…"

"Ikkaku…" Yumichika closed his eyes as he felt Ikkaku's breath on his lips.

Yumichika closed his eyes as Ikkaku moved on top of him again, the pain not feeling so horrible anymore. He kissed Ikkaku passionately as he moved his hands to undo the sash that was keeping his uniform closed. The ardor surrounded him as he knew that they could not be broken. Out of all of the people in the Soul Society, they were going to survive. They were going to live through this.

"Yumi…" Ikkaku breathed. "No matter what… you know that I'll always support whatever you do…"

Yumichika smiled as he kissed Ikkaku lightly, his breath heavy as Ikkaku moved to kiss along his neck. "I know…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi walked into the 13th Division seeing the captain lying on the bed, his eyes looking at the ceiling. Renji looked different that Hisagi thought he would, he was pale, his auburn eyes were glassy as he tried his hardest to breathe. Hisagi walked deeper into the room, still Renji's eyes never left their blank stare. The closer her moved, the more he could feel the pain that Renji was going through, the heartache and betrayal he must have been feeling. In a single moment, Renji's whole life had changed.

"Abarai?" Hisagi asked quietly as he moved closer to the 13th Division captain. "You summoned me…"

Renji took a deep breath as he closed his eyes tightly, his voice soft as he looked into Hisagi's eyes. "What's happening to me?" he took a deep breath as his whole body shook. "What's happening…?"

Hisagi closed his eyes as he knew what he was talking about. "This is all my fault. If I was more careful, this wouldn't have happened. I made you this monster…" he opened his eyes to look at Renji whose face was buried in his hands. "I'm so sorry…"

Renji took a deep breath. "All of these images, they're haunting me… I can't shake them… is this how you feel?"

"Aizen's presence is a strong one…" Hisagi shook his head as he repeated those words over in his head. "You were never supposed to feel this way… you were never supposed to see the things that I see. You were never supposed to see the murder of the former 1st Division captain and lieutenant, the attack on Kyouraku Shunsui, the brutalization of Kuchiki Byakuya."

"But I have seen them… I now know what happened and I have to see it over and over again…" Renji's voice was on the verge of breaking. "When will this go away? When will it leave me be?"

"I don't know…" Hisagi took a deep breath. "Aizen's dead and still I feel him within me. He's suffocating me, torturing me, making me wish I were dead… I don't want you to feel this way."

"Are you going to tell everyone?"

Hisagi heard those words, his heart almost stopping. "No. _Never_. If those men knew what had happened to you, if they knew that I transferred Aizen into you they'd kill the both of us… we need to keep this a secret to save your life…"

Renji shook his head. "It's over, isn't it?"

"No," Hisagi took a deep breath. "This is so far from over…"

"Are you sure?" Renji sighed as he fell deeper into the bed, closing his eyes. "Because for the first time in my life I can see myself dying…"

"I'm sure… you're going to live through this even if I have to find a way to absorb Aizen from you with my own hands, even if I have to fully become him," Hisagi looked out the window. "We just have to keep this all a secret until we can find a way to reverse this… I did this to you… I'm going to fix you…"

"Don't tell me this unless you mean it…" Renji's voice was toxic, burning through Hisagi's skin with just a few syllables. "Don't tell me this unless you are sure that you want to be involved in this…"

"I'm sure… I'm already involved in this, Abarai. I'm the reason that this happened to you. I have to do this," Hisagi breathed as he looked into Renji's eyes, his whole body shaking. "I will go to Hell and back to save you. These aren't empty words. No matter what happens, I'm going to be there for you…"

Hisagi moved to grasp Renji's hand as the younger captain looked away from him. He closed his eyes tightly as the first tear fell down his cheek as he knew that the world that he lived in was only getting worse as the would collapsed underneath his touch. The ones that he once held dear to his heart were all doomed to suffer indescribable fates. Another tear rolled down his cheek as he knew what he had to do: he had to save them. He was no longer afraid of his destiny.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ichigo walked into the room, all of hi friends looking straight at him as he tried to cover up the bruises that were forming on his neck. He could feel their eyes looking straight at him as he walked deeper into the room. Orihime being the first one to notice, her eyes wide as she moved closer to him.

"Kurosaki-kun?" her voice was low. "What happened?"

Ichigo sighed. "My punishment. It's okay, I thought he was going to kill me, arrest me, strip me of my powers, this is nothing."

Ishida shook his head. "Maybe you shouldn't have attacked a captain. What the hell were you thinking? You could have been killed…"

Ichigo closed his eyes as he remembered that last coming closer to him. "I probably should have been dead. I don't know what Renji did, but it wasn't normal. Renji could hardly control a level thirty kidou spell last time we saw him, now all of a sudden he can do level eighty…"

"We have been gone for quite some time…" Orihime answered.

"Then why did everyone in the crowd look shocked when he did it? Even Hisagi-san looked shocked, and the two of them were in war together…" Ichigo shook his head. "There's something inside Renji, something that scares the life out of me…"

"Do you think it's serious?" Ishida asked.

"If it is, then you guys are going home. I can't put you at risk if this is what everyone is capable of…" Ichigo closed his eyes tightly. "Don't argue this time…"

Ishida shook his head. "We're not going to leave you…"

"You can't handle this…" Ichigo warned.

"Neither can you. If Hisagi-san didn't block that attack, you wouldn't be in one piece right now…" Ishida's voice full of concern, something completely alien to him. "If this is what we're in for, then we aren't leaving you. You're going to need us…"

"I don't want to watch any of you die…" Ichigo's voice was low. "I can't lose any of you…"

Ishida smirked. "Who said you're going to lose us?"

"Don't get like this, Ishida…" Ichigo scoffed as he looked away from him. "There's something going on here, and I know that none of you can take it. You all have to leave…"

"We're not leaving you during this, Kurosaki…" Ishida explained. "We're here for you until the end…"

"Why won't you listen to me?" Ichigo shook his head. "Why won't you three for once in your life listen to me…"

"Because you never listen to us…" Ishida answered. "I know that if any of us were in the situation that you were in, you wouldn't turn on us. You'd be with us until the end…"

"He's right…" Sado continued. "You've never let any of us down before. We're not going to let you down. You can say what you will, but we're not going to leave you… we're here for Ichigo… accept that."

Ichigo closed his eyes as he heard those words. "If I lose any of you…"

"You're so fixated on the loss," Ishida shook his head. "There's going to be no loss. We aren't as weak as you think we are… we can stand on our own feet."

Ichigo closed his eyes tighter as he heard those words. After all of the months of not listening to Ishida he hoped that he was right. He hoped that he wouldn't have to watch as he lost any of them. For the first time in his life, he hoped that there was going to be no more fighting.

* * *

Wow t seems like forever since I posted osmething. Oh yeah it has been forever. Glad to be back (I wonder how long it will last tis time around...)

Hopefully the next chapter will be up a little sooner (or not, after all I said the same thing back in August and it's December now).

Don't forget to review, I love your feedback!


	12. Chapter 12

**Pairings:** Hisagi/Kira, Renji x Rukia, and slight Kyouraku/Ukitake  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also some OOC, language, slight sexual content, and talk of violence. Not to mention any errors that I may have left we all know how bad I am at picking those up.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach, **Tite Kubo does.

* * *

As all of the captains filtered into the room, there was only one word that could describe the group: dead. No one looked at one another. No one talked to one another. No one even took the time to notice the presence of the other captains. They had fallen apart; no one could trust each other. Even as Ukitake looked out into the reaches of the room, he couldn't see any of the captains that he had once served beside only hollow copies of them. No one was alive anymore; the civil war was killing all of them.

No one said anything as they looked at Ukitake, none of them wanting to be the first to start their own personal confrontation with those who were around them. They stood there for what was like an eternity, no one wanting to acknowledge the presence of those around them. It was at that moment when Ukitake decided that it was time to speak.

"I think you all know why we're here," his eyes couldn't make contact with Kyouraku. "You no doubt have heard about the information from Hueco Mundo that two of our captains have retrieved for us."

Kuchiki took a deep breath. "What do you suppose we do about it?"

Ukitake looked into the 6th Division captain's eyes, immediately answering him. "We find a way to counter it. We have to find out as much as we can about this phenomenon and then we have to put an end to whatever harm it wishes to cause to us. We have to start looking out for ourselves or we'll all doomed."

The usual fights didn't break out as all of the captains looked on their own feet. There was nothing left to fight over. There was nothing left for them to scream at each other about. They were barely alive in front of Ukitake. They had finally killed each other. There was nothing more to be said.

"Any questions?" Ukitake looked out into the crowd.

There was no answer to his question.

"Meeting adjourned," he watched as all of the captains filtered out of the room. "Abarai, come here."

The 13th Division captain turned around and walked toward Ukitake. He looked the worst out of all of them. Since his fight with Ichigo, Renji had become pale, his eyes completely empty. Ukitake could tell that there was something growing inside of Abarai Renji that no one could see. Renji looked up to make eye contact with the 1st Division captain, his stare completely devoid of life.

"You wanted to speak to me, Sir?" Renji's voice was low.

Ukitake felt as though there was something Renji was hiding. There was something that was occurring inside of Renji that he didn't want anyone to know about. He was defensive. He was avoiding Ukitake's glance as he looked down at the ground. Out of everyone who was dying in front of him, he never thought that Renji would ever become this extreme. He never thought that Renji was actually going to die. The look that he saw within his eyes was he same look that he saw within Hisagi's. War had broken him.

"I have a special mission for you," Ukitake announced.

"Mission?" Renji's vision moved to meet Ukitake's again.

"I want you to go to the World of the Living with your lieutenant and…"

"Have Kurosaki do it," Renji didn't waste time with his argument, not even letting Ukitake finish his thought. "He knows that world far better than I do. Send him with Rukia."

Ukitake wasn't going to let him get off that easily. "But you're better equipped for the mission. We need a captain."

"Then send Hisagi-san," Renji kept arguing. "You don't need me to do something that you know _any _other captain can do. You could send anybody, why me?"

Ukitake sighed. "The 13th Division is the liaison between the Soul Society and the World of the Living. You're the captain of the 13th Division; this is _your _jurisdiction, Abarai."

Renji shook his head. "I can't."

"You don't even know what I'm going to have you do," Ukitake smiled with a small laugh. "You make it seem like you're going to war again."

"I made a mistake. I wanted to save Hisagi-san. I desperately wanted to save Hisagi-san," he shook his head as his voice became low. "But I made a mistake. I almost got both of us killed, and who knows how many men died. I can't do another mission. Not after all that I've done."

Ukitake sat down in his chair. "There's no way anyone can die during this mission, Abarai. This I can promise you. We can't do his by ourselves. The information that you brought back, the 12th Division can't make heads or tails of it. We need outside help."

"Like a specialist?" Renji asked as if he were finally interested again. "You want us to bring Urahara Kisuke…?"

"No, no," Ukitake shook his head. "It's not _that _extreme. There are two men in who are stationed in The World of the Living, this is something that I feel will be right up their alley. They research supernatural creatures and beings, and that's what I think this is. Your mission would to find these men and convince them to come up here and help us decipher what these beasts are."

Renji took a deep breath. "Bounty hunters? You want us to bring in bounty hunters? What are you going to pay them? And why pay them when you could use any other person's services for free?"

"Because these men know what they're talking about, Abarai. And because this is the only option that makes sense for the time being. Genryuusai-dono left me in charge of the Gotei 13, I don't want to let him down by making the wrong choice," Ukitake bowed his head. "Abarai, you have to do this, for everyone."

Renji sighed. "Fine I'll do it. But you better hope this is the right choice you're making. Otherwise I don't know what's going to happen."

Ukitake looked into the eyes of the young 13th Division captain. "This is the only way that we can save everyone. Maybe they can even find out what's wrong with the two of you."

"There's nothing wrong with us," Renji answered quickly. "The only problem that Hisagi-san has been having is deal with that heart being implanted in his chest. There's nothing else wrong with him. And there's nothing wrong with me."

Ukitake didn't need to look into Renji's eyes to see that he was in denial. The air that was exuding off of him told him such. The 13th Division captain was dead and gone leaving only a corpse behind without a soul. Abarai Renji was dead, but they could still save him. As he looked at the captain that was in front of him, he knew that it was all going to be over very soon. He was going to save everyone in his kingdom even if it killed him, even if he could stand in the end.

"And I'd like to keep it that way," Ukitake answered as he looked into Renji's eyes. "But they might be able to help with Aizen. They might be able to exorcise him from Hisagi-kun."

Renji's eyes lit up. "What?"

"They have a lot of experience in spiritual aspects. An exorcism seems like it would be nothing for them," Renji's eyes fell to the ground. "They could save him from all of this hatred. He would never have to go through what he's had to in the past months."

Renji shook his head. "Are you telling the truth, or do you just want me to go?"

"I think they could do it, Abarai-kun. I honestly think they could save him."

Renji's voice was shaking. "I'm leaving tonight."

"Abarai…"

"If they can do what you said they can, I can't wait any longer. I have to save him. I promised myself that I wouldn't let him die, and now you've given me an opportunity to help him. I'm not going to turn it down."

Ukitake realized what was going on within his Gotei 13. They had split into two sides. The side that wanted Hisagi Shuuhei dead and the side that wanted him to live. Abarai Renji desperately wanted him to live. He would do anything for him. As Ukitake looked deep into those eyes, he knew that Renji was going to be the one who saved Hisaig Shuuhei. He was going to be the one who kept him alive. He sighed as he looked at the 13th Division captain who was now newly gung-ho about this mission.

"You have my permission to leave tonight, Abarai," Ukitake nodded. "You will stay in constant contact with the 9th Division with your progress."

Renji nodded as he turned around to live the room. It should have been a moment that put Ukitake at peace, but as he saw another captain walk back into the room, he turned around, unable to even look at him. He closed his eyes as if he were trying to block out that he tried to erase him, but he couldn't.

"Ukitake…" the Captain Commander looked behind him.

"Kyouraku-taichou? What brings you here?" his voice was cold.

"I wanted to talk to you…"

Ukitake scoffed as he moved to sit down in the chair behind him. "Talk to me? Like you've been talking to me for only God knows how long. I don't want to talk, Kyouraku. I don't ever want to talk to you again."

"I'm sorry. I snapped."

"Snapped? You more than snapped. You _exploded_! You've been exploding for months now. Since the day I got attacked by that hollow you've become a completely different person. I don't know who you are anymore."

"And you think I know who you are? You aren't the Ukitake I know," Kyouraku shook his head. "You've become… like them. Where is your justice? Where is your heart? Where is your compassion?"

Ukitake shook his head. "Compassion? I've gotten nowhere in my whole life with that attitude. I always thought this world would shape up, but now I know that all you're going to do now is attack each other… even me. You're never going to look at me the same, and I have no clue why, Shunsui. I don't know why you've decided to attack me."

Kyouraku shook his head. "Everything's falling apart."

"And you've made it your responsibility to try to fix it by attacking everyone who opposed you? You're scared. I know you are. You think Aizen is still alive."

"A lot of people do."

"That doesn't mean it's true!" Ukitake could feel tears pooling in his eyes. "Genryuusai-dono would never let this happen."

"Genryuusai-dono would have killed Hisagi on the spot," Kyouraku argued, but Ukitake knew that he was speaking the truth.

"I know," Ukitake bowed his head. "I know that you think I should kill him. But how can I? How can I even _think_ about killing him? After all that we've been through? After everything how can I blame it all on one man? And why? Because of a fate I condemned him to? He would have chosen to die, you know that. If anyone is to blame, it's me."

"You want me to blame everything on you?" Kyouraku asked. "After what Aizen did to you…"

"_Aizen_, not Hisagi. Hisagi has done nothing to harm me, and until he does he's not going anywhere. As long as I'm in charge, he lives. Byakuya feels the same way," Ukitake looked directly into Kyouraku's eyes. "Do you have anything to say against that? If you do then go back to Zaraki and Kurotsuchi, they'll help you through this."

As he looked into Kyouraku's eyes, he knew that this was the end of their friendship. They were forever going to be at odds with each other. There was no hope for reconciliation. As Ukitake looked into his former friend's eyes, he knew that the pain between them was never going to ease. This was war.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi sat at his desk going over the information from Hueco Mundo repeatedly. The pain that was in his chest was still there although it was only a dull roar of its former self. He looked through the files as he tried desperately tried to find out what happened that day when he was alone with Aizen. Those words were still fresh in his mind as the pain rolled through his chest, as he looked into Renji's eyes. No matter what, it was always going to be there. He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath.

He heard a knock on the door, looking up. "Ichigo?"

The door opened. "Hisagi-san…"

Hisagi looked up, immediately stopping what he was doing. "Abarai?" he stood up behind the desk as he dropped his pen. "What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you," Renji breathed as he moved closer to the desk.

Hisagi swallowed hard as he closed his eyes. "What about?"

"You seem tense."

"I know what you're here about. It's about Aizen, isn't it?" Hisagi asked as he looked into the other captain's eyes. "I know that I did this to you but…"

"Ukitake-soutaichou thinks someone can fix it," Renji watched as Hisagi fell back into the chair, a blank stare being his answer. "He thinks that there are bounty hunters that can exorcise the energy from us."

"You didn't say anything to him, did you? You didn't reveal yourself?" Hisagi's mind was a jumble as he looked at Renji. "They'll kill you if they found out, and if they thought that this was contagious," he shook his head. "We'd have a double execution…"

"There is no execution," Renji answered as he moved his hand to the desk. "They can fix it…"

Hisagi didn't believe him. "How can they fix something that is laced in the flesh that beats in my chest? How can they destroy power that runs through these veins? My blood is toxic, there's no cure for that. Not even death can destroy this."

Renji's hands moved to touch Hisagi's hands, his eyes meeting his. Everything melted away as they looked deep into one another. For a moment, if only a moment, Hisagi thought that he was able to be cured from this curse. At that moment, he thought that he would be able to wake up from this nightmare. He closed his eyes as his hands tensed, breathing softly as he bowed his head.

"I said that I would save you," Renji whispered as he held on tighter to his hands. "I said that I would kill to save your life. I'm leaving tonight to find them."

"Abarai…"

"I'm going to bring them back here and they're going to save you."

Hisagi shook his head. "Not before they save you…"

"We're both getting saved."

Hisagi could feel the tears that were rolling down his cheeks as Renji moved to embrace him. He didn't know why he was crying. He didn't care. As he cried in Renji's arms, his cries turning into screaming sobs, he felt as though a huge weight was being lifted off of his shoulders. Burying his face deeper into Renji's body, he could only sob more as he realized that everything was about to end. He was going to be alive again.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Rukia sat at the desk of the 13th Division. Her whole life had changed. She was no longer the woman that she thought she would be. Months ago she thought that she was forever going to be in Renji's arms. She thought that all of her dreams were going to come true. They deserved each other; after all of the years she knew that was true. Yet as she sat there alone, she knew that he was never going to be hers again. She closed her eyes as she rested her elbow against the desk.

That was when the door opened. She immediately snapped back to attention as she saw who walked into. "Ukitake-sama!"

Ukitake looked around the office. "It's been a while since I've been in here," his eyes moved to every inch of the room. "It's so different. It's gloomier."

"That's my fault," Rukia breathed. "I made it this way…"

Ukitake didn't want to waste any time in trying to make her feel better, cutting to the chase. "What if I told you that I could help you fix that?"

She couldn't believe what she heard. "What did you say?"

He repeated himself. "What if I told you there was a way that you and Abarai-kun could be happy again?"

She shook her head. "There's no way…"

"There's a mission to the World of the Living. Abarai-kun is going tonight. You are to accompany him," he looked deep into her eyes. "This could be what the two of you need to get back together…"

"And what makes you think that he wants to go anywhere with me?" Rukia moved to slump against the desk again. "He hates me more than anything…"

Ukitake shook his head. "He's doing this for Hisagi-kun…"

Rukia scoffed. "Hisagi! Everything's about Hisagi, isn't it?" she shook her head. "The motivation to save Hisagi isn't going to bring us back together; it's going to make him go down a road to save his own personal justice. I'm nothing to him anymore. All he thinks about is saving Hisagi. All he talks about is Hisagi. Everything is literally Hisagi… I'm nothing to him."

Ukitake wasn't holding anything back. "With that mentality you'll never get anything you want. This is a way to appeal to him, express the way you feel for him. You can solve everything."

Rukia wanted to know the answer to one question, and as she looked into the soutaichou's eyes, she knew that she couldn't live until she heard the answer. "Why do you care so much?"

Ukitake chuckled. "Let's just say that I know a thing or two about friendships that mean so much more to you and how it stings when they break up," he shook his head. "I'm a helpless romantic that way…"

Rukia shook her head. "And everything I've done…"

"If he loves you, he'll forgive you," Ukitake looked into Rukia's eyes. "Your brother wouldn't want to see it any other way… you know that…"

Rukia looked out the window as she thought deep and hard about what she had to. She had to go off into the distance and fix everything that she had broken. She was going to fall in love with Renji again. She needed to put everything aside and finally help the one person that she had been abusing this whole time: herself.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira was sitting at his desk as he heard the door open. His eyes fell to the door to see Hisagi in tears in his doorway. He stood up immediately and walked toward the door. As he threw his arms around Hisagi's shaking body, he felt tears pool in his own eyes, pulling Hisagi closer. He barely had anytime to say anything before he felt his lips fall onto the 9th Division captain's in a soft kiss.

"Isai-san, what's wrong?" he rested his head on Hisagi's shoulder. "Are you hurt?"

Hisagi shook his head. "No…" his hands pressed against Kira's back. "Not anymore…" he moved back to look Kira in the eyes. "I love you, Kira…"

Kira didn't know what it was, he didn't know whether he was drunk or if this was real. He didn't even know if he was awake right now. But as he felt those lips up against his own, he no longer cared. He kissed back passionately as he felt himself get pushed back to the desk. The raw passion made his head swirl as moans passed his mouth, his fingers tangled in Hisagi's black hair. He didn't care if it was real, it was real to him.

He licked the tears off of Hisagi's cheeks as he felt himself being pushed deeper into the wood of the desk, the papers falling to the ground as Kira caught Hisagi's mouth again. As he threw his head back, all he could feel was the softness of Hisagi's lips up against his flesh, his eyes closed tightly as he swallowed against the pressure. He was in absolute bliss.

"Hisagi-san?" Kira breathed. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but I like it…" he kissed his lips again. "Kiss me again…"

Hisagi backed away. "They can fix it," he breathed in between kisses. "I'm not going to be a monster anymore… all of your fears are slowly going away."

Kira placed his hand on Hisagi's chest, feeling his heart beat underneath his touch. He looked deeper into his eyes as he got lost in the sensation. He was so close to him, he could almost feel the life swarming back into him. The days of monstrosity were about to come to an end. But as the passion climbed Kira didn't know whether to push Hisagi away or pull him closer. As he kissed gently at his lips he didn't know what he was doing. But he knew that he wasn't going to rob Hisagi a moment of joy. And as he melted into him, he realized that he was overjoyed as well.

In the morning, they would forget all about this, but for now it was a moment that Kira wanted to be immersed in forever. And for that moment, Kira truly thought they could love each other.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"You are to go to this address, get all of the information you can and then report back with the bounty hunters," Kuchiki tried to explain while Renji was preparing himself for the journey. "You will go to Urahara Kisuke's to receive gigais. Try your hardest not to tell him too much information, we don't want him to think that we're in peril. Just get the gigais and then report to this address."

"Any reason why you don't want them to know?" Renji asked. "Or is it because you're unable to swallow your pride?"

"As far as he knows, Yamamoto-soutaichou is still alive and Ukitake-soutaichou is still an invalid captain. We don't want him to panic about Aizen before we even know what's going on," Kuchiki looked directly into Renji's eyes. "Don't tell anyone about that…"

"What about the bounty hunters?" Rukia asked. "Can we tell them?"

Renji scoffed. "That might be helpful so they know what's going on."

"Well _excuse _me, who died and made you queen of this mission, Abarai-taichou?"

Kuchiki looked at the two officers of the 13th Division, handing Renji a phone. "Call Hisagi-taichou whenever you gather new information."

Renji took the phone. "Understood…"

Kuchiki nodded, there was nothing left to say. "Whenever you're ready…"

Renji looked into Kuchiki's eyes; the shame was written all over his face as Renji could hear the screams getting louder. He could see the blood flowing from Kuchiki Byakuya's lips as the sword was driven deeper into his body. Renji closed his eyes as he walked away from the 6th Division captain.

"Be safe," Byakuya smiled a hollow smile. "And don't tell anyone anything…"

As the two walked away, there was so much they wanted to say to each other. There was so much that was needed to be said. Yet as they walked away, they were completely silent, not even looking at each other. They walked off to a distance that they didn't know where they were going or what they were going to find. All they knew was that life as they knew it was about to change.

* * *

I'm back and starting to become a little more regular with my posts. I know that this chapter is going to bring up a lot of questions but they will all be answered in the next chapter. And yes there is some Hisagi/Kira goodness coming up. Stay tuned for the next chapter as the story is starting to reach its climax. It probably won't be up until after New Year's so happy New Year!

Don't forget to review.


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